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MY OLDEST SON ADAM WAS A PASSENGER IN A SERIOUS MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT ON THE LATE NIGHT OF 8-19-2015. HE HAS A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY.  THIS IS THE PLACE FOR UPDATES.

NEWEST UPDATES WILL BE ON TOP – Thank you all for your Bible verses, and your posts and comments.  I read each one, they strengthen me and give me joy and comfort. 

If for some reason you want to access older posts, you can find them here.

ORIGINAL POST FOR ADAM HERE AT THIS LINK

CONTINUATION HERE

MORE HERE

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: and there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.  And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.  Luke 18:1-5

Update 6-1-2017

A lot has happened since the last update, I apologize for being so slack.  Adam’s single room in the new facility did not last long, but we were grateful for the time we did have.   They have been pretty quick to respond here on doctor’s appointments, at least in relationship to Solterra.  So a few weeks or so seems like a short time compared to never.

Yesterday a dentist came in — a first in all the time we have been in facilities (and asked for one over and over and over again).  We even said we’d pay for transport, or whatever it took, but we always had to wait for a doctor’s order.  Turned out that Adam (at the end of Solterra) didn’t have a doctor.  One doctor said Adam had Optum and he didn’t take it, so he couldn’t help us. The other said Adam didn’t have Optum and that was all he took and neither would take care of him.  No one could seem to ‘fix that’ no matter who we spoke too.    Not really surprised the facility was shut down by the state, but sad for all those we came to know and care for there.

One of our dear friends Zeman, an older gentleman who knew my parents (from his work at Christian Care) and also with Adam in rehab, became sick and went home and died a few weeks later.  We never saw him again or even knew that he was gravely ill.   He was so strong for his age, and in such good shape.  Last time I saw him he hugged me and told me he was sorry (regarding my father’s death) and we chatted together.   But I am at least comforted, I know Zeman is with the Lord and my father and countless others because he believed.   We never know when our time is.   But I was blessed to have known Zeman while on this earth and he was good to minister to Adam.   We’ll especially miss him. (Makes me think on Don Moen’s song, “If you could see me now” and also Mercy Me’s “I can only Imagine” (the first time I heard Adam singing words.)

Adam is now in a semi-private room, we have had a couple mishaps, some a little worrisome, and some misunderstandings (such as with assisted feeding or toileting, etc.) but we are working those things out, their unit coordinator seems helpful so far.

Adam is getting Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy.   I am in a state of awe for that, but grateful for the time being, seems like each place it doesn’t last long.  But they all say he is improving and getting stronger (Let’s hope they keep saying that, our experience has been they stop therapy after a short time).

Please also continue to pray for the volunteers, for all their needs to be met, for others to minister to them and help them with any of their financial needs or health/emotional/physical, etc..  Some have sacrificed much to be with him.

They are also teaching him to eat by himself, very difficult with little eyesight and choking, but we will see how that goes.  One that was with him said it reminded her of Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan 🙂  We have to find humor in these things.    One time alone someone came in at night after dinner, and saw Adam sitting there alone with jello in his socks and shoes, wasn’t sure what they were thinking about letting him eat jello by himself lol.  But we’re trying to be thankful for the good things, and let the Lord handle anything that is not in our control.  If it’s important, surely we’re being vigilant, but trying to be wise.

Adam still needs an appointment with an Opthamologist regarding his strabismus and his eyesight, so please be praying for that.  Hopefully one day he’ll get back with the chiropractor, I think that will add to his care.  Of course that is another thing insurance doesn’t pay for, but we’ve seen benefit from so we do it anyways along with other things.

We’re also giving him what Amber has laughingly nicknamed the ‘blob’. It’s a concoction that I think I could make a million dollars with 🙂  It’s a mixture of cayenne, turmeric, coconut oil, Ceylon Cinnamon, Desert honey, cayenne, vinegar and garlic, along with dark cocoa powder.  This creates a very glossy, interesting blob that takes it’s own shape, (I paid my two boys to try it first — you know the Life cereal commercial, “Give it to Mikey, he’ll eat ANYTHING”.  Well evidently my other boys won’t eat ANYTHING — they gave me my money back lol!  Adam loves it however, so this is great, because to get the supplementation would have been difficult. We also give him Alaskan fish oil along with some krill and believe we’re seeing some differences, but documenting in case it might help someone else later on.

