Since I am Dying…

A letter to my family

Ps 18-28-29TroopWallKobyThere’s a few things I want to tell different ones I love since I am dying.  I won’t name names of each one of you, because the glory is not in the person, but the way God works in others through our lives.  I can see this is going to be long, so I will probably do a separate one for my children, my family, my friends, even those who have become my enemies. That is, Lord willing.

My family, well my children are first.  They all have different things in them I love. All mom’s know, children are just our heart.  They can make it swell with joy, and they can puncture it with pain.  We fear for them, pray for them, and try to raise them up in the way they should go.  But we fail at times, some of us more than others.

Sometimes one will say, “Mom, I know I am your favorite”.   I repeat as always – “I have no favorites” (and I don’t).  I admit I admire different traits in each one, smiling as I see some of their father in them, my best friend ever in life, (whom I will reunite with soon).

One child, I worry for in one area, and hope and pray I will see him return to God and be a man of God like I prayed for when he was a little boy.  Another, I pray will grow up and yet not lose his charm, nor allow his charm to make him a dishonest man, but an encouragement to others in the Lord.  I pray he will gain wisdom and discernment and a selflessness that esteems others better than himself.  Another son I figure will one day invent something like Flubber, and yet I pray he will focus his intense desire on how all things work, to an intense thirst for how things of the Lord works.  Yet another — he is kind and loyal, and maybe too sensitive, yet I pray he won’t lose those things, or let them be diverted in the wrong areas.  I sure hope this translates to the important things in His life.  My two step-sons, I pray will come to know Christ one day, and grow in fellowship with Him.  I pray this for all my children.  I worry for all my children, because I feel I have failed in so many things over so many years with them.

My one desire is for them is not what most parents might wish — (for them to be happy).  I do wish for that, but more than that, Ips 63-3-4LovingkindnessLiftupmyhands want them to truly know what it means to rejoice in the Lord always.  I pray each and every one will not waste the time that I have in my life, and be ashamed at the judgment seat of Christ.   Do all things through Him and for Him, because of His great love for us.  To do it without complaining and murmuring, and submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.  I pray they will learn how to humble themselves under His mighty hand (1 Pet 5). Prove all things by the truth of God’s Word (1 Thess 5:21).  That they will grow in His wisdom and continue in sound doctrine.  Praying they will all learn to contend for the faith once delivered (Jude 3).  I pray they will not be naïve, gullible, or easily fooled.  That they will obey test the spirits, and search the Scriptures to see if these things are really true (1 John 4:1; Acts 17:11).

My beloved children, my reward, my heart — don’t listen to others who won’t correct you with the Word of God.  Who will point you to things of this world vs. point you to Christ.  Be kind to them, pray for them, but don’t allow them to influence you.  There are those who are family, or friends, or even enemies who will try to convince you what you are doing is wrong.  Pray for all things.  Pray and acknowledge Him in each decision.  Trust Him, lean on Him and not your own understanding (Pr 3:5-6).  Seek His will for your life.  John 7:17 says if we seek to do His will, we will know if the doctrine is of Him.  This is true, this is not about being right, but doing right in God’s sight. (Perhaps you might remember me saying that once or twice, I hope…)

His Word is truth, we have no right to play fast and loose with it.  We are told He looks upon the one with a contrite heart, who trembles at His Word (Isaiah 66:2).  This is a matter of life and death.  In all things, seek to answer with sound speech that cannot be condemned (Titus 2), be sure that your are in the strong meat of His Word so you can discern between good and evil (Heb 5:12-14).  Do you know just being undiscerning is one of the sins listed in Romans 1 as being worthy of death?   Of course all sins are, but do not be unwise in this world, be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove.

If I die before the little ones grow up

pr16-9heartplansLorddirectsPlease — Grow up the young ones for me, whether mine, or yours, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  This doesn’t take great strength, it takes obedience to be thinking on His Word day and night, (Ps 1:2), to have respect for His Word (Is 66:2), to study with God’s approval in mind, no other man (2 Tim 2:15), to search it for the truth (Acts 17:11), to take heed to it and hide it in your heart so you will not sin against Him (Ps 119:9-11).  Love it and treasure it (Ps 119:140, 162).  It will give you light for direction, and bring light into your life (Ps 119:105, 130).  Be a workman that won’t be ashamed.  Study and read every day.  Please do a better job than I did.

