Adam was a passenger in a serious motorcycle accident on the late night of 8-19-2015. He has a traumatic brain injury. This is the place for updates.
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NEWEST UPDATES WILL BE ON TOP – Thank you all for your Bible verses, and your posts and comments. I read each one, they strengthen me and give me joy and comfort.
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: and there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. Luke 18:1-5
God is a righteous judge, and so let’s continue to go to Him for everything.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, That the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 2 Corinthians 4:6
I am but a cracked vessel. I am reminded of a story I heard years ago which will be shared here about as well as I can recall. There was this poor woman who walked to get water by carrying the earthen vessels on a stick across her back. One was cracked and didn’t seem to make it worthwhile. But as she made this long trek each day, she began to see little flowers sprouting up alongside the way. They had been (and were continuing to be) nourished by the water coming from the cracked vessel. I pray somehow that will be something I can do through Christ. That you too might find strength and peace in Christ.
I wake up some days feeling more tired than when I went to sleep. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally… these are all my weak areas, and I am weak. I am reminded though of the treasure that is within us, Jesus Christ, who is our strength. His strength made perfect in our weakness.
I have no strength of my own, anything I have is because of the Lord Jesus Christ (that is, anything good), the rest is me.
I have more news today from one of Adam’s prior roommates. He went to be with the Lord a couple weeks ago, he was a sweet, caring man. Another friend I made at the other subacute facility also lost her husband, and one of the young nurses there too. I am in touch with all three, I won’t name them but ask that you say a prayer for them, for their comfort and healing in their sorrow. Please continue to pray for Chris and Cristina as they walk through this journey that they might also be strengthened, encouraged and renewed in this time.
Two nights ago, I decided to work with Adam on spelling as we waited for dinner. I looked around the room for words, and asked him to spell them. The words he spelled successfully were discharge, elephant, complex, beautiful, subacute, dinner, before, between, breakfast, wheelchair & mystery, there were more I could not remember. At dinner we spelled some more things and got to his dessert, which he really loved (kept grabbing for it). He had stopped showing interest in spelling, so seeing the motivation for his butterscotch squares, I asked him to spell butterscotch before the next bite. Lickety split the letters B-U-T-T-E-R-S-C-O-T-C-H flowed rapidly out of his mouth which was instantly opened for anticipation of his next bite, (simultaneously accompanied by a finger poke at the dessert followed by pointing to his already opened mouth). Usually I respond to hand prompts by telling him I don’t understand sign language and I make him speak out loud. But I had to laugh and capitulate, he deserved it.
After dinner, we went outside, and I looked around for some words to spell. I opened my lap top and went to look for the Readers Digest word vocabulary online. They had a link with words with multiple choice answers. Most he answered out loud with the correct definition, a few he picked the corresponding letter. These are the words he rightly defined.
We also try to read the Word with Adam every day. The speech therapist brought up a good idea regarding Proverbs and abstract thinking, so we went to Proverbs 18 and 19. In chapter 19 we discussed definition and spelling of integrity. Adam spelled it then on his own, he defined it to mean honesty and goodness. He correctly spelled more words from Pr. 19 — among them, abandon, nobility, favor, understanding, unpunished, witness, wisdom and luxury. I asked him to spell princes which I believe he heard as princess (which he spelled). Wonderful night, help me to be grateful for each day we have. We are attempting new things and working on thinking outside the box too. Amber started with things like drawing and painting which was not previously a like of his. These are things that build new neural pathways — Oh, I asked him what that was — and he thought for awhile and answered things we cannot see and cannot hear. I told him that was true, and explained how being in new situations and learning new things helped build new neural pathways. I explained a little about how the brain works to build new pathways when exposed to new things, so tomorrow I’ll teach him Japanese 🙂
I appreciate your prayers for all my family, that I keep balance with my loved ones, and keep all my priorities as straight as possible. Much love in Christ to you all.
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Eph 3:14-21
If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ, this is not about religion but about truth and is a matter of life and death. I would not be a friend if I did not tell you.
Many things have transpired since we have moved. We are settling in. With the Lord’s help I kind of decided I was going to do more moving and inspire him to do more moving and exercising along with helping him to stand. We’ve accomplished all those things, and he is working hard with me. He may do some crunches and then I ask if he wants to beat his record, he can do X amount. He does the X amount and a few more 🙂 He is talking more frequently and is going into his own world less. I work with him on pushing to stand up. He is trying so hard.
He continues to amaze me. Progress is both slow and rewarding. Yet we miss the big picture at times as we’re there daily and others who come less frequently see it differently.
Adam teased with me the other day, I have always joked with him about calling me mom in public. “Call me Holly not mom!” He’d tease back with “O.K. MOTHER”. I never cared, it was just a longstanding joke between us. One that I had repeated to him the night before when Amber and I were outside with him.
My friend was with him the next morning and she saw me pass by in the parking lot in the afternoon. She told him “your mom is here”, and then asked him if he knew my name. He told her Holly. And when I came into his room he said, “Hey Holly, how’s your day been going?” and grinned as if he had told the funniest joke.
Thank you all for your prayers. We are waiting on a referral to his physical therapist (amazing how insurance works). and also for an eye appointment. Adam has stopped tracking with his eyes, so please pray for that. On the up note, the place is older, seems a little understaffed, but the majority of the staff seem friendly enough. We continue to try to keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus. Looking for that perfect peace as we keep our mind stayed on Him because we trust in Him (Is 26:3).
I am sorry I have not updated yet. As usual, we are pretty tired in many ways, but thankful for His help. I thank you all also for your prayers. Adam is moved to a skilled nursing facility. I had chosen one near me, but they didn’t feel they could safely take care of him (two others turned him down also for that reason). He fell out of bed twice in the first three days. Thank the Lord he was not hurt, but evidently they too were not quite correctly informed about his needs either. The second time he made it across the safety mattress (on the floor) and was partway leaning on the wall giving them all thumbs up when they ran into his room.
He had a doctor’s long standing doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kwasnica. He was transported there, but we were told it had been canceled due to not having a ‘primary physician’ referral. So, Adam had an outing at any rate.
Adam was assessed at his current facility regarding some of the safety issues, falls and his dental and eyesight needs. Please keep praying for things to continue to move forward and for us all to be strengthened in all our ways.
Please pray about the forced move today. They (Barrows) were unreal in their responses, they can and will force the move. The case manager tried to say I turned down the two places; the place by me (I did not, I informed her that they turned him down due to safety issues and the fact that he was still needing ‘acute rehab’.) I told her that I had that in writing from them.
I referred to another SNF being upset at not being correctly informed as to his situation (they turned him down, and let one of our friends/caregivers know of their unhappiness regarding the misinformation) . When I brought up the last facility being wrongly informed about seat belt restraints (he fell out of the wheelchair there with someone in the room) and the bed against the wall, (with railings up), Tammy, the case manager for Barrows said it was a ‘moot point’, she didn’t even attempt to deny it or explain it.
Just going to briefly share, Adam drew this picture over the weekend with Amber. Picking every color and just relaxing as he drew, both said and wrote, “That’s Beautiful”. I think so too. The other writing was done by Adam in Speech Therapy.
Amber found a facility, and it seemed hopeful. There were some issues that maybe if we can get those adjusted in the future, this could be a place we might be able to consider. Currently, it just is not the place for him at the level of care he needs. We found that they had been misinformed on his needed level of care. So were two other facilities, but they had assessed him in person and knew he was not ready to leave.
Pray for this not to become unpleasant with them, we are not trying to do anything that is improper, we want him to move forward though and it will require supervision and some safety measures that this facility cannot provide. Pray for his continued improvement and our patience in this whole matter. Pray also that Barrows will be understanding in this. In His love…
Barrows is still saying Adam is ready for discharge, papers ready. They are now saying that he is suddenly not progressing although we have notated every day a majority of the therapists saying that he was improving, progressing and even ‘surprising them’. That also includes nurses and nurse’s assistants, who have seen him speak more, sing (shocked two) and other new things.
On the 14th, they gave him a laxative, it was supposed to be a one time help, and unfortunately somehow was overlooked and over the week plus that followed he got little sleep day or night. We figured out the problem and insisted they called the doctor to discontinue it, because it was repeated one more time after we discovered it. Other than that, he has been doing well and slowly getting stronger. Insurance however is a different story. Evidently there is some invisible line (that they are all aware of) that once you pass, it is time for you to leave. Problem seems to be, that everyone they want to send him to says he still needs to be here.
The Skilled Nursing Facility that Barrows suggested and I was basically settled on (near our house) today told us they could not take him, because he still needed ‘ACUTE REHAB’ and that they could not meet his needs safely. They have suggested this is a Mercy Care/Altcs possible denial of payment issue.
I have contacted my Representative David Schweikert, and every skilled nursing near me, right now we are again not knowing what to do, in a state of flux, we so appreciate the prayer for us all. Love, Holly and Adam
Once again I was offered ‘help’, just not the kind of help I was looking for.
Options are not great for the next step but we trust God is directing our steps (Prov 3:5-6).
We have looked at several facilities, some absolutely dismal.
First we picked one that we were told was covered through Adam’s insurance. It was the best and the closest to home. Then the Social worker at Barrows told us they did not take his insurance along with another in Paradise Valley (turned out not to be correct in PV, they just didn’t have a bed available. An email to his insurance company and I found out the information I was given was incorrect).
We tried again, and got another possibility and are awaiting the answers there. In the meantime, we were looking at a couple more facilities that now Barrow’s social services department says they ‘have no beds’ in their time frame (no answers from them as to when these places have beds, but not when they want us out — tomorrow).
I received a call from the neuropsych yesterday. She asked me how I was doing considering ‘all I had been through’ (and they said she didn’t need to know). I told her I was doing fine in the circumstances, and making some slow progress on finding him a place, but was hopeful. In light of my response, I was mildly amused when once again she offered me the possibility of ’emotional support’. (As some of you remember, she told a friend who is a volunteer caregiver, that she felt I needed emotional help which she could help provide – not as professional as I would have expected from them). I did not get upset with her, I just shared with her that I did have a great emotional support system in the Lord, and my wonderful family and friends. I explained that my emotions had to do with wanting the best for my loved one, as is only natural and normal (unless you are hard-hearted). I told her my frustration was with the lack of information, available options for his future, and communication regarding those options (I filled her in with some general issues). Basically when I was done going over those things that I felt they could do better for the next person, she nicely asked me if I would consider counseling. I just shook my head and laughed quietly at the irony. (Counseling from them — for my frustration that stems from them (the lack of information, options and guidance on where to go next, and some mistakes I won’t share here). The sheer time consumption that has been caused by the lack of help in this one department. I’d like to know when she’d like me to pencil in that counseling appointment had I been willing to take her up on it 🙂
I did not get angry or even feel angry. I wouldn’t have wasted more of our valuable time if I didn’t have hope that it might help the person behind me not get the same treatment. I told her Barrows is excellent in so many departments, but for families who aren’t familiar with the maze of paperwork, or navigating that maze (how to find a facility, what type of facility to look for, as well as what kind of questions to ask, etc.) they feel as if they are the blind groping in the dark. I suggested that they needed a little more strength in that department so that people wouldn’t be so stressed in being pushed to get out, yet not have an acceptable place to go. After all that, her next suggestion was that I join a support group for caregivers there at Barrows. (Wow, this could have been a good skit if it was not real life). I let her know that from the beginning, I was in several TBI support groups online, but once again shook my head at the comedy of everything I said just either ignored, deflected or distracted with useless offers of unneeded help, while our real needs were not addressed.