On the negative side.  We think we know the reason why this has happened – (fear and instability during transfers after toileting (won’t go into detail), but the last couple of days Adam has bitten a person…  One yesterday, he bit a caregiver on the shoulder while he was somewhat falling forward (the one CNA lost her grasp and he fell forward in a sort of ‘lean’ towards my friend and when he hit her shoulder he bit).  Again I believe it’s fear because he loves her.  Today he bit a CNA (she said not hard) on her back, and again it was when he was leaning/falling forwards.

I received a call from the physicians assistant who I couldn’t quite understand.  At first she said what I thought sounded like “Adam beat the staff”.   I asked, “He beat the staff?” She responded, “yes, he beat the staff”, so I told her I didn’t quite like that terminology. (Adam has been known to pat people too hard), but to call it beating seemed a little like inappropriate terminology.   When I said that, she corrected me (sounded a little frustrated), “No! He beat with his mouth”… OH…. He BIT someone?  (I then thought she was recounting the day before, but unfortunately not).  This PA wants him to have a psych eval.  I think most know the code words there and the implications that go along with it.   I told her what I felt the common denominator was (feeling of falling while being wiped while on your toes and being unstable and afraid).   She didn’t seem terribly interested in what I was saying as she repeated to me wanting to have a psychiatrist evaluate him and probably give him anti-depressants.  I told them they could evaluate him with me there, but I wasn’t going to say o.k. to meds without going through that and making an informed decision.  I then asked her to picture herself being almost blind, with people doing things without telling you first.  Coming at you to make you stand off the toilet, then having you stand (more likened to hovering on your tiptoes) and then feeling like your falling forward (he cannot put his feet flat).  And on top of that without real warning, have someone touch you in the crotch area.  I asked her what she would feel like, and what would her reaction be as just a normal person (I think you would jump or yell or worse).  I hope and pray she considered what I said as Adam is not just normal, he is special and suffering from a TBI and can’t express what he’s feeling well.

He does seem to have more activities there, the one thing (oddly) we have to keep him from is ‘Bible study’ which one of the residents plays a sermon from a preacher she likes.  I attended one and the ‘preacher’ was a mixed bag of using the Mess-Age (new age ‘bible’) and also the “New Living Translation” (a terrible paraphrase) which uses the terminology ‘turn from sin’ or ‘repent from sin’ in order to be saved (False and impossible).   A honest person has to say good luck with that.  A Pharisee will say, “I thank God I’m not like those other sinners” (Luke 18).

I actually was shocked at this very harsh and condemning ‘sermon’ for his gospel.  I am not saying don’t call sin sin, but he was telling them if you don’t STOP _______________ and you don’t STOP __________________ then you’re going to hell for all eternity (nothing about the truth — that the only thing could save you was believing on Jesus Christ as your Savior*).

I was curious if this preacher really believed he had stopped ALL his sins, because the Bible clearly says sin is transgression of the law.    And we are also told in the Bible, break just ONE and you break them ALL.  So this preacher was a hypocrite and did not know the gospel, nor did he realize one sin, or one type of sin is the same as far as keeping unbelievers from God.

Adam was getting visibly upset just listening to this ‘preacher’.   I told him, “We know this is not the good news, not the truth (Adam was shaking his head in agreement, ‘No’).   I continued,  “this man is a false teacher, he is deceived and deceiving others.  We will be leaving, but give me a couple of minutes to just note some more things,” (basically of how many ways he was going to go into error).  We listened long enough to witness more of his false gospel and left.  One of the staff members seemed shocked at his message too, holding her hand over her face.