Be very careful who you take teaching from.  The Word warns us there will be many deceivers and many deceived.  This is not a few my precious loved ones — but many.

When you stand for the truth, don’t listen to condescending remarks or rebuffs of ‘Nobody’s perfect’, or ‘we can’t nitpick about every little detail’ or other such similar comments.  Doctrine is paramount to not being deceived and to others coming to know Christ.   There is a reason for the multitude of warnings.  Paul warns Timothy to take heed to the doctrine, saving both himself and his hearers (1 Tim 4:16).  From what?  He is already saved as in eternal life, but Paul through the Holy Spirit is warning them so they will be saved from consequences they will suffer if they do not take heed to the doctrine.  This can cost not just us but others.

What does the gospel say?  The Gospel is declared (laid out) in 1 Cor 15 as the gospel that every apostle preached, as the one they all believed, received, were saved by and stood in.  It is all Christ. HE died for YOUR sins.  HE was buried in YOUR place.   HE rose again and YOU will too.  He had the power to take back up His life again, this proved He was God.  He alone has the victory over death.  He proved that He was the prophesied Messiah, the Anointed and Sent One (as the Scriptures said).

Daughters, stay strong in the Lord.  Remember what is precious or of great pricebaygifgilltiergreerhallow97 in His sight (1 Pet 3:3-4).  I’ll take an aside here to get in on the AKJV and the other versions.  You know I prefer the KJV and literal versions, but trust mostly the KJV knowing some of the limitations, continue to remember to study.  Online lexicons will help you with the Greek or Hebrew root words, but be careful of their leanings doctrinally speaking.  But the AKJV in the passage speaks of a woman, yet speaks of the hidden ‘man’ of the heart.  That confused me, but it continues to say, ‘which is not corruptible’, the one who dwells in us (Rom 8:9 and Eph 3:17) is the Word we were born again by (1 Pet 1:23) and He is not corruptible, the new man, the new creature.  We still sin and will sin until we die.  But what will help you sin less, is to spend time with the One who paid for your sins, let Him wash your feet with His Word.  Confess your sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, this is fellowship with Him and also with others in the body…. (1 John 1).    Keep short accounts with the Lord, or the weight of your sins and guilt will build up on top of you as you hide from Him.  It will affect others too in our testimony.  Keep short accounts with each other, with your husbands (those of you who are married) and with your children.

Don’t let days go by (as I did) without teaching your children in His Word, praying with them.  Those who are not married, do not let men rule you when you are not theirs.  Pick men who have the Lord first in their lives.  Choose only solid believers to date.  And make it dating, not courting.  In other words, that is backwards to what some men teach.  Do not be kissing and hugging and being affectionate, find out what these men are like.  Spend time talking with them as I did your father.  Do you pray with them?  Do you read the Word with them?  Is the church you attend with them sound?  Or are you just ignoring these things for romance?  Please don’t get caught up in that trap.   Seek His kingdom and His righteousness first.  Let Him add after that, the things He would have you to have.  Don’t be afraid to be alone, it’s not a bad thing, we’re never alone when we have the Lord.  Too many people get divorced, God hates divorce.  Make sure you look for morals, and a believer who is walking worthy.  Dating is not for converting the non-believer.  Do not be unequally yoked with a non-believer.  Dating is as time spent with friends getting to know one another.

The same goes for you boys, but you have more of a responsibility in dating and eventually marriage.  You are not to let things get out of hand.  Stay in the light.  Don’t put yourself in positions where you would behave inappropriately.  Always be a gentleman, remember, that young lady belongs to the Lord, anything you do to her, you have done unto Him.  No small thing.  You are to lead a wife in the ways of the Lord.  That means you have to have the obedience and self-motivation to study His Word, to hide it in your heart so you won’t sin against Him.  We are here today, gone tomorrow.  But eternity is forever.  What you do now, matters for rewards, and you do not want to be ashamed at His coming because you have spent time doing for yourself, and have not put Him first.  He died for you.  Don’t you ever forget that great love.  He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.  Don’t pick a non-believer to date. And just because one is a believer, doesn’t necessarily make them right for you.  Make wise choices by praying for all things.