I told her the concerns of other patients I had spoken to regarding the same problem and my own concern of the one who is unequipped who will deal with this. She again seemed unaffected by the information. So I finally told her I needed to go to attend to Adam (and I did), and hung up the phone still shaking my head. I know the information is out there somewhere, it is hard to find the time when you have so many other obligations and not enough time in the day. Time is the commodity being wasted here in a lot of these places. Re-organization of their information, their medical record’s department, (they wouldn’t release to Social Security and never told me — I didn’t know for five or so weeks). A FAQ readily available to help families know what they may need to ask. More available options in their social services department in helping to facilitate a smoother discharge (i.e., a list of ALL the facilities that took his insurance, not just the ones that had immediate beds), all these and more could go a long way in this otherwise fine facility.
Please continue to pray we make the right decisions for the best in Adam’s care. We sure appreciate you all. Love in Him, Holly and Adam
So sorry I don’t save my updates, and even though I haven’t felt much like writing or anything else, I did update, but it seems WordPress wasn’t saving them (or at least the last two), so I must have reached my limit.
Today it seems the physician assistant came in and decided to remove Adam’s safety net from his wheel chair. Yesterday the nurse moved his room around because he’s a fall risk and she only wanted one side for him to worry about for him to fall out of. He just fell out of his chair a few weeks back when one turned their back on him for a few seconds. So we can’t understand why they would take this risk. When asked, the nurse said I had been told (untrue, I wasn’t there today).
When I asked the person to relay to the nurse my concern, the nurse said she couldn’t put them back on for safety without the doctor’s orders. The same nurse that moved the room because she was afraid for Adam to fall. The same one present when he was almost dropped. The same one seeing him instantly lean forward on the wheel chair, so the safety net (which I had just washed) stopped him while we were talking.
So please pray for Adam’s safety while we are not there. Mostly we are with him, but what about the times we are not? Please also pray for the things that they say without thought in front of Him. Pray for his mind to be guarded. The day before the nursing assistant almost dropped him a couple of times and hit him on his head turning him on the bed to dress him. He was just too small to do these things by himself and Adam is not strong enough yet to help someone as slight as this young man was.
I know insurance presses to not pay, (although Mercy Care says they are not) and he is improving, but maybe not fast enough for how much time they want to spend. The meeting we had with the Case Manager of Barrows and the Case Manager of Mercy Care, well, let’s just say although they met first in her office, not one of us (there were six caregivers present) got the same story from them, completely conflicting and we called them on it, and still have not had a satisfactory answer, or really any answer more than ‘here is the map to the medical records dept’.
We need a more long term facility, but not knowing where to go. The Mercy Care case manager gave us a list, so far two of them, they do not take their insurance. I suspect it is the same with the other ones but will wait to hear instead of doing any more research. How is it they don’t know their own providers?
We were given a set of places by Barrows Case Manager (only two) that are about 10 miles away from my house (a conflicting set to what Mercy Care gave us entirely) so we’re pretty confused about our options.
We’re in a state of flux, tired, and worn, yet not without hope. We continue to see change, we just don’t know how to continue to get help as they seem done. This situation is strange, to see them unwilling to continue, I guess I just don’t understand how the system works. The Lord knows.
The neuropsych there suggested to one of my friends who was in the room with Adam, that I might need ’emotional help’ and she could probably help me there 🙂 There is no doubt, I am emotional, this is my son. But I believe I will be found to be stable 🙂 There’s more, but I’ll just save it for now, because I truly have no desire to hurt her or anyone, just shaking my head at these things. (If it wasn’t so unreal that a ‘professional’ would say something like that, it would almost be funny).
But, really, I do know that my help comes from the Lord, so I wish they would focus their attention on the one they currently have admitted, that is Adam of course.
Lord help our situation here with insurance and other things that You know of that we don’t seem to have much control over.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills,
from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord,
which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:
he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
This is not as good of an update as I would wish. I can basically share this last week has not been very good. Physically, Adam is weaker and not as responsive. We are having difficulty getting the staff to hear, and even getting them to chart changes although we have asked. I talked to a Dr. Merkel today in tears, she said she would share my concerns with the staff tomorrow. But the other doctor left a message saying Adam is the best she has seen him since he’s been in. I don’t know what she is seeing, but it’s not what we are all seeing at all. We are very concerned at the changes, and can’t quite get staff to ‘hear’ and do anything, so we appreciate all your prayers. We are tired and discouraged, but we take it to the Lord in prayer. As the old hymn reminds us:
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
They switched Adam’s room two days ago. He is no longer directly across the nurse’s station in a small unit, but in a large hall. He cannot call for himself yet, pray, we are not getting near the help for any stands/transfers etc. Now three people, two nurses and a male nurse’s assistant together said they could not get Adam to stand for a transfer. In the other room, all were capable of doing it, except this same nurse’s assistant who is a very small man, probably only weighing about 120 lbs. So this is discouraging, and so please pray with us about this. Also about the change in medication, the side effects seem to be diminishing, but we are also not sure if the benefits of it are also lessening. Pray for wisdom there. We know the Lord will continue to direct our steps, pray that these obstacles do not encourage us, but that we will pray without ceasing.
(I always told Adam since he was a child not to write on himself.) I had prayed one night about a lot of the things I need to do, were upcoming to do, things I were forgetting that I so desperately needed to remember. One was praying for more things vs. worrying. The verse instantly came to mind. Pray without ceasing. I teased with the Lord, “I’ll probably forget that too”. I thought to myself, “write it on your arm, you won’t forget” (I was recalling the Lord’s Words to the Israelites when He told them not to forget His commandments).
So kind of in jest, yet in a genuine desire to remember something this important, I wrote it on my forearm. When I got to the hospital, and read it to Adam, he pointed to his wrist. I told him, “remember I told you never to write on yourself when you were a kid”? He nodded and pointed to his wrist again, so I asked, “do you just want ‘pray’ or ‘pray without ceasing’?
“Pray without ceasing”. So I wrote it on his wrist and he pointed upwards. I asked what it was he wanted, and he pointed to his wrist. I asked if he wanted an arrow on his wrist, he said he did. I asked him to point to which side, so with his seized up left arm, he pointed to the right side of the writing on his right wrist.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. Deut 6:4-9
Three people, two nurses and one nursing assistant were unable to transfer him today. They said he was drawing up his legs and not helping to stand. That he wasn’t strong enough and physical therapy needed to get him stronger for safe transfers. I agree, but will the doctor or the physical therapy team. Please pray that they will be able to get him strengthened enough to do what he needs to do to get home when the Lord is willing.
God is good to me, some of my first set of biopsies have come back negative. I guess I didn’t give much thought there, but I am thankful for His goodness to me. I am not really concerned with the second.
My daughter Greer is visiting from Durango, Co, and with her, my granddaughter Remi. It’s so nice to have a sweet smelling, determined, two and a half month old dictator that has the whole house running and dancing the jig to keep her happy. And we’re all happy as can be on our marionette strings! She came with us to go see Adam today, it was a nice visit as Adam tried to play with her, tickle her feet on his bead, she laughed a little. She was tired and fussy so playtime didn’t last long. But Adam was enamored, he smiled and said, “She’s terrible” and I laughed and said, “a regular little tyrant” 🙂 We had eaten and he began to stroke and rub my whole arm, it was very sweet. His sister went and got two shakes, a chocolate and an oreo, he opted for the oreo and some bites of the Jack in the Box famous taco 🙂 He seemed pretty darn happy afterwards. So were we. My two girls go back home tomorrow 😦 and Adam and all of us get back to business of getting Adam stronger. Love in Christ to you all ❤
That was the response that came from Adam’s mouth Sunday evening after dinner. Jason called, and since Adam was talkative, I thought to put him on speaker phone. There was a little confusion as to whether he was on speaker phone, then he asked Adam, “So howya doing Adam?” Dork was the response,but said with a grin on Adam’s face. It was not at all what I had expected. I had several rough days, both emotionally and with some medical things of my own. I got to giggling instantly and that elicited an animated “What??? What did I do Adam? I just ask you how you are doing and I’m a Dork???”
That made me laugh even harder and Adam’s grin widened, as he dug in a little deeper, (while Jason was still talking), “PLEASE (appropriate dramatic pause here), please, work harder at not being such a dork!”
So by then I’m in stitches, belly laughing, tears streaming down my face, fallen on the foot of his bead. And Adam is pretty pleased with himself still grinning and chuckling. Jason hasn’t really heard all the exchange but I fill him in, and Adam and I laugh some more at Jason’s expense…
I got home and wrote a long letter to Dr. Kwasnica pleading for more time at Barrows for Adam. I faxed it over on Sunday, and talked to her Monday at great length regarding some of his gains and some of his medical issues, possible interactions of Scripts, and obviously some things hadn’t been charted that she wasn’t aware of. She agreed once she heard more on how we feel he is just not ready to go without them yet. For now she is going to do a week more to first adjust his meds, and possibly look at a cast for the other foot. We talked also about the foot splints and the misfitting on the arm splint.
We ask you all to please continue in prayer for the right timing. Love in Christ.
We are praying that the doctor will see it beneficial for Adam to stay for more time. We had a meeting with the case manager, and the nurse case manager with Mercy Care. Please pray with us that (Lord willing) Adam will be granted more time. Enough time to be able to stand flat-footed, to transfer safely, to get a certain issue straightened out, (whether physical or prescription related), for him to be able to do more things for daily care for himself. The Lord knows what he needs, pray for that. Thank you all for standing with us in prayer, as we are tired, weary, sad, joyful, discouraged, encouraged, happy, angry, fearful but at peace at the same time because of the Lord and our trust in Him. He has never failed us yet. Pray for all those who tangibly support us with their help in his care. Pray for his caregivers. Again, we love you all.
It looks like they may be cutting Adam loose from Barrows shortly, which is hugely disappointing. All I can ask for is prayer for wisdom on decisions for all concerned. This is a very difficult road, one that is hard to stay on top of things and be sure that we understand all the nuances of what is available to us. The Lord always provides, and always helps.
For immediate needs, please pray that we might get the help we need, and Adam especially is able to stand on his feet flat for transfers. That the right decisions get made for the medicines he is on, and that he will continue moving forward with the Lord’s help in all things. Seems like a struggle in a dark, foggy valley where we can’t see very far ahead to keep from stumbling. We trust in the Lord, and yet we are more than human in our fears and our weaknesses. He tells us not to worry about tomorrow, and that sufficient for today is the trouble therein (boy is that ever true). We want to keep our eyes on Him and not look down at the stormy waters that threaten to drown us. For me as his mom, I cry inside for his pain, his sorrow and his own fears. I want to save him from those fears and hurts, and worry for the rest of my children. We walk by faith and not by sight, that is a truth I try to remind myself of. Please pray also for my mom’s strength as she has had to bear the burden of my dad with very little help from me at this time. Pray for her peace and comfort too as she has so much to deal with. His grace is more than sufficient…
We love and appreciate you all. In Christ, Holly
I drove down the road today, and like yesterday (and others), I reflected the loss of a part of my son. I don’t want to do that, but it seems inevitable that on the trip over, my mind will start to wander. I don’t know who exactly Adam is yet, or is becoming — as I’m discovering his highs and lows, new likes and dislikes. He’s a new Adam in so many ways, a new stage in his life. Like a 9th child for me. It is similar to when the kids were newborns and became an infant, then a toddler. You were joyous with the changes, but had a deep sense of strange loss too for your newborn you wouldn’t see again except in pictures. Tears flow sometimes when I drive as my sorrow and grief overwhelms me at times I can least expect. Sometimes I have to pray to keep clear vision so that I might pay attention to my driving. Sometimes, I feel in despair, like a walking robot repeating the day over and over. Other times I feel like I can’t stand to drive the trip one more time without screaming (today and yesterday). I almost don’t want to share this, but on the other hand, I want to be genuine too about our struggles. I can’t even imagine the feelings and emotions running through Adam’s head.