Pray for these people here, I am going to speak to them about maybe providing some large print Bibles and probably a gospel flyer with verses marked.  An older gentleman asked if he could get a Bible and was shushed.  Here someone wants a Bible, and they are not being given the Word but instead judgmental and condemning words of a preacher the Bible says is a ravening wolf that we need to warn of (Dream City church – Phoenix first assembly).  Oddly these people do a lot of ‘good’ across the valley in donated bikes and children’s programs at Christmas, yet inevitably they will be the ones trying to justify themselves to God when they die, “Lord Lord….we did many WONDERFUL WORKS ..in your name.”  (This will shock some that I named the church, but how will you know to avoid these if people don’t let you know?)

Jesus never denies they did GOOD WORKS.  He will tell them to depart, that He never KNEW them (Matt 7).  Jesus knows His sheep (John 10), and He knows those who have not believed upon Him ALONE as their Savior. With their mouth they say they believe on Him, but they ADD to His Word by saying to receive the free gift of eternal life you MUST turn from all your sins, (or repent from your sins), or even people like Hollywood minister Ray Comfort who tells you to STOP SINNING (or be really sorry for your sins), etc.  All untrue.

Repent DOES NOT = Repent FROM SIN

Repent = Change your mind/thought/thinking

Change your mind or thinking about what?  You need to know you and everyone else in this world has sinned.

Think you are a good person?  His Word tells us no one is good enough to face God (and live) because we are all sinners, and the penalty/wages for that sin is death.  God is Holy and He is perfect and we aren’t. Not one lie will enter His kingdom of heaven, so if you have ever been deceitful, wanted something someone else had, or looked at another person with lust — your end is death.

God doesn’t want that, which is why He sent His Son.  He created you to commune with Him, but your sin is separating you from Him and will cause your death.  You have a free will to do as you wish.  If you reject Him in unbelief, there will be no second decisions after that.

But — there is good news!   The but of Romans 6:23 is that the GIFT of God is ETERNAL LIFE through Jesus Christ our Lord.  How long do you think eternal is?  As soon as you believe, you possess it, and the Bible tells us we can KNOW this (1 John 5:9-13).  This ‘preacher’ thinks you can lose or walk away from the free gift of eternal life (again false).

Jesus is Lord (God).  The Greek word for Lord literally means God the Messiah. Jesus is God. He proved this by willingly giving His life for you and for me, and by taking His life back up again when He rose again in three days.

Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.  Jesus 10:17-18

Only God is Savior.    If you have always believed you can somehow contribute (by turning from sin) as part of your salvation, you have not received eternal life yet.  If you do not believe that Jesus is God, then you have not been given the free gift of eternal life yet.    Jesus asked, “Whom do men say that I (the Son of man) am?”and the disciples answered what some in the group of Pharisees and rulers thought. But then He asked Peter, “Who do you say I am?”  And Simon Peter answered and said, ‘Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God”.

Jesus means Jehovah saves or Jehovah is salvation, (Emmanuel-God among us). Only Jehovah is Savior (Isaiah 43:10-11, the Hebrew reads Jehovah).  Christ means ‘the anointed One’ or ‘Messiah’, Lord means God, the Messiah.

So this is what Jesus had to say about Himself in John 6 after forgiving the woman the Pharisees drug out to be stoned (Only God can forgive sin).

  • Jesus said about Himself, I AM the Light of the World.  (This is claiming to be God, only the Creator is the Light of the World.
  • Jesus told the Pharisees He could bear record of Himself (you need two witnesses in OT law in order for something to be true).  Jesus is God, therefore there is no sin in Him, nor is He a man that He should lie.  He said His record was TRUE (and it was), because He is God.
  • He said if they knew His Father (God), they would know Him (claiming to be one with God).
  • Jesus told them they were from this world, and that HE was not of this world (claiming again to have come from above).

Either Jesus told the truth or He lied, and if He lied, He is not some ‘good man’ or a ‘good prophet’ because prophets aren’t wrong if they are a true prophet of God.  Good men don’t lie and cause all their friends to die for their name sake.