Pr 16-23-24All of you, when you study His Word, do it in context, find out what is ahead of it, and behind it.  Ask questions.  What does this speak to, who does it speak to (where, why, when & how), and check out the meanings of words.    Go to the cross references…. STUDY!  This is important!  It is His living and powerful Word (Heb 4:12), don’t take it lightly, His Word is life.


Unfortunately, many men out there are corrupting even the meanings of certain words like “repent”, (making it mean ‘turn from sin’) or suggest every time ‘salvation’ is used it speaks to eternal life. No, the word salvation is deliverance, and being saved from something.  So check things in context, look up the root word etymology, see what it says.    Be careful of most things ‘reformed’ or ‘Calvinist’ or ‘Lordship’, flee!  Defend the gospel, men are out there, and believers can have their minds corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ (2 Cor 11:3-4), by men who look like ministers of righteousness (keep reading 2 Cor 11), by false prophets wearing sheep’s clothing doing wonderful works (Matt 7:15-23).

So please, STUDY HIS WORD.  Ask Him to help you, trust Him to do it, but Study the Word knowing that you may not add works to the gospel or you have sadly allowed the enemy to get you preaching another gospel, a powerless one.  Keeping the gospel simple is very important, and that we use the Word, not men’s wisdom of words, so we don’t accidentally make the cross of Christ of none effect.

For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.  1 Cor. 1:17

Please go to this link, to find out ‘wisdom of words’ we should not use in sharing the gospel.

The Gospel

A prayer will not save you, turning from sin in order to be saved is adding a work to the gospel and will not save.  (See Jonah 3:10 for turning from evil being a WORK in God’s sight.  It is a good one, but still a work.)  Titus 3:4-7 tells us it is not by works of righteousness that we were saved…. But is followed up in vs. 8 to urge those of us who have been saved, to do good works, there is a reason.  It is beneficial for others, and for the testimony of the Lord in our lives.  But when we share the gospel (GOOD NEWS), be very sure it was the one once delivered.

Don’t let people put meanings to words that aren’t there.  When repent was used, consider what they were being told to change their mind about.  When repent is not used, consider (as in Paul and Silas and the jailer), he was asking them what he needed to do in order to be saved. “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ” and of course they expounded the Word further to them and they were saved.  Philip and the Eunuch in Acts 8 is one example.  The Eunuch was reading Isaiah 53, and Philip expounded to him that Isaiah 53 was about Jesus Christ, and he believed with all his heart, that Jesus Christ was the Savior, the one spoken of in the OT (read Isaiah 53, you will see Jesus Christ and Him crucified for our sins).

Know someone’s gospel before you take any teaching from them.  Look carefully at their statement of faith and check it against the Word. These are perilous times.  If they seem irritated or condescending because you are asking questions, red flag… See what their manner of speech is; does it contain grace and salt (Col 4:5-6) to all?

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.  Pray for all things!  If someone uses the Word correctly, if they teach it rightly, it should not bring fear into your lives, but it should settle on you in the manner of the rain and snow from heaven.  It will accomplish something in you, the Bible says it will bring forth and bud.  It will either give you food to eat, or some seed to sow with someone else.  If this is not accomplished in someone’s teaching, likely you are in the wrong place (see Is 55:10-11).

Stay humble, remember God resists the proud.

Ask Him to humble you or keep you humble no matter what.   I know we all have a tendency to be strong, and we think we can take down the lion, but remember also that a soft answer turns away wrath. That it’s good to submit to others. There is a time for everything, there is a time for a sharp rebuke (look these things up in the Word), there is a time to weep with someone who weeps, there is time to wash the feet of the saints (by encouraging with His Word), and to feed and tend the sheep if you love Jesus.  Never accuse someone without careful examination of their doctrine, and as you know, I do this by their own words, held up to the light of God’s Word.  Don’t accept accusations back, without being treated in the same manner.  Which is, they should take your words and rightly correct you with the Word of God.  If not, there is time to shake the dust off your feet, of ones who will not hear.  Do it prayerfully, and with His approval in mind always.

