Adam Update Late Winter 2019
Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 62:1-2
UPDATE 2-28-19:
My husband and I just spoke to the advocate, they believe the situation with Amber is blown way out of proportion, they also say that they will file a grievance on our behalf and think it’s detrimental for them to keep out those we want to visit Adam.
Please keep praying, as we know God honors our prayers in faith to Him.
I apologize as I know many of you have asked for an update on Adam and his stay at Ridgecrest Healthcare for quite a while. In truth, we haven’t known what to say. We went from one place that got closed down by the state to another that seemed like it was at least clean and not completely broken down. In truth, our only choice between moving him to a facility over an hour plus away with no traffic. But our initial hopes were dashed pretty quickly as we saw that one just seems to be like another and Adam has sadly regressed in speech, physical ability and even cognitively.
We have faced so many problems of not getting medical care for him. To date, we have requested an opthamologist from the time he first came to Ridgecrest Healthcare (or windsorcares.com), and still it is not done. Their site promises a caring, safe environment, with beautiful inviting pictures. Like a fast food hamburger on a T.V. commercial, it looks several times better on the ads — but you don’t get what’s advertised, and later find out how bad it is for you. Dentists finally came for an initial evaluation (after asking also since his admission), yet no X-rays as of yet. He’s been complaining of pain for so long…rubbing his head over and over, I talked to the NP and his nurse and asked if we could get him evaluated, but nothing for months and months on end still. The other day when I walked up to the desk, she would not even acknowledge I was there, even when I said ‘excuse me’. She finally turned her back on me an walked into the back room. So disheartening, I can’t even put it into words. An infected toe we had to go to almost everyone there to finally get them to order a treatment (without waiting 9 weeks). We were concerned it might grow into something extremely serious as the skin was peeling off, the entire toe and part of the foot was red and purple.
Even little things have become like a dripping faucet (which we try to ignore), but it has become a steady stream of mounting problems. Poor Amber (who has come in faithfully every night) it seems has become their target. She has advocated daily for him, but by being there each day she also sees more of their errors. She has been banned from visiting (we believe completely unfairly), so we are asking for prayer for her, and guidance on what action to take whether legal action or otherwise. We also all it is a ridiculous complaint and misunderstood completely. I can’t say too much, but based we believe on bias towards her, and towards the fact that we are just there more time than any other visitors. Adam’s roommate is completely furious at Amber’s banning. He told my daughter last night. When he moved in, the staff left his boxes and things all over the room, blocking easy access for him. After about a week, Amber asked him if she could help him somehow. And she went to work, putting all his things away, organizing, folded, hanging up clothes, and she even brought a shoe rack from home for him. For no reason, but out of the goodness of her heart. God bless her… Please pray for her hurting heart and for Adam as they have never been apart and we believe this will traumatize him and he will regress even further. This has already traumatized all of us.
We have put in the necessary calls to his advocate and to an ombudsman but have yet to hear back. This feels like retaliation for reporting to each and every person who has visited Adam. Each one has offered this as their opinion of what happened, so it really feels like an attack. I asked the administrator to have the supervisor call me, but as of yet, nothing from any of them.
We don’t know if this poor care is due to what seems like a constant lack of staffing, or even dwindling necessary patient items (like diapers, wipes, towels, soap, paper towels, maintenance etc.), or if it’s just poor supervisory issues. The apathy by many is overwhelming. Those who care (of course there are good people there) are overridden by their supervisors and for fear of losing their job.
A couple weeks ago when my mom and I visited Adam late for lunch, he was sitting there alone, and everyone had their food and drinks except Adam. We waited. It has been an ongoing struggle to make sure he has fluids offered to him. Yes, water…We try to fly under the radar to a certain degree, because if you become too much trouble to them, you are concerned for repercussions where Adam is concerned. We do politely and courteously let them know when it’s a repetitive problem, but we just seem to get nowhere.
That day my mom and finally said something about Adam not having food or water, and their comment was they didn’t have vegetables yet and were looking for some. I looked around to the other plates and everyone had brussel sprouts, so I thought maybe that wasn’t on his menu because of choking (I certainly could have cut them). So they brought out long string beans (uncut) with strings still in them, and a typical small pile of ground beef with some gravy (their idea of a diet). But we don’t dare say anything anymore about getting fruits or vegetables, it has been unsuccessful, so we just try to bring in our own. They let me know they didn’t have thickener for the coffee, so theycouldn’t bring that, so I asked for thickened milk with his water, and they didn’t have that (not unusual). Again, the biggest concern is not coffee or milk, but it has always been that Adam really can’t initiate to ask for water or to say he’s thirsty. And no matter when we come in, he never has any in front of him. And the staff seems to be strangely blank (for the most part) when we say he needs to have his water.
