Prayer for Holly's Son Adam (Part 2).


If for some reason you want to access older posts, you can find them here.



NEWEST UPDATES WILL BE ON TOP – Thank you all for your Bible verses, and your posts and comments.  I read each one, they strengthen me and give me joy and comfort. 

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: and there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.  And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.  Luke 18:1-5

God is a righteous judge, He cares about our troubles, He is a Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with our grief.  Let’s try to continue to go to Him for everything.

Update 3-30-2016

Please pray about the forced move today. They (Barrows) were unreal in their responses, they can and will force the move. The case manager tried to say I turned down the two places; the place by me (I did not, I informed her that they turned him down due to safety issues and the fact that he was still needing ‘acute rehab’.) I told her that I had that in writing from them.

I brought up another SNF being upset at not being correctly informed as to his situation (they turned him down, and let one of our friends/caregivers know of their unhappiness regarding the misinformation) . When I brought up the last facility being wrongly informed about seat belt restraints (he fell out of the wheelchair there with someone in the room) and the bed against the wall, (with railings up),  Tammy, the case manager for Barrows said it was a ‘moot point’, she didn’t even attempt to deny it or explain it.

When I asked for her supervisor to call, (I asked her to conference in Jason since my throat was sore, from anesthesia and camera down my throat yesterday late afternoon) and I had already been talking to several people.  She refused to conference him in, she just said “No, I’m not going to do it”.  I tried to talk to her and she said right away, “If this is about the restraints….” so I tried to explain of the four types of restraints they are currently using on the wheel chair with him (tilt back, chest strap, seat belt and belt alarm), she wouldn’t hear.  I told her of the bed by the wall, rail up, wheelchair in front of the side with locks on (placed there by staff) but she talked over me. I asked if she would mind hearing me out, and she said there was no purpose to listen, the decision had been made and he WOULD be moved between 2-3 pm today.
There must be a reason for this, so I just have to have faith that the Lord is directing our steps. It is the last place I would have wanted him in, and was the first place I rejected.  The second was out in Peoria and over 30 miles from my home.  Please pray for the best situation possible since they are in the process of transporting him as we speak. No matter where we go we know that people need the Lord there.
I want you all to know, I am not pretending to be somebody, I am just human, moreso tha many of you I am sure.  I am just as scared, just as sad, just as concerned as any normal person.  I trust His Word no matter my weakness, He is with us and He is our strength, no matter what we see, or what we feel, He will not leave us or forsake us.

Update 3-29-2016

Just going to briefly share, Adam drew this picture over the weekend with Amber.  Picking every color and just relaxing as he drew, both said and wrote, “That’s Beautiful”.  I think so too.  The other writing was done by Adam in Speech Therapy.



Update 3-28-2016

Amber found a facility, and it seemed hopeful.  There were some issues that maybe if we can get those adjusted in the future, this could be a place we might be able to consider.  Currently, it just is not the place for him at the level of care he needs.  We found that they had been misinformed on his needed level of care.  So were two other facilities, but they had assessed him in person and knew he was not ready to leave.

Pray for this not to become unpleasant with them, we are not trying to do anything that is improper, we want him to move forward though and it will require supervision and some safety measures that this facility cannot provide.    Pray for his continued improvement and our patience in this whole matter.  Pray also that Barrows will be understanding in this.  In His love…

Update 3-24-2016

Barrows is still saying Adam is ready for discharge, papers ready.  They are now saying that he is suddenly not progressing although we have notated every day a majority of the therapists saying that he was improving, progressing and even ‘surprising them’.  That also includes nurses and nurse’s assistants, who have seen him speak more, sing (shocked two) and other new things.

On the 14th, they gave him a laxative, it was supposed to be a one time help, and unfortunately somehow was overlooked and over the week plus that followed he got little sleep day or night.   We figured out the problem and insisted they called the doctor to discontinue it, because it was repeated one more time after we discovered it.  Other than that, he has been doing well and slowly getting stronger.   Insurance however is a different story.  Evidently there is some invisible line (that they are all aware of) that once you pass, it is time for you to leave.  Problem seems to be, that everyone they want to send him to says he still needs to be here.

The Skilled Nursing Facility that Barrows suggested and I was basically settled on (near our house) today told us they could not take him, because he still needed ‘ACUTE REHAB’ and that they could not meet his needs safely.    They have suggested this is a Mercy Care/Altcs possible denial of payment issue.

I have contacted my Representative David Schweikert, and every skilled nursing near me, right now we are again not knowing what to do, in a state of flux, we so appreciate the prayer for us all.  Love, Holly and Adam

Update 3-22-2016

ps 126-5-6

Once again I was offered ‘help’, just not the kind of help I was looking for.