Avoid men who accuse others of being false converts.

They use no Biblical premise, (they will act as if they have backing with Scripture, but they will use verses out of context.  They will use passages while people were still under the law, to try to bring you under the law).  The only way to judge one’s salvation is for them to ask themselves if they have believed God’s Testimony of His Son (1 John 5:9-13).  Fruit Inspecting is not it. (From a friend Preston Greene)

These false teachers use no TRUE gospel to give these poor ‘false converts’ a way to be saved.   They delight in their accusations. They give them only their legalistic and works added gospel which is powerless to save.  They SAY grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, yet turn around and say something completely different in their sneaky and convoluted teachings. These are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

I have to ask your forgiveness for exposing you to Ray Comfort, Living Waters, and Kirk Cameron all those years ago.  I am so sorry for making you sit through “Hell’s best kept secret“.  I think a couple of you were wiser than I was, when you suggested it didn’t sound quite right.  You were right!

Or having to come back to explain to you all, that it wasn’t asking Jesus into your heart that saved you, but believing upon Him as your Savior.  But you all told me that you already knew that.    Remember when one of you left a service with her husband, never to go back because the pastor mentioned he was a neo-Calvinist?  That day warmed my heart.  I pray you and your husband will continue in discernment and not allow men and teachings to be unchecked.  We are to prove all things, we are to search the Scriptures, this is NOBLE, and if they suggest otherwise, then they have something to hide, or they are naïve, and do not know the Scriptures.  Press forward in prayer.

You are all funny.

You all have a great sense of humor, and kind too for the most part. 🙂  We haveme-girlsThanksgiving2014
the one(s) who cracks herself up, the other who makes other’s laugh, the one that makes people smile, the one that makes people happy, but that speaks to all of you actually.

Keep on laughing (about good things).  It’s good medicine for the heart the Bible tells us.  Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come.  But PLEASE don’t allow others to dictate what you look like, dress like, in your peer group.  Don’t let bad company or communications corrupt good morals.   The Lord is there for us if we will draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.  Don’t be stubborn, don’t close your ears to wise counsel, remember what your dad always said from a few verses in Proverbs.  “In the multitude of counsel there is safety” (and victory).   And remember what I have suggested a few times, we need to be careful of the multitude of our own words, remembering the Bible says, “sin is not lacking”.  So choose your words, with His Word in mind. Don’t let time pass by without making things right with others if it is possible.  Being out of fellowship with the Lord and others is miserable.

You might remember what your dad had on the white board shortly before he went to be with the Lord.

Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.  Proverbs 17:1

All of you think on what the Lord says about not being unequally yoked (those of you who are unmarried). Don’t be in a hurry to settle down if you have not already, same goes for the sons.  It’s not just whether someone states they are a ‘Christian’ but whether they have commended themselves to you by their pattern, speech, example and walk.  Trust and pray for the Lord to bring you someone but only if He wills.  And trust the outcome will be the best one possible for the long run.  For those married, please put each other first.  Please don’t let me or any other person come before your mate in marriage.  They are now your family first, and after God, your mate, and then your children.  Remember that order, God set it up for our good and for our safety and security. Too many divorces — don’t let the sun go down on your anger.  We’re feisty women, and yet remember this — Dad was not perfect, nor I.  But somehow, dad had a way of loving me, even in the good, the bad, and the ugly.  He could laugh at my surliness, and caress my fuzzy morning hair.  He could joke in love about my snoring, and show me the love of Christ.  Some of you were too young to realize the depth of my fatigue,  my responsibilities to dad and you all.  To support you not only financially, but to take care of dad medically and to make sure you were all provided for.

Maybe you remember this particular sweet act.  One night when I was dog-tired, dadvictory fresh out of a bath with sopping wet hair, he blew-dried my hair with his own sick and tired arms.  Oh dear children — that kind of love, I pray that you boys can show your wives, the love that Christ showed for the church, He gave Himself for us.