And here is the important part that Jesus finished with.

I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.  

In vs 24.  The ‘he’ was not in the original manuscript, so it should read, if you believe not that I AM you shall die in your sins.    The “I AM” is a term the Jews would have been familiar with IF they knew the Scriptures vs. searching them but not believing His testimony (John 5:37-43).  If they respected and trembled at God’s Word (Isaiah 66:2; Psalm 119:140,162; Isaiah 66:2), they would have recognized the I AM as God.  In Exodus God spoke to Moses from the burning bush (which didn’t extinguish), and told Moses to tell the children of Israel His name when they ask who sent him:

I AM THAT I AM”.

In vs. 27-29 Jesus said, “When ye have lifted up the Son of man, (raised Him up on the cross) then shall ye know that I AM he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things. And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.”   When He said this, many believed on Him.

Jesus is the One prophesied of.   He had over 300 fulfilled prophecies centuries in advance that can not be plausibly denied.  Can you just ignore that?

He is Immanuel (God with us) born of a virgin (Is 7:14).  Why is it significant He was born of a virgin?  Because He didn’t have the sin nature of Adam (who brought sin into the world).  Because of that sin, death passed upon all men, because all have sinned.  But Jesus came and brought a free gift by the grace of God.  The gift of righteousness which gives us eternal life is through belief upon Him alone. (Rom 5:14-21),  Those of us who believe upon Jesus (in Christ) we will be made alive.  

For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. 1 Cor 15:22.

Jesus is the Lamb of God, the perfect sacrifice, Who would bear the sins of the world (Isaiah 53) — willingly.

He is THE Prophet that God would raise up.   Moses warned Israel they had better listen to or God would require it of them (Deut 18:18-19).  We see most of them have rejected Him. This too was prophesied many times.  There will be a day where some of them will look upon the One they have pierced and mourn… this is in their Tanakh.  Do they wonder when they have pierced God (Zech 12:10)?  Actually most Jews do not know their Scriptures, but just listen to a man.  Most are not familiar with Daniel’s prophecy of the Messiah, with Isaiah’s prophecy or Zechariah along with others, or their Rabbi has spiritualized it to mean something else.  They still will answer, being a son of Abraham will not count if you do not believe on Jesus as the Messiah (Savior) of the World.

He is our High Priest.  The soul that sins will die (the Word of God says), so we will all die — that much is certain.  We will either die and go into eternity to be with God forever, or we will die and go into judgment for all eternity (Heb 9:27).

He died in our place.  Jesus died on that cross for you, for me, for all our sins, past, present and future.  We weren’t even born yet, but He took every sin we ever have committed, and ever will commit, He saw and bore them all.

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.  For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.  Rom 5:6-8

All this was prophesied centuries and centuries in advance.  God laid on Him the sins of us ALL (Isaiah 53).  He did it willingly (John 10:18-19) and in great love for us (John 15:13).  All so that He could be our righteousness.  We can never be good, but the Son can step in front of us, and say, “this little one believed on me, they are innocent”.

In God’s eyes, when we believe, we are white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).  Clothed in His Garment of Salvation (Is 61:10-11).  Perfected forever by His sacrifice (Heb 10:10,14).  You may have priest still standing daily offering for sin (as in the Mass/see Hebrews 10:10-14 for the Bible’s Word on this.)   He says His Sacrifice is the only perfect, acceptable and final payment, which has dealt with sin’s consequence forever — there remains no other sacrifice for sin (but His).  So if your priest is offering up things for you for forgiveness and/or a part in salvation, and you place your faith there, you are mistaken, it is of no benefit, in fact it will do you great harm in the end.

We become flesh of His flesh.  When we believe upon Him, the Holy Spirit baptizes us into the body of Christ.  We are sealed until the day of redemption (1 Cor 12:13; Eph 4:4-6; 4:30).  We’ll still sin, but if we will continue in His Word, we will be His disciples (Jn 8:31-32).