Options are not great for the next step but we trust God is directing our steps (Prov 3:5-6).

We have looked at several facilities, some absolutely dismal.

First we picked one that we were told was covered through Adam’s insurance.  It was the best and the closest to home. Then the Social worker at Barrows told us they did not take his insurance along with another in Paradise Valley (turned out not to be correct in PV, they just didn’t have a bed available.  An email to his insurance company and I found out the information I was given was incorrect).

We tried again, and got another possibility and are awaiting the answers there.  In the meantime, we were looking at a couple more facilities that now Barrow’s social services department says they ‘have no beds’ in their time frame (no answers from them as to when these places have beds, but not when they want us out — tomorrow).

I received a call from the neuropsych yesterday.  She asked me how I was doing considering ‘all I had been through’ (and she said she didn’t need to know).  I told her I was doing fine in the circumstances, and making some slow progress on finding him a place, but was hopeful.  In light of my response, I was mildly amused when once again she offered me the possibility of ’emotional support’.   (As some of you remember, she told a friend who is a volunteer caregiver, that she felt I needed emotional help which she could help provide.)  I did not get upset with her, I just shared with her that I did have a great emotional support system in the Lord, and my wonderful family and friends.  I explained that my emotions had to do with wanting the best for my loved one, as is only natural and normal (unless you are hard-hearted).    I told her my frustration was with the lack of information, available options for his future, and communication regarding those options (I filled her in with some general issues).  Basically when I was done going over those things that I felt they could do better for the next person, she nicely asked me if I would consider counseling.    I just shook my head and laughed quietly at the irony.  (Counseling  from them — for my frustration that stems from them (the lack of information, options and guidance on where to go next, and some mistakes I won’t share here).  The sheer time consumption that has been caused by the lack of help in this one department.  I’d like to know when she’d like me to pencil in that counseling appointment had I been willing to take her up on it 🙂

I did not get angry or even feel angry.  I wouldn’t have wasted more of our valuable time if I didn’t have hope that it might help the person behind me not get the same treatment.   I told her Barrows is excellent in so many departments, but for families who aren’t familiar with the maze of paperwork, or navigating that maze (how to find a facility, what type of facility to look for, as well as what kind of questions to ask, etc.) they feel as if they are the blind groping in the dark.  I suggested that they needed a little more strength in that department so that people wouldn’t be so stressed in being pushed to get out, yet not have an acceptable place to go.     After all that, her next suggestion was that I join a support group for caregivers there at Barrows.     (Wow, this could have been a good skit if it was not real life).  I let her know that from the beginning,  I was in several TBI support groups online, but once again shook my head at the comedy of everything I said just either ignored, deflected or distracted with useless offers of unneeded help, while our real needs were not addressed.

I told her the concerns of other patients I had spoken to regarding the same problem and my own concern of the one who is unequipped who will deal with this.  She again seemed unaffected by the information. So I finally told her I needed to go to attend to Adam (and I did), and hung up the phone still shaking my head.  I know the information is out there somewhere, it is hard to find the time when you have so many other obligations and not enough time in the day.  Time is the commodity being wasted here in a lot of these places. Re-organization of their information, their medical record’s department,  (they wouldn’t release to Social Security and never told me — I didn’t know for five or so weeks).  A FAQ readily available to help families know what they may need to ask.  More available options in their social services department in helping to facilitate a smoother discharge (i.e., a list of ALL the facilities that took his insurance, not just the ones that had immediate beds), all these and more could go a long way in this otherwise fine facility.

Please continue to pray we make the right decisions for the best in Adam’s care.  We sure appreciate you all.  Love in Him, Holly and Adam

Update 3-15-2016

praywithoutmom So sorry I don’t save my updates, and even though I haven’t felt much like writing or anything else, I did update, but it seems Wordpress wasn’t saving them (or at least the last two), so I must have reached my limit.

Today it seems the physician assistant came in and decided to remove Adam’s safety net from his wheel chair.  Yesterday the nurse moved his room around because he’s a fall risk and she only wanted one side for him to worry about for him to fall out of.  He just fell out of his chair a few weeks back when one turned their back on him for a few seconds. So we can’t understand why they would take this risk.  When asked, the nurse said I had been told (untrue, I wasn’t there today).

When I asked the person to relay to the nurse my concern, the nurse said she couldn’t put them back on for safety without the doctor’s orders.   The same nurse that moved the room because she was afraid for Adam to fall.  The same one present when he was almost dropped.  The same one seeing him instantly lean forward on the wheel chair, so the safety net (which I had just washed) stopped him while we were talking.