To my daughters I pray you will only have men that will love you in the same way.  Do not settle for less, you will regret it.  And maybe if you have children, they too might be affected terribly.  As you all know, dad and I both had children from our other marriage.  Oh the sadness and pain you bring into a child’s life in divorce.  Tears…for the three boys who have been affected.  I pray you all (the ones that don’t know Him), come to know the Lord before it’s too late, and there are no more chances).  I pray that the ones that might have gone off the track, will turn back and let the Lord through time in prayer and His Word, begin to wash and cleanse your life.  Dad always had a sense of humor, pick mates with the same.  Don’t wait son…don’t delay daughter.
This life here is but a vapor, we don’t have much time and we have to remind ourselves of that. The Bible says to teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom (Ps 90:12).  We’d like to stay in our little cocoon and wish for love, and children and maybe grandchildren Lord willing, and a nice home to call our own.   I so wanted to be with you dad well into old age, but the Lord knows best and I trust Him.  He gave me your dad, and when your dad died, the angels of the Lord swept Him away.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.  All the good in life, all the things we are sometimes blessed with, also can at times lead us away from the Lord, it can distract us.  And these are all from Him, the comforts and blessings He has actually given us, but we forget sometimes to be thankful, or sometimes circumstances of living in a fallen world happen.  Be thankful for today. Praise Him name.  The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever.   Don’t ever forget to look around and see all the marvelous works He has done.  His tender mercies are all over His works.   But don’t take them for granted, we are not promised tomorrow, so remember to be thankful today.

Forgive me for my many shortcomings.  Maybe the Lord will grant me more time with you, maybe I will live longer than you might wish for J

But we all are dying, and tonight or today, or an hour from now, or a few minutes from now, could be our last breath on this earth.  I don’t know when I’m dying.  But I know I am, as we all are.   You could die before me (I sure hope not).  John warned his brethren in the Lord, at the end of the book of 1 John, “little children, keep yourselves from idols”.  Don’t let anything in your life go before Him.

As an anorexic loses a taste for food, so is it with a person who allows their Bible to grow dusty.  They lose a hunger for His Word.  As a dying person who does not desire to drink water, does not thirst, so does one who doesn’t spend time with the Lord (the Living Water).  Apart from Christ, we can do nothing.  If we don’t abide in His Word, we cannot be His disciples (which means pupils or students.  Don’t waste your talents or gifts God has given you.  Don’t let life and even good things distract you like Martha in the story of Luke 10:38-42.  Please, spend time with Jesus, hearing His Words.  One thing is needed, and is the good part, and will NEVER be taken from you.

Your dad…


I am so sorry you lost your father, seems I have tried to be both mother and father, and not accomplished what I wished I had, in fact, I ended up crashing physically.  So if I could teach you anything from that, lean on the Lord more, trust in Him, let His power work, and don’t try to control everything, or you will find yourselves losing the battle faster.

If I could have stopped your dad from dying, I would have — I prayed, I cried, but the Lord still had a plan that was above my understanding.  And so it is in life, we never know when we will die.  It is appointed to each man, to die and then the judgment.  One thing we have to keep first and foremost in our minds.  It’s not all about us.  Our life is not our own.  The Lord blesses us with good things, but good things come to an end and we grieve, but the Lord comforts us.

We will make enemies for speaking the truth.  Pray for them.  We will lose friends, pray for them.  Some will spitefully use us.  Keep praying.  Show them love.

Love does not mean to let error or sin in your life.  Bad company corrupts good morals. I used to think that meant that you shouldn’t be around worldly people.  Well you sure shouldn’t love the world and worldly people can corrupt us if we subject ourselves too much to certain things or to their counsel.  (Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly-Psalm 1:1a).

But we don’t judge the world (see the end of 1 Cor. 5), and yet we do judge within the church. The church is other Christians. So it is the people who are within the church that we have to make judgments regarding.  Doctrine has got to be first and foremost.  A wolf will tear you up.  No matter how sheep-like they look. So again, be careful to test the spirits, get into the Word and check out everything.