Don’t be deceived by these works-based preachers.  No amount of turning from sin, going to church, making promises to amend your ways, or being sorry for what you’ve done, etc., can be part of you becoming His.  None of those things (although they might be good things) can be added to a gift freely given.  God tells you it is free, not of works lest any of us should boast about what we’ve done (Romans 5-6:23; Eph 2:8-9; Rom 4:4-6; Rom 11:6).  Titus 3:4-7 tells us none of those good works can help save us.

God loves us — He loves the world (John 3:16), He is a God of love (1 John 3:16), He has even died for those false preachers (2 Pet 2:1-2).  He came to die for sinners.  So He died for every one who has ever lived and who will ever come into the world.  The only difference is, will you BELIEVE upon Him for the free gift of eternal life?

But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy He saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; which He shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;  that being justified by His grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

If you have believed on Him as your Savior, you have already been given the free gift of eternal life.  You have already been passed from death unto life, and are in the spiritual Kingdom of Jesus Christ (John 5:24; Col 1:13).  All of you trespasses were blotted out at the cross (Col 2:13-15), so when you sin, talk to Him about it, and look ahead.

I’m sorry this is so long.  But if even one day, someone reads this and believes, everything we have gone through will have been worth it.

God bless you who read here and pray for us.

Update 4-17-2017

Yesterday was a nice time with family, dinner with the kids — missing Adam though, and a couple more of my children who live out of town.  Has some good time re-reading the accounts of the resurrection, and the many infallible proofs of it, although to this day (as the Scriptures say), the Jewish people commonly report His body was stolen away by His disciples (Matt 28).

10 Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me.

11 Now when they were going, behold, some of the watch came into the city, and shewed unto the chief priests all the things that were done.

12 And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large money unto the soldiers,

13 Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept.

14 And if this come to the governor’s ears, we will persuade him, and secure you.

15 So they took the money, and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among the Jews until this day.

But Christ is risen from the dead, and for those of us who believe upon Him, we know that we too will rise to everlasting life with Him.

Right now the facility we are in, is the best we have been in to date other than Barrows.  I confess, we are not getting too elated, but staying thankful for little things (that might seem like you should be able to take for granted).  But we are not at all taking for granted the courteous manner of most of the staff.   We are thankful for the decent food he is being served.  Many times we’d have to bring in our own, or bring side dishes, fruit etc.   In the end, we would get things that were inedible, and that was on half a plate, with dry lettuce on the other half.    We know others have it way worse, but I confess, it is a relief to have real steamed vegetables underneath the lid.  Also, even though it is not ‘new’, it is quite clean, you do not smell what you do at most of these places.  To be blessed to have his own bathroom, and even bumpers on his bed (so he won’t fall out) is huge.  I could list a lot more, but we sincerely thank Him for His provision.  It is a little surreal, but the Lord knew we needed this respite desperately.  Please pray for the therapies next.  We know he needs to settle in and he seems to be doing well there.   Please pray for all of our strength, continue to pray for one of his main caregivers, for her health and provision in her life.  We love you all, and thank you for your faithfulness.

Update 4-12-2017

Ps 18-28-29TroopWallKobyYesterday Adam moved into his new facility.  We have much hope as we continue to walk forward trusting in Him.  Today was another Lucy episode.  I guess I’ll just be real honest so you can get the picture.

When I arrived I found Adam in the sitting room across from the nurse’s station.  Two nurses introduced me, both very pleasant.  I asked where his room was and they directed me to the end of the hallway.  We went in for awhile, and we chatted.  I looked around at his room and noticed we had gotten a dresser (Jason said they hadn’t gotten one in his room yet).   Anyhow, I can’t believe it, and I don’t hold my breath for how long we’ll be allowed to stay in a single, but we have a single room — WITH a mini refrigerator AND microwave!!!   The refrigerator was empty and I opened the nightstand drawers which were still empty.   I thought it might be time to check Adam’s bathroom.