So please pray for Adam’s safety while we are not there.  Mostly we are with him, but what about the times we are not?   Please also pray for the things that they say without thought in front of Him.  Pray for his mind to be guarded.  The day before the nursing assistant almost dropped him a couple of times and hit him on his head turning him on the bed to dress him.  He was just too small to do these things by himself and Adam is not strong enough yet to help someone as slight as this young man was.

I know insurance presses to not pay, (although Mercy Care says they are not) and he is improving, but maybe not fast enough for how much time they want to spend.  The meeting we had with the Case Manager of Barrows and the Case Manager of Mercy Care, well, let’s just say although they met first in her office, not one of us (there were six caregivers present) got the same story from them, completely conflicting and we called them on it, and still have not had a satisfactory answer, or really any answer more than ‘here is the map to the medical records dept’.

We need a more long term facility, but not knowing where to go. The Mercy Care case manager gave us a list, so far two of them, they do not take their insurance.   I suspect it is the same with the other ones but will wait to hear instead of doing any more research.   How is it they don’t know their own providers?

We were given a set of places by Barrows Case Manager (only two) that are about 10 miles away from my house (a conflicting set to what Mercy Care gave us entirely) so we’re pretty confused about our options.

We’re in a state of flux, tired, and worn, yet not without hope.  We continue to see change, we just don’t know how to continue to get help as they seem done.  This situation is strange, to see them unwilling to continue, I guess I just don’t understand how the system works.  The Lord knows.

The neuropsych there suggested to one of my friends who was in the room with Adam, that I might need ’emotional help’ and she could probably help me there 🙂  There is no doubt, I am emotional, this is my son.  But I believe I will be found to be stable 🙂 There’s more, but I’ll just save it for now, because I truly have no desire to hurt her or anyone, just shaking my head at these things.  (If it wasn’t so unreal that a ‘professional’ would say something like that, it would almost be funny).

But, really, I do know that my help comes from the Lord, so I wish they would focus their attention on the one they currently have admitted, that is Adam of course.

Lord help our situation here with insurance and other things that You know of that we don’t seem to have much control over.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills,
from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord,
which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:
he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

Psalm 121:1-3

8 Responses to “Prayer for Holly's Son Adam (Part 2).

  • Holly, i am really sorry for all the runaround that you’re dealing with– it made me angry just reading about it. May God continue to give you strength as you deal with Adam’s caregivers and as you seek to find the best facility for him to be admitted to. You are definitely in my prayers, sister. Grace and peace to you.

    • Thank you Mark. It’s good to know the saints feel your pain and sorrows and are praying for you. Grace and peace to you dear friend.

  • Dear Holly, your difficult trial is so confusing, thank God He sees, He Knows. We pray for His intercession in Adam’s care and healing. Help him to improve Lord. Help Adam to see the need to try his best. We wonder if they made the downgrade of care purposely when the family was not there, I do anyway. Doing away with the safety net on his wheelchair makes NO sense. Changing his room around? Why. Without consent from family too. I don’t get it.
    Lord, we pray for these dear ones.
    We know You know we are but dust.
    Bless you with all His promises. May His words wash over you Holly.

    My flesh and my heart failith: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

    • Marcie, I believe they did make the downgrade purposely, and told his friend that the ‘mother knew and had been told’ (completely untrue). But as you say, the Lord knows — and just knowing you are praying is soothing. Reading the Scriptures people share here, and remembering the Lord is directing my steps, it all helps. I am tired, and yet He knows, and has things all worked out, even if it seems like chaos to me, the Lord is good, and it will be o.k. Love in Him <3

  • My dear precious Sister Holly, my heart and prayers are for you and your son Adam, with all the heartache and frustration going on, this fits side by side with the book of Job, I trust our dear, merciful Lord to grant you and Adam peace in the midst of the STORM, knowing God knows the end of the story here, that it was meant for good and not for evil. I don’t know when but I do know Jesus is coming soon to redeem us, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, it shall be all over and the work done, time to lay the crowns at his feet.

    Keep up the good fight, sweetie, Jesus is LORD, REMEMBER HE HAS said,” I can do all thing through Christ which strengthens me”

    In the love of Jesus,
    Your Sis Jackie

    • Thank you little sister and friend. I’m not suffering by any means what others have, but I am sure thankful in the things we suffer, He cares, He is a Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief… He will never leave us or forsake us and I am reminded of that constantly. Love you in Him <3

  • Holly, I am praying for both of you – specifically, that you will find the best place for Adam’s care.

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