Some are foolish sheep who are immature and will be blown about by every wind of doctrine.  Don’t let them lead you.  They may bite you too if you tell them about the wolf.  Try to stay calm in spite of what they might say, speak with a true soft answer.  And be patient in the manner of 2 Tim 2:23-26, we might help recover some, who have fallen into the snare of the enemy (yes, speaking to believers).  Our manner of speech matters as whether they might be given a change of mind, so speak with wisdom, and the law of kindness on your tongue.  It is hard, there is times where one is so difficult, they wear you completely down.  You know, you have seen it in my life I’m sure.  I am not perfect in these areas. I am wanting you to be better, exhorting you with His Word so you might grow stronger in Him.

Know that I love you, and will see you again.  There are many good people that I know the Lord will send to help you when I die.  I pray you will all learn to trust the Lord in all things. Pray for wisdom.  Have faith, it is by faith we please Him.  Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word (Rom 10:17) so keep reading it always.  Remember, speak it to others. God’s Word will not return void.  The more you know, the more you will be able to answer.  (See Is 55:10-11, Pr 22;17-21, 1 Pet 3:15).  Sorry I was always so tired.  Seemed like my body couldn’t keep up with my mind, or maybe the grief of losing dad.    In the process, you lost a lot of me back then.  I have disappointed many with my lack of strength, but I thank God in my weakness, He is made strong.

Please continue to witness to my unsaved friends and yours too. You have seen some come to the Lord, please keep answering questions, you need to be ready with an answer, and if you don’t have it, don’t pretend you do, but go search for the truth, and keep searching till you find it.   His Word is great treasure (Ps 119:140, 162).  Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be also.  Luke 12:34

Friends — You need good Christian friends. 

There is a friend that is closer than a brother, and that friend should be Jesus.  Pray tops 119-63 find other good Christian friends.  Pray that you recognize and avoid the holier-than-thou legalistic people who judge others based on their appearance and not with a righteous judgment (John 7:24).   Pray for them, but steer clear.   We want to show the same mercy we were shown, yet it doesn’t mean we overlook sexual sin, drunkenness, etc. with those who profess Christ, we are to expel them from among us (1 Corinthians ).   A little leaven (which is sin in this instance) should be removed so it doesn’t affect others.   It is important to find like-minded believers, pray for that, I have been blessed immensely.  Some have become friends through struggle with accepting me speaking about certain teachers, but what blessings they have been as I have seen them bless others, and grow in wisdom and knowledge of the Lord.  We’ve cried tears together, been attacked together, and some have been marked as ‘false teachers’ (as I have also).  Jesus said we would be hated.  Please know it will be true, but even more so as you grow closer to Him and speak His truth.  Not all will hate you, but remember, some of your enemies are going to become your friends.  Some of my friends who were non-believers, who mocked me, or were sick of hearing me talk, came to the Lord (like Jason).  Then there were the others who came to the Lord — late wages (Matt 20:1-16), Harry, Nancy, Avis, and even the other Harry Jordan at the rest home grandpa was at.  Who knows who else when you guys came and handed out Bibles and Bible verse coins and were kind to these lonely elderly people.  You never know what you will see in the harvest, keep praying.

But here is something you must know.  If you wait, if you think that it’s a tomorrow venture, you are so wrong and will regret it.  You don’t wait for the wind or the weather to be just right, for if you do, you will never plant, and never see anything harvested (Ecc 11:4).  Jesus said the fields were white for the harvest, and to pray for laborers for the harvest, and so we should love others, and want them to be with the Lord.

You have tender hearts, each one of you that know the Lord, keep them that way, do not let them grow hard through the deceitfulness of sin (Heb 3:13).  There are many consequences for sin in a believer’s life.  Here are some I’d like to mention that are the worst.