Adam has had some hard days in the last four or five days, we’re not exactly sure why. He has been stressed and possibly had some medication reactions, mixed with fatigue. But he seems to be settling down again. When he suffers, I do also, not knowing exactly what to do, struggling inside as I feel helpless to know what to do to help him, on the outside trying to show calm and strength for Adam’s sake, keeping a cheerful face, trying to maintain a sense of humor, trying hard to make him laugh. Yet it seems as if I fail in so many areas and disappoint so many people, even Adam. That is a hard thing, because there is only so much of me, and I can feel like I’m handling all of it poorly. I do thank, and am thankful for those who help us, or we would not have gotten through this.
The facility called about my dad last night, he was running a 101.5 temperature and shaking. Today they said it was a ‘touch of pneumonia’ and started him on antibiotics. My mom has chemo tomorrow, she is tired, we all are.
My trip today was another of not the best outlook in the world. I was trying to recall to mind the things that He has given me in order to be thankful for the good in my life. I struggled there, however, as it happened yesterday, besides my family and friends, of course the biggest is knowing He has saved me. That I will never be alone (not many people can say that). As I was thanking Him for so great a salvation, I drove past the same street yesterday that I have passed so many times. I saw the sign again, yet saw it for the first time.
I smiled as I turned and felt as if the Lord had just given me a boost of encouragement. A second thing I noticed as I drove past it again today, it that it is also a One Way sign. It has a ‘do not enter’ for those who would go the wrong way. I hope if you don’t know of His love, kindness and mercy for you, you might seek Him out. The Universe isn’t going to save you, nor Buddha, nor living your own way, good or not. Only Jesus Christ can save us, only He has had the victory over the sting of death (eternal).
It is not by any works, or righteousness (goodness) of our own, but because of His kindness, and by His MERCY that He has saved those of us who believe (Titus 3:4-7). There is only One Way Jesus said, and He is it (John 14:6). No matter how hard life can get, Jesus is there, the invitation is open, He does not want anyone to perish.
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely. Rev. 22:17
This past week, there has also been some times of laughter with Adam. Those moments are golden…Thank you all for your prayers, love and those of you who support us with your time. We love you.
I can share that today was a rough day, so please continue in prayer as we navigate through the waters with the Lord’s help.
I am continuing to trouble the Lord on Adam’s behalf, and thankful for those of you who persist in prayer with me. I am weak, but He is strong. I am under the weather, but trying to not succumb. Adam had botox shots this morning, in his left arm, and two lower left limbs in the back, which encompasses his calf and the outsides by his achilles tendon. This should enable some of the tonality (rigidity and stiffness) to relax so he is able to stand flat and maybe one day soon, Lord willing, he will stand by himself, and walk too. He is able to compute and add, and answer questions, sometimes he is distracted, or overloaded, but he is there. We appreciate you all always. You are our friends, we have come to love many of you deeply, our greatest desire, is if you should get in a serious accident like Adam, or have a sudden stroke or heart attack, even choke on food (as did Adam) and stop breathing, we want to know we will see you again…
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Prov 17:17
Time goes on. One day passes away, silently into the next. Events of the day seem to fade from my mind before I can put them here, but the moment is still somewhere in my memories. Yesterday after the main courses at dinner, Adam told me he didn’t like pears (when I made the mistake of asking). I teasingly stated, “Yes you do!” (That’s a no-no for TBI patients, you don’t tell them what they ‘used to like’ or what they ‘always liked to do’ or even “remember this?” But he had just ordered them himself the night before (when we filled out his menu with him). So I persisted when he responded with, “No, I don’t like pears”. I countered back in my best mom voice — “Yes, you DO like pears!”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do!”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes, Yes, Yes!”
“No, No, No!!!”
I got to laughing over the time of fun bantering between us, and finished with, “you’re a funny guy!” I gave him a couple sips of milk, and queried, “So can I eat your pears since you aren’t?”
“No I can’t eat your pears?”
“No!” (first finger held up pointing to the sky for emphasis in mock scolding)…
“Who’s going to eat them then?”
“What do you mean? You just told me a bunch of times you don’t like pears, so now you want them????”
“Yes”, (slow and deliberately) — “I want MY pears!”
I laughed and started feeding him HIS pears. He ate all 3 (they brought extra).
Later on I decided we’d do a manicure. I got everything out and and told him that if I hurt him to let me know. He said, “O.K.” and I told him to let me know by saying “OW!”
I started clipping and told him I was going to go and rinse the towel in hot water and when I came back, I took his hand to start again, and in a somewhat feigned and stilted manner, he said,“OW”! I started to tell him I hadn’t even touched him when he said, “Just kiddin'”…..
Today shortly after Sabine & I arrived, Adam was being readied for a shower. After he came out, the doctor came in his room as I was putting away clothes. Dr. Su consulted with his nurse, Adam (Sabine & I) regarding his tracheostomy. He told us it would be removed later in the day. I didn’t know we would be getting a second swift opinion. As we were waiting for the respiratory therapist, Dr. Hixson made that move for decannulation, performing the procedure with no sterilization, just one rapid and unstoppable move. The nurse came in to finish by bandaging the open area. (Shaking my head – lol, they better not charge us for that).
Anyhow, pray for patience — this boy is trying it. 🙂 His middle name is going to come out and get used shortly. The shower and the Benadryl for the itching, along with the self-removal of the trach had him settled down for an afternoon nap.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. By the way, they say the procedure Adam performed left him none the worse for wear and the wound looks good and should be closed up in a few days. He ate dinner and swallowed even better, and so I am encouraged…
It’s been one week and we’re settling into the routine of Barrows. After asking at Scottsdale Osborn, calling, visiting Barrows, getting names, calling my nurse and doctor friends to try to see if we could get him in, all the human effort didn’t really count for much. God’s timing works and is less stress. In fact stress free if I’d just remember to do my part and don’t push too hard, resting in Him. Hard as a mother to relax in these areas…
Adam is being put in the wheelchair more often (an ergonomic one) and yesterday he had his trach downsized to the smallest size, the next step (Lord willing) the trach will be GONE!
The attitude at Barrows is completely different. It’s so happy, positive, and upbeat. It was not quite that way at North Mountain. Some were great, some not so much. I didn’t have any choices with Adam since the original Plaza turned him down, with his needs there were only a couple alternatives, and one was horrific. So that was the much lesser of two evils left. There were some good people at North Mountain that I’ll miss. Especially Dr. Ibrahim, I never did find out where and why he disappeared, I can only assume it was because he stood with us for Adam’s care and against some of the things they were doing. I pray for the patients and staff there. They say they have a great patient to staff ratio, however, it took such a long time for things to get done there, patients just do not have enough care in certain areas. It seems to be ridiculous to run out
of sheets, catheters, tooth care etc., but they did. But we’re looking forward now. This passage is not really in context, but it reminded me of this as I said we were looking forward.
Adam is getting approximately 3 hours a day of physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. Recreational therapy takes them on outings. His first outing was an unnamed coffee joint at the hospital 🙂
We’ve come a long ways since the early days of being at the hospital overnight, and going home to get cleaned up, take an hour nap, and head back. Always afraid if we left, if it might be the last time we’d see him. Now, we know we also have a long road ahead of us. Fortunately I have friends and loved ones who are in this with us for the long haul. The Lord is good to all of us (Ps 107).
The LORD is so great, and makes known to us His mighty acts and power. He is gracious, full of compassion, slow to anger, and of great mercy. The LORD is good to all, His tender mercies are over all His works. The Lord upholds us when we fall, and is there to help us up when we are down. We wait upon Him to ‘give us our meat in due season’. He is righteous and Holy in everything He does. He is merciful and near to all of us who call on Him in truth (Ps 145), so please keep calling on Him on our behalf.
Also, I went with my mom and dad to his dialysis doctor for team meeting with social workers and some office staff. Made a call later to his facility regarding some things they are not doing (like putting on his VPAP-Adapt machine at night. The doctor wrote 5 scripts, not arguing for one thing we asked, he listened, found it reasonable, and wrote it out. The others were friendly, smiling and took quite a bit of time with us. It was a meeting that was so great. I saw my dad after, he told me he ‘approved’ of my upcoming marriage, and also was going to see his mansion soon one day (possibly in Cabo San Lucas he said because of my hat with that wording on it). When I left, he told me he loved me. I told him I loved him too. He added, I love you VERY much. The doctor was there at that moment and heard, and smiled, as did I. My mom also told me her petscan results came back and there are no signs of cancer. Thank You Lord for the joy in the trials.
P.S. – Adam’s feeding tube was just removed by Dr. Hixson (no degree, just one is obstinance). He pulled it out. The other doctor concurred (with Adam) 🙂 and I gave my approval to leave it out, so please pray for all to continue to work together for good.
Love in Christ, Adam, Holly, and the rest of the team (who are family to us).
Yesterday one of my believing friends gave me a break during the daytime/early evening, so I could head out towards the Superstition mountains with a friend of mine. Having been born and raised in Arizona, I do not remember seeing them up close. We went to see someone who is close to facing eternity. A destination we will all arrive at whether we believe or do not believe. Her husband is one who does not believe in either of these destinations. A kind and reasonable man, who is loyal and compassionate and takes care of his wife. How much more good could one be?
Except that we all miss the mark, and fall short of God’s Holy standard. He is perfect and righteous, we are not. He cannot be in the presence of sin and filth. We just do not see it from His perspective, we think we are good or good enough. Some think that they will reach the ‘divine in them’. Yet others think that good works will get them there. Others I know feel their church is ‘the one church that can save’.
I have news for you all. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord one day. He is your Lord whether you know or believe or not. He is Lord of all. The demons know that and tremble. Jesus has offered you a free gift of salvation from the fate of sin — eternal death. He came to seek and to save those who are lost, but He is offering this gift. He does not force it upon anyone, who does not want one to willingly love them?
He loves us all. He proved His love for dying for the whole world while we were yet in sin, and of course those of us in the future who had not even been born. Every single sin was paid for, nailed to HIS cross (Col 2:13-15). Jesus claimed that He is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE (eternal) and that NO ONE will come to the Father but THROUGH/BY Him.
Are you trying to get to Him through another one than what He has offered? Are you trusting in another? Are you trusting in good works? Turning from sin? Proving you are saved by your works? Not really a fan of Dr. Phil, but “how’s that working for you?” Better yet, ask your loved ones, friends or even enemies if you are good enough to prove you are saved.
There is one way according to God’s Word, and that is to believe on Jesus Christ. What He did for us on the cross — He died for OUR sin (all of it), took it away at the cross. He was buried and literally rose again from the dead. He said He could and would rise from the dead, that He gave His life willingly and that He would take it up again. We need to know who He is; (Jesus was fully God and fully man). Jesus had the power to take His life up again.
“Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. John 10:17-18b
Why fully God and man? Man sinned, so man had to die, but this had to be an eternal solution. His sacrifice was once for all, and for those of us who believe, it perfects us forever in His sight (Heb 10:10, 14). This free gift of eternal life (Rom 6:23)/everlasting life, starts the moment we believe (Jn 5:24) — Given everlasting life, we are no longer condemned, but we are passed from death unto life. We are moved into the everlasting Kingdom of Jesus (Col 1:13) sealed with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption (Eph 1:13; 4:30), seated in Heavenly places already (Eph 2:6). This is immediate. This is not a probationary status. You have either believed God’s testimony of His Son or not (1 John 5:9-13) and can know you currently possess eternal life.
If you have, you are adopted into His family (Jn 1:12, Eph 1:5, Rom 8:15, Gal 4:5), we are flesh of His flesh (Eph 5:30-32), bone of His bones… Many more things happen to those who will believe on Him, but the good news starts with eternal life.
Adam moved to Barrows today, we are off to the races! 🙂
It took awhile, but he arrived this afternoon. On our way over, we saw an accident happen before our eyes. People went through a red light, three cars were involved, one flipped. Jason and I pulled over, I called 911 and we checked to make sure all had turned off their cars, told them to get out, and they all seemed fine, so we went on our way.
We were happy to see Adam’s room was spacious and it was a single room. The day still had plenty of events going on, after settling in, we had dinner and then went through his medical history etc. with his nurse. Then we did the same with the Respiratory Therapist. later on we got the menu! I told Adam he got to pick his own food, but he had to tell me out loud. We went through breakfast. He chose ‘cereal’, then ‘raisin bran’. What kind of milk? Skim, 2% or whole? He held up two fingers, I let that pass and circled 2%. I said bacon, potatoes, etc. etc. He verbally chose ‘bacon and potatoes’. Juice — ‘apple and cranberry’. For lunch he picked ‘soup, turkey, herbed potato wedges’ fully saying each word. I asked him for dinner if he wanted real butter or margarine — ‘REAL butter’, ‘tomato soup’ etc. The very last was dessert for dinner, (I only gave him the choices I thought he could have). ‘Fruit cup or orange sherbet?’ Jason piped in from the corner loudly, ‘ORANGE SHERBET’. I turned to Jason, ‘quiet over there’! (Adam was on a roll in speaking and didn’t want him to pick for him. However, I think the guy thing kicked in when Adam agreed, ‘orange sherbet’ which was met with a whoop from the rooting section. Shortly after that, a girl ran in from the emergency exit, obviously staff, screaming ‘help me’ followed by a young guy. We didn’t know what they were running from, so Jason went out to ask ‘What’s going on here?’ The young guy retreated to run into a security guard. Evidently he was a patient (from somewhere else) who was chasing her… We never did really find out what the whole story was. At any rate, we are really looking forward to what the next eight weeks will bring. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We’re looking forward to what the Lord will bring.
Again, please forgive the lack of updates. I have had a busy week. Not just with Adam, but many other things going on in my life. As usual, and I am sure for you all, some good, some bad, and yet more ugly. The ugly has been a distraction I am sure the enemy plans with what we are facing right now. But through it all, the Lord is always faithful.
Here is the good news. My best friend Jason asked me to marry him. These are things oddly I am shy about sharing in public, but want you to be included in the good part as well as the harder parts. Yes I am cutting to the chase so we can get to the reason why you came, to hear about Adam 🙂 I do not yet know when we will get married, we have lots of things to plan.
As for Adam —
I surrender all… I had that hymn on in the background in his room as Adam was sleeping and I was trying to do some things on the computer. Just low music, I didn’t realize Adam had woken even though I was sitting right next to him. Adam started singing/talking over and over, “I surrender all” along with the song. When the song ended, he was repeating it over and over.
Because a lot of the time CCM is not always sound in lyrics, (and I wasn’t really sure of what the full lyrics were), I explained to him that is impossible for us to do that (surrender all). But we can give our problems and faults to Him, and do it again when we take it back, asking Him to help us again. He is faithful (Matt 11:28-30). We have such a friend in Jesus. Then I thought maybe I’d put on something he might know the lyrics too. I asked him if he remembered, “I can only imagine”. He had that as his ring tone for me probably 7 or 8 years ago. He said he did remember. I put it on, and started singing. But when I stopped to hear his voice (mine is terrible) he’d only lip-sync. So I sang away loud as I could. Adam has given me permission to share these videos. I would respect it and not share them it were otherwise. I wanted to be sure he understood (because from time to time he hasn’t wanted his pictures taken at all). He did say yest to me sharing them with you all.
In this first video, I sang with Adam, (I apologize for the terrible off key, it is what it is) 🙂 Anyways, he was singing, I could hear his voice but if I tried to be quieter or stop altogether, then he would only lip sync (as I mentioned). Normally I would certainly care who heard me, but not this day. The RT came down the hall, smiling as he (and probably most the hall could hear me singing, but by then they’d already heard me singing “Jesus loves me this I know”, with Gloria at the top of my lungs.
You will hear (likely) when I start crying in this first video and can barely continue.
Adam clearly knows and is touched by the words of this song.
Adam finishes with tears in his eyes and much emotion.
When I went to leave later that night, I bent over to kiss him goodbye. Sometimes he pushes me away, I think he gets a little embarrassed. As I kissed him, I was saying “I love you”. At the same time he was pushing me away he was saying “I love you too”. Amber was there. And I laughed at him and said, “Well, wow, that is a funny way to show me and I recreated the scene as if I were Adam. “I love you too, but get off of me will ya, you’re embarrassing me, stop already!” (Not verbatim, but I do try to tease him back). I was walking away as I was doing my little ‘act’ and he laughed out loud, HAH! Wasn’t sure if the first was a laugh or a ‘HAH, I gotcha!’ But then he laughed immediately thereafter, “ha ha”, with the biggest grin on his face. First time we have heard him laugh out loud. Amber and I laughed and laughed and I continued my monkey antics to try to make him laugh. I’ve been trying ever since then. Last night was a huge scare with him choking, praise God it worked out and he was o.k.
The day before yesterday, he told me something that I couldn’t quite ‘get’ so I turned the music off that we were listening to, and I asked him to repeat it. He said clear as day, “I freakin’ love you”. His eyes were soft and had moisture in them, I was so moved and said, “Aww, I love you so much too”. Then instead of just enjoying the moment, that silly mother creature in me came out and I told him gently, “I’d probably be better if you say ‘I really love you’ vs. the word freakin’ because of what it sounds like”. He responded with his usual calm attitude, “Okay mom”…. 🙂 A few minutes later I asked, “How do you like my ring”? His humorous response? “I REALLY love it!”
The final news? I was told yesterday evening that insurance HAS approved his acute Physical Therapy with Barrows Neurological Institute with Dr. Christina Kwasnica. It will be an 8 week intensive therapy program for the family with Adam. Please keep us in your prayers for that to go well.
I don’t know how much to say, how little to say — still processing everything.
This week my daughter visited from Colorado with my first new grandbaby, Remi. Adam got to see her, and told Greer, “Thank you for bringing Remi to see me”. That’s a long string of words for him as he’s told us it’s difficult to speak with the tube in his throat. He also addressed Remi directly by saying, “Hi Remi” to his first niece. These are milestones and new memories being made with Adam. Remi also got to meet my parents, and went to the assisted living to see my dad. A baby was evidently a rare commodity as all the residents clamored over her and quizzed the others as to whether they had seen the baby.
We had our long anticipated appointment with Barrows yesterday. We were awaiting it in some trepidation, as we try to navigate these new stormy waters in our life. One of two gentlemen who worked the transport told me an interesting story. One had transported Adam before. I don’t know when, but the new one told me that Adam didn’t respond to him when he said hello. He said when he saw the other driver, (who said “Hi Adam”), he instantly responded back to him in recognition with no prompting — “Hi Scott”! That was huge!
We were there to see whether Adam would be approved for their intensive Physical Therapy program. Short answer, Yes! Thank the Lord! Looks like about two weeks if insurance will allow, we will be inpatient at Barrows for about eight weeks. How impressed I was by this doctor. She is bright, open and friendly. Astute and kind, didn’t seem like an ounce of condescension was in her (unlike some previous caregivers).
Dr. Kwasnica was informed by someone that we are with Adam day and night. I know God’s hand was in that too, it was definitely a positive for her. She mentioned the PT notes were not thorough, but she felt by looking and talking to Adam that he was ready for their program. Pray for God’s timing on it all. She instantly noted the vision problems (which was one of my things to discuss with her), and said it was different than his last visit.
Right now Adam is sick, not sure if it’s a cold, sinus infection or more. I asked for a chest X-ray, which they did yesterday evening (to make sure it’s not pneumonia). He is not running a fever, and does not seem terribly sick, however, better safe than sorry. We did get him on an antibiotic right away five days ago.
Back to Doctor Kwashica. She also ordered another CT Scan ASAP. I told her about his fall last week (out of bed) and that since then, he has had vision and other issues. She asked if they had done a followup CT Scan. I explained that I’ve left notes for the doctor with the charge nurses twice this week in Adam’s file. And that I have also been asking daily for the doctor, and still have had no word. So she wrote the order for the CT Scan, and nurse Kim said she entered the order last night. Please pray that will get addressed in a timely manner.
Kind of in a surreal shock driving back from the doctor, happy they accepted him, but not knowing if we’re ready, and what comes after. Thoughts running through my mind of what to do and how we will do it. But knowing the Lord has always been faithful and will help us through it all. Thank you for the prayer support, and those who come in faithfully to stand alongside me, Adam and Amber (who is daily faithful). In His love, Holly and Adam
This is the last day of our year. We sit on the brink of the year changing. We have to remember to write 2016 and we will make a mistake several times. So many things that fall on the first of the year, things we need to get done. Yet, to us, tomorrow is just another day. That’s not a bad thing, the Lord has made each day, and we should rejoice and be glad in it.
Adam ended up in the ER a few days ago. We left his room, to give him some quiet as he was sleeping. A few minutes later the neighbor came out to say he had fallen out of bed. They arranged for the medical transport to take him to the ER. If it was an emergency, I cannot imagine how anyone would make it out of there. Adam is fine, but we went through all the testing, he did have a CT scan and no new brain bleeds or issues. When I said goodbye to him that night, I asked him to give me a kiss, he made a pucker/smack sound as he kissed my cheek and I kissed him. I told him I loved him, and he responded that he loved me too with one of the smiles I prayed to God to see. Moments to treasure.
We ask for prayer and wisdom for the vision problems that seem intermittent, yet worse for Adam. We are concerned about the blurred vision, and the lack of vision in his left eye. Also he is not seeing colors now, and there have been times he can see color, but for now, everything he sees is ‘grey’. Please pray for the dental care to happen (we have asked for it many times and over months). Pray about the staff who are careless with alarms or worse, who do not attend to him as often or soon as they should. We are not talking of 15-20 minute delays, but of hour or two delays. We ask for prayer regarding notes we have left for the doctor, requesting tests, requesting phone calls, and none as of yet. Our doctor unfortunately has been switched due to an insurance change. I have spoken to the new doctor once by phone. When asking about Adam his comment was ‘no change, he is stabile’. I asked him when he had a chance to look at his chart to please get back with me, because he obviously must be speaking of another patient. Adam has had many changes, and the man was obviously in the dark completely or just has too many patients. We ask for prayer for those there who seem to have no hope, that somehow we might be able to be there for them, to encourage them as we walk this road together. Since we have been there, we have seen people die, people get moved to other locations, and some leave to go home, and we wait yet again for another roommate.