So many things have transpired and worsened, and we’ve lost most of his support friends who have been helping. Different circumstances, but all have been unhappy with the facility in many ways. I won’t list all the many violations, the little things are enough to mention for prayer, as we will keep the rest to ourselves for the moment as we may have to take legal action. But we are moving, they have basically tried to force us out we believe in retaliation for catching so many serious violations. Please pray for wisdom and guidance in the move, as we’re overwhelmed in all the other daily health concerns since Jason has been in the hospital.
(My gift from an older woman who is an artist, all I know is her last name is Russell. Pray for her to be blessed).
The Lord I know will always provide. This has been kind of a dark valley for awhile, but we know the Lord always walks in it with us. He always comforts us. When I was coming back from my pulmonologist, the day after they had called to say Amber couldn’t visit anymore, I was praying on the long drive home. My daughter Baylie called to tell me something that could only be the comfort God gives. A customer had driven up and Baylie say a painting in the back of her car. Baylie commented that her mother would like the painting. The woman said she had painted it and handed it to her and told her to ‘give it to your mom’. Baylie thanked her profusely and didn’t think to get her name or information, but the Lord knows who she is, and I pray He blesses her for her kindness.
Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You. Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; In You I take shelter. Psalm 143:8-9
One of the biggest things I hope anyone who knows us comes away with, is ‘do you know where you will go when you die? Are you sure? If not, please don’t believe any works will do it, either visit this link. or click on how to be saved here on Redeeming Moments.
We love and appreciate you all.
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Long term care shouldn’t be like this. Praying for Adam to be shown mercy and compassion, and to have his needs met, and that his dignity will be respected, as all human beings deserve. As a long term care nurse, I am staggered and saddened.
Angela, for the reason they gave, I am staggered too. We have bent over backwards not to cause problems, but they knew Amber was there every single night and even though she did most of the work while she was there, they knew she had them in so many violations. I do not know who this is that caused this (or more than one) but the Lord knows and I am praying for justice. I don’t want to have to rock the boat, but if I have to, I’ll go to the news stations, a lawyer, Senator, Representatives, whoever I can get to listen.
Good. Go to the news stations. Shout out from the mountain tops! These goons need to be exposed and brought up on severe neglect charges!
OH THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY ?
Keeping Adam you and everyone in prayer concerning this obvious abuse by this place.
Thank you Cindy, we are very upset too. We’ve been upset for awhile, it’s a constant struggle. Some are good, others, not so much. Thank you for the prayers and we’re hoping for a resolution that is right by Him.
This is horrible. I cannot understand the callousness of these people’s hearts. Praying for you all and for remedies to come in this institution, and for those resisting needed changes to be removed and that helpful, compassion, efficient workers to be found to replace them.
Thank you Judy, I really appreciate this. Separating Adam from Amber is going to cause so many problems and we cannot fill in all these spots. Being there all the time makes us ever so aware how vigilant people need to be. I pray that something will change, but if not, that we find a better place.
By the way Judy and Angela, BOTH of your comments were in the spam file, no idea why. Thank you for your support.
I appreciate all your support on Facebook, and waiting to see if they contact me back or if I have to go another route (like some of you suggested).
Contact the Department of Justice, If you have a Department called: Department of Aging.
Elder Abuse/Neglect.
I’ll try and think of anything else. My prayers for all involved ❤
Thank you Linda, I am collecting ideas, trying to figure out my next step. I appreciate it.
awww BLESS Amber Lord…give her YOUR Comfort and Peace during this trying time! Lord we ask for direction and strength for Hooly and her whole family that will be impacted from this move! I pray that they can get the right counsel…especially Yours, Lord! Give them the Fruits of the Spirit to be able to endure this trial! BUT, especially Lord, give Adam a sense of calmness…a peace that surpasses ALL understanding cause his best friend isn’t there…his sweet friend who is so very loyal…I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling…so I ask for Your Comforter to rest upon his mind and body until they can be reunited!! I also pray for this facility…give them compassion and allow them to take responsibility of what they have done and correct their shortcomings so that these things will NOT continue to happen to others who are dependent upon them for care…we beseech You Lord for all these things and the rest that we haven’t even foreseen to be an issue…we give this whole situation to You to take care of in Your MIGHTY Way Lord…we Love You and can’t WAIT to see what You will be doing…I praise You in advance for ALL that You are doing and going to do…You are MIGHTY to SAVE…Save them Lord…in Jesus Name AMEN and AMEN! 1 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 22:2, Psalm 95:1, Psalm 18:2
Thank you Kimberrly, You have been there so many times and seen Amber in action too since this happened to Adam, I knew you would understand. We wouldn’t even consider staying if they keep Amber out, so we’re at an impasse at the moment, but praying for wisdom on which course of action to take.
