UPDATE PRAYER FOR ADAM

Previous prayer request for Adam (part 1)

Followup

I’ve tried to update in each place on Social Media where I’ve asked for prayer for Adam, but I thought it might be easier to catch up here.

Yesterday, I had my contrast imaging to check the size of my renal cell carcinoma, and another lump (not too suspicious), as well as checking an aneurysm (which has not grown larger the previous times). I hesitate to share these things about myself (in my flesh). I am a very private person, and really my preference would be to not share and keep it to myself. But for the sake of helping others in the future (or currently), I do it for that reason, as well as in the hopes that others may see how good and faithful He is. Because He has been with me through these things (as He is with you), through it all.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

I also would like to add, I am not ‘strong’ as some see me. I am actually very fragile, very sensitive, and easily hurt. I bury my feelings often. Past sorrows and how I have dealt with them have almost killed me in my past, as the broken hearts have even affected me physically and traumatically. I can feel it now in my body fatigue. But here is the difference. Because of my weakness, I realize there is only One to lean on (Proverbs 3:5-6), and without Him I could nothing. When I forget, (and it happens to all of us), for a moment, or in a time of grief or worry, then I tend to collapse more physically speaking. I wonder though how on earth people do it, that do not know Jesus as their Savior. I could not…

Please, if you are unsure of where you would go if you died today, read this

Today, I am very tired, legs like lead. Yesterday (not because of the imaging), wore me out in more ways than one and if I look ahead, I would collapse. (Don’t look ahead, the Bible says that sufficient for today is the trouble therein (Matt 6:34). Don’t worry about tomorrow, take each thing in prayer, and leave it with Him and if you take it back, give it back again (1 Pet 5:5-7).

The staff has been very competent and thorough, but I know they don’t really understand quite either about his TBI. I sat by quietly yesterday as they asked how old he was. This time he answered 12, and I believe the brain injury probably has made him think of himself as young all along. He is a man but he is not my son. Not the son I had. He is another. And he is little in his mind, and I feel protective towards him, but I cannot save him myself, I need to rely on the only One who can. When Sam (the nurse) asked what year it was, Adam didn’t know. He said, “let’s try another, what month is it?” Silence. The next was, “who is our President?” I still hadn’t said anything, as I like to wait to see if I might be surprised one day. I finally explained to the nurse that he did not know those things and didn’t retain them if told.

Adam is still congested. I am concerned for Pneumonia as he is not getting deep breaths, so appreciate prayers for that. His voice is not back, although he doesn’t speak a lot anyways. The next part is hard for me. Adam has been restrained. He has a drain, and 3 abdominal incisions. They can’t risk something happening to them. Although I’ve explained, he does not retain information very long, if at all. And yet I know he does not like it, and has expressed his displeasure by trying to pinch with his fingers if you hold his hand.

Yesterday when the nurses finished their ministrations to him, they left us alone. Adam tried to say something, but he has a tendency to run his words together which make it more difficult. And since the tube down his throat, with a voice like a hoarse whisper, it’s even more difficult for me to distinguish what he’s trying to say. So I asked him to speak more loudly and distinctly. To try to slow down. So he said clearly, “I want to be good.” My heart broke a little (or a lot actually), later I succumbed to much tears, I was devastated. I didn’t really know if he was speaking to the immediate situation (or as a whole). I told him he was good because of Jesus. And he had done nothing wrong, that he was a good boy. And that his nurse had just referred to him as a sweet boy. Then he raised his hand (which was higher than I realized he could do with restraints), so I asked him what he was doing. He answered again clearly, “I am reaching for your hand.” Tears again (which I withheld and buried inside and turned my thoughts elsewhere). Later that evening, I thought to how he kept telling each staff member, “I love you.” And when there were two, he would say, “I love you,” turn to the other and repeat, “I love you.” Now this time at home I didn’t hold back my tears. It made me wonder if he was hoping they might free him.

So pray for heart too, as I know this is necessary, but hard. I’ve spoken to nurse and dietician so far, they are planning (hopefully when surgeon will call back) to start doing some swallow tests and see what he can eat or drink (and when).

For those who think I am strong. I share this so you will understand that when we are weak, He is strong. It’s nothing special in me. I need His Word (so my faith is strengthened). I need the prayers of the saints to carry me along. I need to talk to the Lord about everything (cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you). I need to remember and trust in Him for everything, leaning on Him and not my understanding (Prov 3:5-6), makes it easier to make it through each day. Pray for the small and the big things. He cares for all.

I owe many thanks to the Lord for His years of putting up with me, loving me, and welcoming His prodigal home. Thanks for a husband who has taken on a large family and is steady in supporting me in these times. And thank the Lord for my wonderful children, who know Him, love Him and hopefully will learn to walk with Him more and more each day as they get into His Word. They support me with love and prayer every day. And I thank God so much for the body of Christ as I see others praying for me. One who recently lost her own daughter. Another a husband. Another, two children. Those suffering without power. Those in states of severe lawlessness from their leaders (which in turn emboldens the followers to violence). I hurt for them all, yet they uphold you in prayer. I thank God for the saints, for the faithful pastors who love and treasure God’s Word and take teaching very seriously. You know who you are, and I send my love to you all and your families, may God bless you.

Thank you all for your faithfulness in holding us up. Remember our friends across the world in these storms and power outages. Remember our suffering brethren in this and other nations. Remember to pray for our leaders. Remember to pray for those trying to uphold the law. And pray for those who oppose them in lawlessness.

Love in Christ, Holly, Jason and Adam

PS: (if you want to leave a reply/comment, scroll to bottom of page). Please note that all comments are pending until I come in and approve (I have had many comments that are not so nice, some vile, some false doctrine, so I had to change the setting to pending until I could see it.)