Thank you most of all for continuing in prayer for Adam. He has been happier since my last update, so I believe the prayers of all of you have made quite a difference. I do not feel so much like I have hit a wall and can’t move, so I know your prayers have helped me considerably and I’m ever grateful. I looked outside at my neglected yard, in which it looks like several prairie dogs or gophers have taken up residence. I walked to my side garden, lots of tomatoes on the vine, green, and likely have been frozen a bit. It was a cemetery of woody vines strewn with about 12 socks. (My dog Zacchaeus has a sock addiction. He takes them out and rarely brings them back in). 🙂 I decided to leave them where they lay for the moment. Maybe next year I’ll pick them up 🙂
May we all continue to remember to thank the Lord for His goodness to us, no matter what we see, no matter what we are going through, I know He will never leave us nor forsake us. Neither Adam or I are close to being wonderful people. We are just normal, but we both have believed upon the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. We know that He died so that we could live with Him forever. This is my hope. I know He will work this all together for good. I hope it is so some will come to know Him. He has surrounded us with selfless individuals who come in (some daily like Amber) and others faithfully each week, some twice a week. Everyone sees this and marvels at his supporters. And the kind of support he has also touches them. God is good, so good.
Love to you all, Adam and his mom ❤
Jesus loves me!
Adam wept — Jesus wept.
Sorry it has taken me so long to update. It’s been emotionally a very hard week. I got back on Saturday and went in to see Adam. Jason went to see my dad in my stead. Adam seemed to be in pain, and when I asked him for a hug, shoved me away instead and said, “Maybe some other time”.
The next day was a little better, I don’t think he was happy with me being away. The following day, Monday,
I joined Tierney, Koby and David (who were with Adam already) in the cafeteria for a Christmas play. Tierney had to say goodbye. Adam looked as if he was very sad and actually might cry. He did — but not until shortly after, then he begin to silently weep. No tears, no sound. I didn’t know what to do other than to hug him and tell him it would be alright. That we were all there fighting for him and to not give up hope, things were getting better. He said simply, yet drawn out as if in relief, “O.K.” Yet he continued to weep. I have never seen Adam cry in his adult life, and honestly, I hope to not see it much again, although the fact he is having different emotions is good I know. On Sunday with another friend, she got him to smile in a big way. But when Adam wept, it made me think on a particular story about Jesus’s response when the mourners wept for Lazarus. It’s the shortest verse in the Bible.
Jesus wept. Jn 11:35
He cares. Jesus wept over Jerusalem, He has compassion on us and our needs (Matt 14:14; 15:32; 20:34; Mark 1:31; 5:19; 6:34). He loves the whole world, even the worst of us, He died for us, knowing full well every sin we have done, are doing, and more than we even know yet — He forgave the ones we haven’t even committed yet (Col 2:13-15).
This is a loving God who gave His Son for us, the greatest gift ever given. He loves us so much, He stores our tears in a bottle, numbers our wanderings and even the stars along with calling them out by name (Ps 56:8, Ps 147:4). Even the hairs on our head are counted by Him– and we know that changes all the time (Lk 12:7). He cares for us and wants us to cast our cares on Him (1 Pet 5:7). So give Him your burdens (Ps 55:22), come to Him (Matt 11:28-30). He is good to all — his tender mercies are all over His works (Ps 145:9), look around and see that they are there for you, because of His great love for you (Ps 19:1-5; John 15:13). New mercies each morning that keep me from being consumed — great is His faithfulness (Lam 3:21-23).
His song is over us at night (Ps 42:7-8) a prayer to the God of my life. He commands His lovingkindness each day. He is close to the brokenhearted (Ps 34:17-18; Luke 4:18-19), healing them and binding up their wounds (Ps 147:3). His precious thoughts towards us more than all the individual grains of sand in all the oceans (Ps 139:17-18). I know He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb 13:5). When our soul clings to the dust, the Psalmist said His Word revives and strengthens us (Ps 119:25, 28). He satiates every weary soul and replenishes every sorrowful soul it says in Jeremiah 31:25.
That is the wonderful God I know. Even when my soul is disquieted in me, and I feel cast down, I hope in God (Ps 43:5). I felt that way this week. I could not speak much. I was troubled within, but I know God is with us, so who can be against us (Rom 8:31)?
Sometimes I don’t ‘feel’ these things, but I have faith that they are so, no matter what my emotions, for I know God’s Word is true (2 Cor 5:7; John 17:17), and was actually written ahead of time, so that I might have comfort and hope (Rom 15:4)…
Yesterday when I came in, Wendy and Dori were standing out in the hallway. It was after lunch and PT, and they were putting him back to bed to rest awhile. I heard one of my favorite old patients crying. I started to walk down there and faintly heard her singing in between the tears, “Jesus loves me this I know”. I couldn’t quite believe it, so I walked in and sure enough she was. So I chimed in with her (as the RT looked at me in surprise), “For the Bible tells me so”. We sang together, “Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so”.
Some of you may not think that means much, or may not understand what it meant to me and to this woman. It was a song I frequently sang to my babies, toddlers and children. I’d point to their heart, and I’d make a bicep curl for ‘strong’. And we’d sing together when they were old enough to sing. When the hospital told me that Adam was non responsive, the very first thing he did was squeeze my hand. It was when I leaned over his bed in ICU, told him I knew he was there, and sang Jesus loves me (through my tears) and Adam squeezed my hand. I believe the Lord allowed that reminder to help me get through my dark moments. There are times which tire me to a point of exhaustion, but He always brings some light somewhere. Some hope or encouragement from someone. Right when I think I cannot do one more thing…
I had the ‘care conference’ this morning, it was the first time that they were all pretty encouraging and said he was progressing and doing well. The only thing that is mostly heads up is interaction from the new doctor. Please continue to pray for us, don’t forget us. We love you. Have a blessed celebration of the birth of Christ. If you don’t know Him, please consider looking into who Jesus is, and what His significance is to you.
Love in Jesus Christ, Holly and Adam.
Huge amounts of snow yesterday, haven’t seen it snow all day anywhere (and very strong at some points). Thankfully when Joel had to try to shovel out (after work), the neighbor came over with his snowblower. Greer, Joel, Remi and I skyped Adam last night. (That’s me holding up Remi for a Christmas photo for dad. I was trying to hide so we could crop me out, I’ll try to accomplish that later <3.
They let us know that Adam had a hard time engaging in Physical Therapy, I asked if he had a bath in the morning (knowing from previous experiences — at least half a dozen times — that morning baths are very tiring for him). There is multiple hoists; they hoist him out of bed, shower him, hoist him back into bed to change him. Hoist him back out of bed to wheel chair, Occupational Therapy and or RNA (this particular morning was RNA and Speech Therapy) Wheel chair to dining room for breakfast, and same for lunch then up to PT at one. That doesn’t include any hoisting back in or out of bed.
It is just too much because the shower makes him alert for a short time, but then exhausted with all the activity on top. I found out that yes, he had a bath in the morning (which is contrary to the schedule they set up and have agreed to), but it’s just one of many things that constantly change in these facilities. (Amber did go to get the nurse to once again put the firm schedule in his charts)
I felt badly because I told him he needed to try hard always in physical therapy so that he could come home. I didn’t hear him say, “I am really trying” (Amber told me later). He seemed very relieved when I figured out he had been given a morning shower and Greer and I both noticed that his whole demeanor changed after that.
We asked Uncle Adam to say hello to his first niece. It took a minute with all the background noise but he said out loud, “Hi Remi”. We of course were all thrilled. Pray for our sustenance, those who are there all of the time with him, and covering for me as I am with my daughter and new baby granddaughter.
For those of you who have texted (or tried) we don’t get text up here, or rarely. A few days into being here, several texts came in but when I responded, it didn’t go out (and still hasn’t), and I haven’t gone back into town since Remi was born so that it could go back out again. So maybe in a day or so some of you will receive my response 🙂 Look forward to seeing you all, sad at the thought of leaving my family up here. Joel’s mom will be coming to help in a couple of weeks, so that will be a nice respite I am sure. God bless you all, and thank you for your continued prayers.
I’ll share a couple of updates from Amber and Doreen here too.
Amber: Adam’s doing great. When I arrived last night (Saturday) I found Dori finishing dinner with him and Jessup lighting up a little table side battery operated Christmas Tree in the still bed-less / vacant other half of the room.
As Dori was finishing up dinner, I started putting the brace on and mentioned that I was reminding Adam that he needed 2 good arms to hold his little niece (as a way for him to connect something he wanted with the reason we were doing something he didn’t enjoy).
Dori liked the idea and I told her that when Adam told me Greer was pregnant, “he was bouncing off the walls.” Then out of nowhere, Adam said clearly “I was not bouncing.” I looked at him and repeated “did you say you were not bouncing?” He said “yes.” I said “I didn’t mean literally, I meant you were excited. You were excited right?” And Adam again said “yes.” I said “Adam do you remember telling me that Greer was pregnant?” He said “yes”. I said “Do you remember where we were when you told me?” He didn’t answer and seemed to be thinking things over. Later in the evening…. he said “this sucks.” I laughed and said “yeah, this big time sucks.” Then he said “I remember everything from…” and he let the end of the sentence drop off. He didn’t come back to it so we let it go. When the CNA came in to turn him, I asked Adam which way he wanted to turn – left, right, or center – Adam said “Center” so the CNA and I adjusted him the way he requested.
Dinner has been consistently counted as 100% consumed. Tonight was pasta with at tomato sauce and shredded chicken, a vegetable medley consisting of steamed broccoli, bell peppers, carrots, and cauliflower, a dinner roll, side of applesauce, 2 containers of honey thick apple-juice, and a honey thick milk, and a chocolate chip cookie. Adam devoured everything other than the chocolate chip cookie. I saved the milk to go with the cookie and he is very good and drinking the milk slowly himself without assistance and without going too quickly. He had a couple small pieces of the cookie – it was a little dry. He said it was choking him so I gave him some milk and he said it was better. I asked him if he wanted another piece and he said no rather defiantly – so the remainder of the cookie was banished lol.
Important P.S. Update by Amber above– I left out the end part on Adam by accident.
One of my friend’s who helps with Adam, reported that he was a “little chatterbox today.” She said that he told her he had missed her. He said “hi” to nurse Kim and one of the CNA’s – both whom he had never acknowledged before verbally. She tried a stretching exercise with him with the handle from the red band that is on the side of the bed. She had him grip the handle and she held the other side, with the rope unhooked, and told him to hold it or she would fall – Adam held it and she was able to really stretch his arm out with him working with her.
After dinner, I asked him how his day was and he said “Excellent” I asked him what he did today and he said “Everything.” Then I asked him what was his favorite thing that he did today. He said “drinking a lot of…You’re silly.” I looked at him and said, “I’m silly?” He said “yes.” I said “you’re silly, what do you want to do tonight.” He said “Let’s read.” So i grabbed the little laptop table, the book stand, and your Bible and set it up on his lap where here could flip the pages. I asked him to pick out what he wanted to read. He flipped around the pages a little and eventually landed on 1 Samuel Chapter 2. I asked him if he wanted me to read to him, when I noticed his eyes were scrolling the page like he was reading silently, or trying to. He didn’t ask for help but seemed content to try and sort it out on his own, so I let him have space to do so. He gradually dozed off from the effort. So I put everything away and let him rest.
All and all, it’s been a pretty successful day, minus him pulling out his trach again Sunday morning. He seems to be doing it in his sleep somehow.