Praying for Adam and your family Holly sweetheart, I’m so sad to know about the poor treatment you all have received! I wonder if there is a health grades type website where you can add your story to the list of the people who have been neglected in their medical care facilities? Perhaps legal action is the only option now? My heart and prayers go out to your whole family!
Thank you JP, yes, there is a ratings and health grade site. I’ve been waiting to see if they will respond and make this right. There are multiple people who will testify for Amber, so we may go that route. We may go the news route too. Just praying for wisdom on the right steps to take.
I could not agree more with what has been left by the visiting commentors. Praying for justice for Adam, Amber and all of your family. It is painful to just read about the indignities, and disregard for his care, lack of compassion, neglect. It is too much to comprehend the depth of the affect this has had on Adam and you all.
Cant they even for a moment.. think what life is like for Adam with his being confined, and so limited. In pain! Indignities suffered! Heartcrunching at the very least to just read.
Lord we cry out to You for Adam, and for the other patients in this place. Help Holly, find the help and support she needs.. for Adam…Guide her steps as she seeks Your Wisdom, strength, courage about what to do. Lord please help.
You are so loved Holly…by many.
Will continue to pray for you all.
<3 <3
Debbie…thank you so much. I don’t know what they think, if they are overstretched, or just counting on disgruntled employees. One thing I do know is there has not been one warning of any wrong doing towards us, but they still don’t hesitate to cause this trauma for Adam and the rest of us. I don’t know the big story, but I know He does and I pray it will turn out for good. There are many things I won’t say now, waiting to see if they make this right, but even so, I plan to go over it with them (again), so that they can do something about it (maybe).
Love and appreciate you and appreciate the prayer and support.
Something is so terribly wrong here. Praying for whomever is the one to reconsider this action that has been taken against Amber and Adam will be able clean up this house and do the right thing. The restraint you show, is from the Lord. We are angry at this treatment, so trying not to say too much either. We mom’s can take stuff, and you have, but when it is our children being mistreated and the innocents, those who need love and care and can not care for themselves… that kicks it up to a whole different level. In tears praying for you all.
There is no place on this page to show support to those commenters unless you are also a blogger. I have shared this story to my fb page.
Thank you Debbie for sharing it to your FB page. Several others have done the same.
We all have some thoughts on why the sudden push, but the Lord is a God of justice, so I pray for that for them both.
We are praying for you and your family as you make these decisions. The heart of a mom is the BEST advocate possible.
Lanita,
Thank you. Many hearts are cold and hard these days, but this breaks mine I know. I appreciate your prayers as we decide which step is next.
I have been exactly where you are with this, and I am angry with you and that that this abuse continues. Long term care should not be this way, but that matters not to the facilities providing it. Instead of improving care, more and more places are refusing to take long term patients like Adam. This is irresponsible and the recent news about another institution should open people’s eyes. Document everything. Take pictures. Make noise. Get public and name names. Speak to the state ombudsmen and prepare your papers. My situation ended in legal action. That was not exactly the desired result, either.
I am SORRY beyond words about what happened to Amber. She was his advocate and saw first hand. It was necessary to remove her to hide what is happening.
Most of all, God is in control. Despite the huge personal difficulties in my situation, He was always with me and He put His people in my path. He is with Adam right now (and you as well) and the end result ends in His Glory for all, even though it hardly seems like it now.
Prayers are with you as you manage.
Thank you Celeste, as I said before, even if they were believing what they were doing was right, they should have heard both sides, and witness (my daughter Baylie) who evidently they didn’t know was there. Or interviewed the roommate (who was furious when he heard what they did to her). I don’t really want to go the legal route either, we have tried hard to not rock the boat and to courteously let them know when things are wrong, and/or let them know right away when things are dangerous to Adam and/or unhealthy, unsanitary or just not good to his well being. Since they are the trained personnel, they should know better, but there seems to be a lot of turnover in the facility. May be that way all over, I don’t know. I just had to tell them AGAIN that he hadn’t touched his water (in his room) from 24 hours prior. I am sure they will say that he drinks at meal time, but they don’t even think to offer him a drink, and oftentimes we have to ask for it with meals. What happens when we’re not there? Those things have to be reported as people can die from dehydration. Anyways, too many other things that I don’t want to mention here, but we are and have documented throughout this time.
Thank you for your prayers for Adam and wisdom on what is next. In Christ, Holly