WOW!  His very own toilet and sink.  UNREAL!  I was ecstatic.  It was a bit dirty though, and so I figured while we waited for lunch I’d clean it.  The toilet, well, I have to say I was a little dismayed.  But I had brought clorox wipes with me, so in Lucy-fashion, I began to plunge in, quickly pulling them out of the container, holding my breath, hot water running (so I could wash my hands in-between clorox flushes).   It took several to clean the inside of the bowl, the water was low so I could clean (no, there was no toilet brush — note to self, buy one)…  And so I would clean, wipe, gag, and wash hands in between.  Last was the base and toilet seat top and bottom, sparkling clean!  (Yikes).  So all that was left was to do the floor.  There were some ‘spots’ let’s just say on the floor.

I had the door propped because Adam was there, but I know the next thing that’s going to happen if I’m not smart is I’m going to fall on my behind.  So I hold onto the door, throw some Clorox wipes on the ground and begin skating — back and forth, all around until I felt some pressure and some knocking and someone pulling on the door.  She peeked in and said “What are you doing”?  (Obviously she worked there), so I explained that I was Adam’s mom and I wanted to clean up the bathroom (following that remark up quickly with the fact I didn’t want to bother anyone).

She didn’t seem terribly impressed as she informed me, “This is not Adam’s Room”.   I about died on the spot, but covered it up by saying, “WHAT???? Why didn’t you stop me before I cleaned the whole restroom?”   (She was not amused, she just pointed out his room, and we went over there).   Another person came in and she had already heard and thought it was hysterical — in fact I had done such a good job, she told housekeeping they didn’t have to clean it that day lol!   I am pretty sure I heard muffled chuckles as I went home today 🙂

Thank you for all your prayers, seriously, we sure need support at all times and are thankful for you all.   Adam is extremely tired, he is probably adjusting and so we are looking forward to what is ahead.   His one caregiver (my good friend) is out of the hospital, thank you for praying for her, for her strength and peace while she is down.  God bless and keep you all.

lucy


 

joelAdamThanksgiving16.jpg

My son-in-law Joel with Adam

God is a righteous judge, He cares about our troubles, He is a Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with ALL of our grief.  Let’s try to continue to go to Him for everything, sometimes we even need help with that, prayer…

I was out of town when I was informed late at night that Adam’s facility was being shut down by the state.  I think back to the forced move a little over a year ago from Barrows. I sure didn’t want to go back to a place like Adam had been in, and even though this place was better in some ways then the first SNF, there were so many ways it was just horrible.   But we made do, we had friends there, some who came and went we loved, and some who just didn’t care.

We ‘believe’ we have found a place for Adam.  Jason went out and looked the following morning.  I came back kind of exhausted from my trip.  (Please pray for the elderly woman I went to see, I was able to clearly share the gospel with her, and she agreed with me on each point, so pray that she did believe.  Her husband didn’t want to ‘hear’, but he wanted to speak about any religious artifact, shroud of Turin, anything that he felt was ‘real’ in ‘religion’ etc.  I listened and prayed.  Please also pray for him if he comes to mind.)

I started praying when I heard, not a thing I could do until my flight the next day and the ps 56-8-11long drive home (or at least long for me).  Jason says this place is better (I didn’t doubt that most had to be better), and yet I pray that this is the place for Adam, one where he will not get screaming roommates, or try to have infectious patients placed with him.

Please also pray for the staff at the other place who are losing their jobs, and will not know what to do.  Pray for the other patients, to go where there may be a laborer.  Pray that we might have more opportunity to share the love of Christ, (if He can love me, He can and does love everyone else).  Pray for opportunity, and that Adam may flourish in this place.    Please especially pray for our help, our friends, who tirelessly are with Adam day and night.  One who is in the cardiac unit as we speak, I ask a special prayer for her, God knows who she is.

We love and appreciate you all, and want to ask (if just one of you) the most important question.  Are you sure, very certain if you died this moment, you know where you will be?  It happens in the blink of an eye.  We don’t want to lose you, (Please read here if you’d like to know more)

Or read here if you’d like to see the note I wrote my husband Jason years before when he did not believe (Dear Jason-changed to John).