Love – Amber
P.S. to the P.S. from Holly. The story of Samuel in 1 Sam 2 is a story I told Adam as a little boy. The prayer of Hannah is amazing, and those of you who have known me for a long time know that the doctors said I would not get pregnant. I had seven more children. Consider reading the chapter online or in your Bible if you have one. Love to you all.
Doreen: I asked Adam if he wanted his Christmas tree closer. He is not really responding much today, except the throat growling thing.
Anyway, I put it at the end of his bed by the bathroom door, at the wall. I asked if he could see it. Then I moved it right up to the foot of his bed… He looked at it, I asked if he could see it clearly… he SMILED!! It was just on the right side of his mouth, but it was definitely a bigger smile than I’ve seen.
He is being a bugger today, though.
Make a snowman and send a pic to us. heehee.
I have not shared this news yet, we were waiting until the official notice from the doctor’s office.
My second married daughter Gillienne and son-in-law Brad are expecting their first baby in June. We don’t know yet of course whether it is a boy or a girl. My son Garrett and his wife Shannon are expecting their first also, due sometime in May. So it looks like two more crowns for me (Pr 17:6) 🙂
Last night we had some pretty shocking news. To make it brief, they tried to put another roommate in with Adam. Thing is they all had the yellow gowns on. Amber, knowing what this stood for, pursued it and would not let them bring this person in once she found out he had MRSA. Some of the staff were not happy, and some not very kind. Adam had to wait out in the hall, and Amber noticed the patient was tugging at his trach. She had been told the contagion was contained because he was on a ventilator. When she saw that, she asked if he pulled out his trach would that be a different story, could it release the contagion, and they agreed it would.
Even then, there were some who tried to insist to put this man in with Adam, saying they only had this particular room. One told her it wasn’t her place to insist it not happen. Amber stood her ground. Thank the Lord for her boldness.
They suddenly found room for him somewhere else, and did not put him in with Adam. We have tried to be really patient with what may seem little, but it’s hard for a brain injury firstly to deal with a lot of noise and temperature situations which we’ve struggled with. We have had roommates with consistent T.V. and visitors, which were very pleasant, however, for Adam, I believe the stimulus and in and out of the room was really difficult. This was beyond the pale and I thank the Lord that Adam was looked after while I am away.
So Adam got an early birthday present. My daughter Greer and son-in-law Joel had their little girl yesterday evening. Her name is Remi Jayne. She is my first grandchild, an absolutely perfect China Doll — beautiful and precious, with heart shaped lips, long lashes, and sweet little round face. Alert eyes, gazing at you with intensity it seems, framed by perfect little eyebrows (I do not think it has anything to do with prejudice). 🙂
Daddy and his little baby girl seem enamored with one another. She already has him captivated, and of course mom (my daughter), Kim and I as well (two grandmas). Auntie Jenn was dancing and clapping with glee (Kim’s younger sister). We laughed as we conspired together to try to find some medical garb so we could sneak in the room. I was headed to do it and Kim stopped me lol! We had a Lucy and Ethel moment. We got close with our ears to the door in time to hear the baby’s arrival, little sweet cries, daddy and mommy soothing Remi, and daddy being asked to cut the cord. It seemed like forever before we could hold her. What a miracle.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
Today (the 9th) is Adam’s birthday and I am out of town. Hard place to be away from him, but a blessing to be where I am right now. Adam has two close friends with him today, sharing the day of his entrance into this world.
I remember that time well. I had lost a baby at around 4 months along before Adam, so I was so excited to have a baby, yet scared. I remember preparing for the day that he would come home. Standing in that quiet room, with wine colored carpeting and white walls, (looking out to a yard that was not yet landscaped — a new house). Folding baby clothes and putting them away neatly in my newly assembled changing table. Organizing and reorganizing. Making lists (and checking them twice) 🙂 Moving the crib from one wall to another. Figuring out the best place for my bentwood rocking chair (I can still see it in my mind). Bringing him home, not knowing what was ahead for me… every part of my body screaming out for sleep after awhile. But happy to be with him. I remember him in his johnny-jump-up. I’d fasten it to the double-door office frame and he would bounce all over with the biggest toothless grin — baby giggles and screeching with joy. Seems like part of that is repeating for me, so waiting for the day I am past the fatigue, and he is smiling and laughing with me again. ❤
We never can quite prepare for the things that will happen in life. The one thing we can count on is the goodness of the Lord. I have more to share when I am able. God bless and keep you all. Looking forward to updating with more soon of what I’ve been up to (maybe today).
We’ve had some busy days.
Monday, Adam pulled out his trach, thank the good Lord, there was no damage. Tuesday – Physical therapy starts up again, but only three days a week, Occupational for two. Pray we can get that increased. On Monday, the same day he pulled out his trach, they capped it. That basically means instead of the pmv, (which has a screen for breathing), this one is solid — the next step towards having a swallow study and the trach permanently removed. His oxygen has stayed good and he has been tolerating it very well.
Monday was his first day to try toast and eggs, but he wasn’t interested in the oatmeal even though she added more sugar (Don’t blame him). He has been having pulverized food at dinner — meat, veggies, etc, and yogurt/applesauce at lunch, and Cara has been giving him breakfast for now.
Adam’s sister Tierney spent Tues. morning and early afternoon with him. After physical therapy, and some applesauce and yogurt, she brushed and flossed his teeth really well. He seemed very happy about that. He did not seem very happy when she left. He was grabbing and grabbing at his trach. I was busy keeping him off it, but he was intent on getting to it. I felt like Pat Morita on the Karate Kid (wax on, wax off) while trying every bit of motherly sternness. He was even using his left arm. I finally noticed the collar was a large one and it is irritating, so I got the RT to change it back to medium for me.
I decided to sit him up and stretch him myself. (I think I was stretched a little more). We continue to do arm stretching, he is getting kind of tight. A couple days ago, he was indicating it was hurting, so as I stretched, I told him to give me a thumbs up if it hurt, and when it did, I’d let off and the thumb would go down. We got in a rhythm and then I realized he was conning me, when I wasn’t stretching and he put the thumb up in the rhythm we were in. I told him to put the thumb down, I wasn’t stretching him. He complied slowly :). Then I somehow got him back laying down and he laid on his side, and I asked him if he wanted to move from his side to his back. He said, “No, I want to stay”. We didn’t stay in bed long before they came to get him to put him in a wheelchair at 4 which was great. We had some time outside, and later when his feeding machine started to run low on battery, we went inside to plug in. I didn’t want to go to the room, so we went to the conference room and sat there and watched the end of the 2005 movie Lassie (which we had started the day before). I started to stretch his other arm, and told him to do it too himself. He reached his arm up and reached out to me and gestured to me with his hand. I leaned in and he pulled me down to his shoulder, patting my back. I began to cry. I didn’t mean to, but he started stroking my hair and patting me more as the tears flowed, I kissed him and told him I loved him (more than once).
Later we tried some “funniest home videos” — that didn’t hold his interest in the slightest. So I tried a show called ‘the Flash’. I didn’t know if it was going to be too childlike for him, but suddenly he was very attentive. He was doing a great job holding his head up.
When we got back to the room, the dinner was waiting there for him. Ground chicken with gravy, mashed potatoes with gravy, and carrots. He was getting sleepy so I thought I’d try a few bites since it was going on 7:30. He seemed to like both the chicken and mashed potatoes, but we didn’t do too much. He’s doing great with the ice chips too. We waited for the CNA’s to come put him to bed, Amber was there, so I went twice to try to chase some down. Finally I left her there to wait for him to get back in bed, but I leaned down and told him I loved him. I asked him if he could speak outloud (when I saw him mouth something). Perfectly out loud in the hallway, he said, “I love you too”. The nurse came by and said ‘awww…’ almost in tandem with Amber saying the same. Wonderful way to end the evening ❤
Today the speech therapist Cara said he’s doing really well with regular chopped food and it should change. (I tried the mystery ball of pulverized food, never could figure it out. Tried to get Amber to try it, nothing doing… lol, she didn’t sign up for mystery meals evidently).
Amber and I have been practicing with his chewing by putting pudding in ice to get cold, then dipping ice chips (about 3) in the pudding. He is doing great chewing she said, and his feeding may go to overnight feed tube (we’ll know by Monday) and they will bring him into the cafeteria at noon and staff will feed unless family wants to or are able stay and feed. This should help quite a bit, but will affect therapy times. We trust that God is working it out in His perfect timing. We are the ones that seem to have trouble waiting.
Seems like in so many ways, we have lost a lot of months. Navigating the waters of finances, legal paperwork, and trying to do our best to make sure Adam doesn’t regress while therapies are withheld is wearing. Not wanting to make mistakes, yet trusting the Lord to lead us. He has blessed us with Adam’s employer, Red Robin, who has really been supportive beyond measure in this time of crisis. We sure love and appreciate them. His friends and mine, some who give hands on help, others who faithfully pray, we are so thankful for. Please especially pray for Amber who has been a faithful friend, and such amazing support for us all. I really pray the Lord will bless her for all her kindnesses to us.
Soon I should have a new granddaughter, my first grandchild. Time seems surreal as it wasn’t too long ago that I held my first child Adam in my arms and learned how to be a mother. I’m learning still. Time is so precious, redeem it wisely. We never know how our lives may turn out.
For those of you who have asked about Chris and Cristina, please continue to keep them in your prayers. Chris is progressing, but is in the phase where aggression, confusion and other things cause frustration. For patients with brain injuries, there just are no real norms. All are different. And although the medical profession claims to understand them, I believe they’ve barely scratched the surface. That’s where family and friends come in, and praying for everything so our steps will be directed.
Adam will be getting scrambled eggs and toast on Monday. Pray that it goes well and please also pray that Lord willing, the physical and occupational therapy will resume. If it doesn’t, we pray that we will have the wisdom and strength to do the right therapies ourselves. Pray also for my other children, who do not have their mom around as much.
Jason has finished his 9 weeks of radiation, and so has some medicines which will continue, we pray that will be successful, and all will continue to work together for good.
My daughter Tierney became engaged to John, another milestone in our lives. Pray for God’s leading in their lives.
My son Garrett and his wife Shannon are expecting a baby in May, so life continues on, and so we take each day and thank the Lord for it. We thank the Lord for you too ❤ In the Love of Christ, Holly and Adam and family.
Yesterday for lunch, they sent mashed potatoes and gravy, ground turkey and gravy, Pudding with whipped cream, and cranberry sauce. Adam did well with the mashed potatoes and gravy. I decided to switch over to the pulverized meat, which was more like a pate’. All I can say is ICK. Adam evidently agreed, he kept it in his mouth. I told him if he would swallow I wouldn’t do it again 🙂
We switched back to some mashed potatoes. Then tried a little cranberry sauce, and then the pudding, which he helped spoon in. (I’d put it on the spoon and he ate well with it). Later for dinner, we tried some yogurt and applesauce at around 7. Jason took care of serving the rest of the family dinner around 7:30-8, and Amber was able to join them and visit with everyone. Later, she relieved me and I went over and caught some of them before they went home. I don’t think I even tasted the food when I re-heated it and sat down around 9:30 🙂 Standing and prep work the two nights before (after being with Adam), is much more difficult it seems these days (although Jason did all the shopping).
Little steps amount to progress for sure. We are trying to get him up twice a day. I know he is improving but I also know that the lack of therapies have discouraged him. I am also trying to sit him up, and do more massage and movement. The doctor did have a meeting with the therapy groups and I am supposed to hear from them Monday. Pray for that please.
Also, I have been asking for a couple of weeks, when they were going to downsize his trach (which will lead to eventual removal). For 3 days I asked daily until I got an answer. YES! They downsized him four days ago. He has tolerated it very well. He has also been updated to thickened juice in the past few days, so that is another good sign.