  • Loss of fellowship with God. We don’t lose our relationship (we are a child of God), but it’s as the story of the prodigal son, we’re miserable, we’ve blown our inheritance, we have no family or friends or food or love in our lives.  Don’t let that happen. But if it does, He is there with compassion, to run and receive you and embrace your neck as any father (or mother) with a wayward child who has come home.
  • Loss of a happy life. We may think we are happy, but later we find out, and grieve the wasted time.
  • Loss of other’s lives. Who did we affect in either our bad witness, or missing witness?  Will they not come to know Him because of us?  Nothing like hearing an older Jewish woman like Avis exclaiming “I believe! I believe! I believe! ”  All because I shared some Scriptures with her and a little kindness and love.  And now I believe I will see her one day.
  • Loss of fellowship with other believers. We need other believers, not haughty Christians, but genuine believers, who will encourage with THE Word, with prayer, with love and kindness.  They pray for us, they pray for our family. Supporting us in sorrow.  Uplifting us.
  • Loss of assurance of our position in Him (falling from our steadfastness). Maybe not all people lose their assurance of being or shall I say ‘feeling’ saved, but when we fall from grace, and are out of fellowship with the Lord we are easier prey for the enemy.  We believe lies more readily because we are no longer in the strong meat of His Word. Nor are we in fellowship with Him.  We can get in this bad pattern of thinking we can try to do better, that we can clean ourselves up before we can go back.  It doesn’t work.  Go to Him instantly, don’t make promises, just ask Him to help you do what is right, to help you desire what is right.  Confess your sins.  Trust He is instantly faithful to forgive (send it away) and cleanse us (in our flesh) from all unrighteousness.  Try to cooperate with His help by obeying to read His Word and staying in communication with the One who gave His life for you (John 15:13).  Let His Word “clean the inside of the cup”.
  • You can lose your physical health (1 Cor 11:30), but don’t automatically assume that as the cause…. Oh the people that would ask what dad had done to ‘get’ his disease…
  • You can possibly lose your physical life (see the adulterer in 1 Cor 5)
  • You can lose rewards in heaven (see 1 Cor 3). This may not seem important, but children, this is eternity we are building on right now. Don’t take rewards lightly.  This is the judgment seat of Christ, the Bema seat.  This is not regarding salvation, but you don’t want all your rewards burnt up.

There are more things about this on my Eternal Security blog here.

Ask Christ for opportunities to share about Him.  Do for others with a cheerful heart and with the right motives.  Keep your ‘alms’ to yourself, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.   What you do in work, should be done as unto the Lord.  Do all things as unto the Lord, ask Him to help.  Talk to Him all day.  He loves us more than anyone on this earth, and He knows better than anyone how unlovable we really are, but loves us all the same. Just like dad was with me, just way better.  He is perfect and gives perfect gifts (James 1:17-18).

Since I am dying, I wanted to share these things with you.  Like I said, I don’t know when, but I know I pray for these things for you.  I want to be here for you, be stronger, teach my grandchildren (once I have one) about the Lord.  I want to see you grow in Him too.  And I wanted you to know how much I love you even if I didn’t do my best to show you in tangible ways.  But the Lord loves you far more than anyone.  Remember that.

Love you all very much, Mom

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned— (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law.  Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.  But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man’s offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many.  And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification.  For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)   Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.  For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. Romans 5:12-19

9 Responses to “Since I am Dying…

  • Kimberrly
    9 years ago

    sniff sniff sniff…can’t stop weeping… that was YUMMY!!

    • <3 Kimberrly, Praying that some might hear…

      • Kimberrly
        9 years ago

        don’t worry love… that would melt the toughest ear wax! 😉 <3 God Bless you for this… still warms my heart thinking upon it… and I believe it will for a lifetime!!!

  • Thank you for this wonderful heartfelt message! I could ditto this Holly.
    I am in the same place you are. God will accomplish what He has set out to do.
    I could echo this writing!! I love you precious sister. Hugs!!!

    • Love you too Patti, praying for all of our family, each one having different needs, in different places, we ache as mothers, they may not know, but we do.

  • “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;” (2 Corinthians 3:5) <3

    • Amen Jackie, beautiful verse… and completely true, I actually marvel that I could ever be used, I pray I can be more useful as time goes by.

  • Holly my Sister thank you for sharing this Touching, full of Truth, heartfelt Love, an eye opener and that was just the tip of the ice! What a testimony for Christ. A life style pleasing to the Lord! Only because of His GRACE! All the Glory belongs to You oh Lord! Nothing can touch the Love a Mother has for her Children!
    Holly not only left intructions, but included the original manual ( THE BIBLE )

    Love you my sweet Sister in Christ! ????
    Philemon 1:4
    I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers,

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