My dad is doing well, please pray for the right place for him to be. Thank you all ❤
Last night Adam told the CNA and also Amber that he remembered the accident. Another confirmation that certain memories are coming back. We’ll be patient as we know that some will not, and we don’t know which ones. We pray for the Lord’s will in all this, as if we look at the stormy waters vs. keeping our eyes on Jesus, we’d sink just like Peter at what seems like deep murky waters at times.
We are encouraged he is doing some eating and have spoken to respiratory therapy and pulmonology about his trach size being reduced and eventually hopefully closed. I also spoke to his doctor again about resuming therapy, how necessary it is to his progress, and some other issues we have dealt with. The teams will be having a meeting on Wednesday with the doctor. Praying for the right timing on everything, and ask you to continue to keep all in prayer. No matter the reputation of these places, there are just people working there.
Adam is very blessed as he has way more help than most. Right now he is playing the same two notes on the piano, but it seems good for his finger dexterity, I may need ear plugs. 🙂 He is now testing out a few new keys, thank you Lord ❤
I forgot a very important piece yesterday. When I arrived, Adam said, “I fell mom”. I looked at him to see if he had any marks of falling. I asked, “Did you fall out of bed”? He said “no”, then repeated, “I fell mom” but added, “I remember. I fell mom, I remember”. I told him that “yes, he had fallen off a motorcycle and he was going to get better as he kept fighting to get strong.”
I had to act as if it was just another moment. But that’s a big memory to come back…Praying that the Lord will renew his mind with good things.
We have had some difficult days. Every day we get through with God’s help and your prayers to Him. We battle with paperwork, understanding insurance, and trying to move him as therapies (besides speech) are still halted. I am now feeding him — “pleasure eating” — throughout the day and night a couple ounces at a time. Pudding, applesauce, a gelatinous ice cream (Adam said is ‘so so’) and yogurt. He seems to be tolerating it well. Unfortunately this morning he pulled out his feeding tube. Fortunately they were able to reinsert it and X-rays show it is in the right location. Please pray these extra appendages won’t bother him so much so he can become stronger.
Telephone conversations have been pretty good and encouraging. He spoke to me on the phone, and he was appropriate in his responses. I waited, it took him a little time.
“Mom” (cough, cough)… “sorry mom, my mouth”…
“Honey, it’s fine, don’t say you’re sorry, I love you.”
“I love you too mom”.
I’d ask questions, he’d say, “mmmm hmmm” and I asked him, “Adam, can you say yes or no, it’s hard to understand on the phone”. He replied, “Sorry, yes”. 🙂
He spoke to my mom on the phone, and Greer, and told them both he loved them. My mom told him to thank God every day in his difficult circumstances to try to see something good and thank Him for it. Adam said, “Yes Ma’am”. 🙂 Now we’ve never been a “yes ma’am” or “no sir” type of family, but it may have been his humor.
Elsa came to visit with her dog Tanner. He said “Hi Elsa” after some waiting and much prompting. Later, he repeated us when we said “Tanner is funny” (he was rolling all over the bed. Adam said, “Tanner is funny”, clear as a bell.
It’s Amber’s birthday today. Please pray for her encouragement, she has been such an encouragement and solid friend in all this. Pray for all those who are involved. Pray for Winston, he got his trach out and is leaving on Monday. Gloria is in pain, please, please pray for her encouragement, and for the Lord to comfort her. Please also keep Sneezy, Larry, Roxy and the staff there in your prayers. Thank you all for being with us in this. Pray also that we can get through these financial paperwork issues and court date. Pray for Jason with his radiation, he is not doing as well. And appreciate prayers for my mom and dad too. Dad is in rehab and strengthening and doing well.
Love in Christ to you all ❤
Early Friday evening I had a God appointment. My friend had left her jacket in Adam’s room, she went to go visit with my father across the street. So later when Adam fell asleep, I decided to quickly drive across the street to drop off her jacket, and say hi again to my dad.
I pulled into a spot that was kind of tight, the car next to me was a little too close to their line, but not badly. There was a man in the car next door, he looked a little aggravated through the window, and started getting out carefully, so I rolled down the window to ask if he could make it out o.k. or if he needed me to move. When I asked, his face lightened up a little and said “It’s fine, I’m skinny, which is also good, I’ll live 6-8 years longer”. I said sorry again to him, rolled out my window, and locked up. When I got to the back of my car, saw that he had his trunk open, which had quite a bit of clothes.
Because it was a quick trip to drop off the jacket, I had just brought my wallet, phone and keys. We walked in together, he looked pretty beaten down. On the way, I asked who he was visiting. With already watering eyes, he said just a friend. I told him I thought it was probably someone more than just a friend. (He told me later who it was). I shared who I was there to see and explained my son was also across the street from a terrible accident which left him with a traumatic brain injury. He stopped dead in his tracks (so did I). He shook his head ever so slightly, but intense as he asked, “How do you do it? How do you deal with it all?” I answered in all sincerity and simplicity, “The Lord”. He admitted to me, he hadn’t been able to do well at all and still wasn’t. I told him I didn’t always do well either, but better with the Lord to lean on. He asked what I did in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I told him I talked to the Lord, prayed for others, read some from the Bible, many times the Psalms. He shared some other things as we stood about 10 paces from the hospital door. I knew he needed/wanted to know more, but since I didn’t have my rolling luggage I take with me, I opened my wallet zipper to see what I had in there that I could leave with him to encourage him. I had a tract with me, but it was a kid’s tract that I got from a wonderful man, Pastor Ralph Yankee Arnold. SEE TRACT HERE
I apologized that it was all I had if he wanted it. He took is saying it was perfectly fine, that he used to be a teacher and he would read it. He said he could understand children’s wording and kind of smiled. Once again he looked at me, mood turned to red-rimmed eyes moistened with tears — still shaking his head as if to apologize for what he was to say next. “I’m sorry, I’m just not handling this well, I feel so alone, and I have no one to talk to.” I asked him about family and/or kids, (not sure how much I want to say past that), except that I told him we should exchange emails. (No, I am not in the habit of doing that). I asked him if he had a phone, but he told me it was ‘off at the moment’ but he could access email and he would be happy to have me email him.
We got to the front desk and asked for a pen and paper, and we exchanged emails, his name is Matthew. At that moment (in front of the security guard sitting as if he were invisible and deaf), Matthew said (just as if he was completing a sentence), “…and I am living in my car at the moment. I just became homeless.” My heart dropped and softened so much more than it already was. He looked so beside himself and I knew the Lord could help him in this misery and I wanted to share this with him. I told him how sorry I was and asked if I could take him to the cafeteria and at least buy him dinner (I was going there anyways to get a chocolate milk for Adam’s roommate Winston).
He declined, assuring me he was fine, that he had just sold his blood that day and he had money for food. I asked, “Are you sure, I have to go there anyways, and we could talk”. He thanked me but said he needed to get up to the room. So I decided to walk with him to the elevator and get the milk on the way back down. I had some cash in my wallet, (normally I wouldn’t even share this for I believe we’re not to do our good deeds in public), except you might not understand the rest if I didn’t. So I believe the Lord will understand my motive in telling you. I folded up the bills in my hand, and put the wadded amount in his, as the elevator door opened. A bunch of us walked in (we were last), he was protesing, “no, no, I can’t take that”. I insisted (in my best bossy mother voice), “yes you can, and you WILL!” all while smiling at him with all tenderness in my heart. He couldn’t really say much more, as we were crowded into the elevator, one more squeezed in with us all, and the doors closed. Facing the elevator doors, Matthew started silently weeping, and the tears started flowing down his face. Of course I shed tears too. He put his arm around me, I and put my arm around him as he was shaking his head in seeming disbelief.
Matthew got off on the fourth floor, saying thank you so much for everything, and wiping tears. As the doors closed, he was still composing himself outside the hall doors, before he went in. I went on my way to see my loved one, and get the jacket to my friend.
That was such a moving moment, the Lord works in ways to show us that He loves us. So many ways. Do we discount them? Are we paying attention? He loves the world so much, He gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross, to pay the penalty (death) for our sins. We’ve all sinned, and can never be good enough. We need a Savior. Is Jesus yours, or your religion, good works, or maybe you don’t believe at all? Please consider the heavens and the earth. They declare Him.
After I dealt with the doctor (who was talking to my family member), I heard the roommate tell the CNA he needed help. She went about her business saying o.k., but not helping him. I know he is demanding, as we have seen ourselves. I could see he was down to the bottom of the bed, and flat. (The curtain was drawn between us). Yet another one came in to take the IV out of my loved one and passed right by the roommate. Then the roommate weakly repeated, “help, help, can somebody help me?” The man told him, “just a minute, I am taking out an IV”. I couldn’t stand hearing him ask for help any more, and I walked over to find him not only scrunched down, but he had the telephone cord around his neck. I unwound it and went to go get a nurse for him and let them know the cord was around the patient’s neck. I couldn’t quite fathom how they wouldn’t at least LOOK to see if something was immediately a problem poor guy… Bless him too Lord.
Then I went on my way to go back to Adam until Amber came. Adam’s first words were MESS. Then he wrote IN in front of mess.
At first Amber thought that is what he meant, that he was in a mess. She said, “After he wrote ‘mess’ I immediately checked the state of things to see if something needed to be addressed. Finding nothing, I sat back down on his right side and asked him to ‘tell me more’. That’s when he wrote what appeared to be “In” with the letters vertically on top of each other, then scribbled it out and went back to drawing.
A few minutes later she switched sides to hold his left hand so she could stretch it out while he continued drawing with the right. As he was drawing, with a hint of a smile said, “You’re funny.” She asked him,“I’m funny”? He continued drawing and said “You’re a mess. You’re funny.”
These times and phrases are few and far between, but when we hear Adam’s voice, or hear him say, “I love you” or “Hi _________” (fill in the name, he has said several), or spell out someone’s name, nod his head yes or no, or even make a face at us, we are blessed beyond measure. It is such an encouragement. Amber said last night he said his trach collar was “too tight”. His RT came in to adjust it and quizzed, “How is it now”? Adam again responded, “too tight!” The RT asked who had put it on too tight before, named himself and the prior RT. Adam responded with his name 🙂 This is not an all day occurrence, it is sporadic and we just never know.
Thank you for your faithful and continual prayer for my family (as I know you are), for Adam, for Amber, and all the others who have been here for us. When the rubber meets the road, you know who is quietly there for you. Don’t forget Gloria, Larry, Sneezy and Winston whose birthday is today. And please add Matthew to your prayers, specifically that he might come to know that Jesus actually does love him as the childhood song says. That somehow our meeting might show him that the Lord in great love, is drawing him and wants Matthew to come to know Him, to believe upon Him as the only way to be saved.
Love to all of you, in Jesus Christ eternally (as my late dear friend Jack Weaver used to say). A couple months from now, I can’t believe it will be a year since he was instantly present with the Lord, I sure miss his wisdom.
Adam is making small strides, we wish at times we’d see greater gains it is for sure. But I was reminded today, I need to rejoice always, and in all things give thanks as the Word tells us. He is saying a few more things, and doing new things.
I confess to you all who read, I am afraid to feel it at times. I have walked this long hard road before, and the Lord was with me, but there is a self-preservation I think we go into, in order to keep from being a mess of tears at all times. My mind is constantly thinking of what he might try, or do, or hear, or feel, or touch that would help him. I see something and think of him, will it stimulate him? Best way I can describe my days is I don’t cry when I would normally, cry when I wouldn’t. Joke when I’m sad. Get grumpy at times for nothing. Relieved to crawl into bed, excited when I hear like today that he was asking for me. I love that boy.
Speech Therapy seems happy with us. Due to a glitch in insurance, we are still waiting on the time when physical therapy and occupational therapy will start back up. They did not tell us that was the reasoning, so that is very frustrating. Instead they told us that it was because he did not cooperate. But then yesterday one of the therapists told us the reason was because of a lapse of insurance. I had no clue, no knowledge that there were any issues, not one person came to me. Thank the Lord I got that straightened out today, I cannot imagine where we’d be. So I am hoping that the therapies will commence soon, Lord willing.
Today was a lot of worry, with my other family member who is hospitalized, trying to find a place for him to be discharged to. He needs dialysis, but medicare won’t pay for a facility that has dialysis in it, (even though they have supplementary) and he will have to be transported. Unfortunately, many do not allow or arrange for transport, so we’re trying to work with people that can hopefully help. He seems to be getting weaker there at the hospital all.
I heard back from Chris and Cristina. It seems he is making strides thank the Lord. Cristina says Chris is eating, and they have taken out his trach. He no longer needs the back brace so he can start PT for walking. He did have a setback last week when he pulled out his feeding tube. I wonder if his doctor (not sure if the same one as Dr. Hu) has reconsidered his “you should let him go” statement? I’m really saddened by the health system, right now, both are Honor health, both JC Lincoln and Scottsdale Osborn, big disappointment as far as wanting to go beyond the initial ‘saving of lives’ as they said, just to turn around and want us to ‘let them go’ (when they’re breathing on their own)…
I had a really wonderful conversation with Winston, who I had originally given the booklet “How to go to heaven” by Tom Cucuzza. We had a discussion of his many brushes with death, accidents, tragedies. How he now feels all these things were for a reason. I know so. We talked about how he used to be an atheist, raised a Catholic. He did say he wanted to know for sure, so I went over how you could be saved again. I asked him if he’d like to see the verses, and I got a resounding ‘Yes’. I went over John 3:14-18; 36; John 5:24; John 6:40, 47. We talked about the prophecies of old, well before Jesus was ever born. Then I read Isaiah 53 and explained how Jesus had done these things, and fulfilled these prophecies of the Savior to come. We went over how what we must do is ‘believe’ who He is – God, Savior (Jn 8:24; Is 43:11) , and what He did for us on the cross (1 Cor 15:3-4). That the moment we believe, we possess right then, everlasting life as a free gift, and are also sealed with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption (when we’re given new bodies). I explained that we are already citizens in heaven, already seated in heavenly places ‘in Christ’, sons of God because of our belief (John 1:12). I took him to 1 John 5:13 and John 20:31, explaining the reason John was written was so people could know that by believing they could have life in His name. I told him if he believed, he was saved. There was nothing he had to ‘do’. But I did share with him how it had made quite a difference in hard times, for me to pray and to also be in His Word. I talked of learning of a God who stored my tears, how awesome and unbelievable that was for me. How during sorrow, I read of a God who sang over me at night. How there were times where I couldn’t sleep, and I’d read of His love for me. How He knew me, when I laid down, or rose up, and how He was acquainted with all my ways. That He knew what I was going to say before I did. Winston was familiar with that. I shared about how I loved the portion in Psalm 139, where it speaks of His precious thoughts towards us, being more then every grain of sand in the ocean. Me… and I pointed to Winston, and said ‘you too Winston’. He agreed with me.
Please pray for Winston, that all sunk in and that he has understood and believed (as it seems), and that I made it clear for him. Pray for his healing from his tragic accident. He liked Tom’s booklet a lot, said it was very clear, so I asked if he’d also like to see the video, it is below, but I’ll place the link here for any who haven’t seen. He watched it on my computer next to Adam while I took a moment to step out to make a phone call.
Pray for those in there who have no visitors. Pray that if the Lord wants me to visit someone, He will make a way. It is hard with the system of patient privacy. Also please pray for clarity of mind, strength, courage to accomplish paperwork, be organized, and that all will just continue to go smoothly. I have more I could say, but then it will be too long.
I’d like to sing Red Robin’s praises more, what a wonderful group of people. No wonder Adam loved it so much. But I’ll share tomorrow Lord willing ❤
The PT is not going to comply with the doctor as of now, I don’t have all the details, and I am not going to fret, but asking you all to continue to pray about it.
Yesterday Doctor Ibrahim said he had convinced the therapists to continue Adam’s physical therapy. That is great news for us and a quick YES to our answer for prayer. Adam texted me, my friend gave him the cell phone and told him to text his mom. He got the time 2:26 and also Love and besides the keys that didn’t make sense, some readable tings were fax it to add of, Dr, Love, If it’s, gfgh GH, of a couple, The first week, and OK ooh that.
He also wrote her name without prompting in cursive, e was backwards again. In printing then he does it right if he does a large E as he did when I believe he was telling us to cover his shift at Red Robins.
She was practicing counting with using his other hand too. His left hand is weak, but she got him to put up one finger to make six. She wanted to check his focusing and tracking. We know he is having some vision problems, so she told him, ‘Touch my finger Adam’, (holding it out about a foot and a half), so he touched her finger. He did it in several different places and she said he did great with his right, and is more flexible with the left, just unable to do it.
She was so touched, she laid her head on his left shoulder, and said to Adam, “I can see how hard you are working”.
Then after they worked a bit more, Adam patted his shoulder, and she asked if he wanted a hug, so he patted his shoulder again, she put her head there, and Adam put his arm around her and patted her.
Last night, after leaving Adam’s I got to Jason’s I think around 8 to have dinner with his family who is in town, but his sister-in-law and niece still hadn’t arrived, they finally made it around 10, but I needed to get going, I had promised a friend, I would help her with some babysitting. She was watching her 21 year old nephew, who has severe cerebral palsy and mentally handicapped, with many seizures as well. Also her 13 year old niece and her friend. So I got there around 10:30 and she went off to the store. Long story, cute evening, but my highlight was when I had Quin covered up and laying back on the couch. He is frail and we had a fire on. He was saying ‘coldy cold’ so I had covered him and began to rub his slender little feet, he began to nod. His sister came and laid her head on my shoulder for a moment, I prayed in my head for them both. Later, I set the girls up with some hot chocolate, and cookies, nacho’s, reese’s peanut butter cups and a banana for good measure (the spoils of my friend’s shopping trip) 🙂 I brought it into their room on a tray, (days of tea parties floated around in my little girl’s head). These days the girls are a little too grown up, but I think they lost a few years as I got them an extra comforter, they turned the lights down and soon began to drift away.
I was sitting back on the couch with Quin and remembered back to when I had sung ‘Jesus loves you’ to Adam, and he squeezed my hand. I sang it to Quin. He gave me the biggest, sweetest, toothie grin, as if completely understanding that Jesus loved him and it filled him with inexpressible joy. I called for his aunt, and she said, ‘just a minute’ and I said, “no, please come now” and I explained as she rushed out it was fine, just be nonchalant and slow, that I wanted to show her something. He was staring straight ahead, expressionless, covered to the chin, and I had draped my flannel jacket around him too. He seemed very relaxed. I started to sing “Jesus loves Quin this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves Quinney, yes, Jesus loves Quinney, yes Jesus loves Quinney, the Bible tells me so. He got the same huge, wide, peaceful smile, showing every tooth that he owned. His eyes lit up, and both she and I silently cried. It was quite a day.
We got out the blow up mattress, and made the bed, and he got up and said, “Quinney’s bed”? And he loved it. He settled in, the fireplace (a glass glow one) was still going and we left it on till he fell to sleep.
Adam has had a few visitors, my friend was there to watch him for morning and early afternoon, his sister Baylie is with him now giving me the day off. So the boys and I are off for a BBQ with Jason’s family shortly. I still have my feet up 🙂 It’s quiet and peaceful, for that I am grateful. Love in Christ to you all.
P.S. – some have asked me how I do this. I have the Lord, and most importantly, He has me ❤
Lots of things have gone on in the last several days, some good, some bad. Some hard, and some moments of breathing easy. We appreciate your prayers, and I am very grateful for the doctor I have. They told me yesterday and again today that they are discontinuing PT and OT for the moment because he is uncooperative. I asked for an example, and they told me when they asked, he wouldn’t put his hand on the table. Today, they came down bedside and we worked on sitting him up and leaning him from one side to the other. He seemed in pain, but afterwards when we finished and got him situated back in bed, I leaned over and said in his ear, “Adam, I am on your side. And I am here to help. I am not here for my health, but for yours. I told him I knew he was frustrated and probably in pain, but we needed to work through it together. I told him I loved him and he patted my arm.
Later his aunt came by and we did lots of things. She massaged his neck and feet and arms. He was enjoying it, but after awhile reached and pointed for his drawing table Amber has set up for him. At first he just drew what looked like waves and clouds and even a flat plateau mountain. Then on a clean sheet, he wrote out some words. He had already drawn in that spot, but I am sure it said, “Mother”, so I said “Wait, let me turn the page upside down”. He then wrote what looked like ‘any standard’, then did two very pointed arrows in that he wrote two parallel lines, and then did an arrow. Repeated two more lines below it, then an arrow, and wrote ‘your’. So I said out loud ‘any standard your‘? He looked at me frustrated (as if I were dumb) and then I got it. I asked, you wrote, “You understand me?” He was satisfied with that and put down the pen as if he finally got me trained.
Mother! I understand ⇒ you.
I told him I understood him too and I realized not as well as he probably wished and that had to frustrate him. His aunt Geri was there to share in the moment, but had to leave. I asked him to say bye to Geri and say her name. It took a minute, but Adam clearly mouthed, “Geri, Geri, Geri” with his whispered voice. She left, and we continued to draw some and drift off. He likes to ‘sleep draw’ too 🙂
Thank you for all of your continued prayers. His doctor came in cheerful and smiling and when I told him that the therapists said he was not cooperating and had told them “Leave me alone” and “No”, he said that was GREAT progress. I told him they were discontinuing the PT/OT for now, and he immediately said, “Oh no, I do not think that is a good idea”. He said he would talk to someone, and see if he could work it out to a more consistent schedule. He then told me that we were such a great group, always there, so supportive, they hadn’t seen something like that. He then said some sweet words, “God bless you”, he said. I don’t think he knew what that meant to me. He asked if he could do anything else for me, and I said “Yes”, and he asked me what. I asked if he’d keep taking care of Adam. I got tears in my eyes, and he said, “Yes, you have my word on that”.
His roommate is new, because there was an infection in the last room, but I continue to pray that his older roommate will improve. I also ask for prayer for Winston, who is the survivor of a gun accident. I asked him if there was something I could do for him, he texted me (can’t speak well from the pain sometimes) that he’d really appreciate if I’d do his laundry, so of course, that is a little thing. He was really in pain a little while ago, so I got him a warm rag for his head. Praying we can be of some help to him while he is there. I thank the Lord for wherever He takes us, even when we don’t want to go. He always has our best interests at heart. Love in Christ to you all.
P.S. please keep praying for Gloria, talked to her a little while ago in the hallway. So many lonely people in these places.
Dear Dr. Hu:
Not sure if you will remember us. We are the family you met with eleven days after Adam’s accident, in a little cramped room with a chaplain and a social worker. You told us why the neurology team was done with him, that he was not responsive or tracking with his eyes at all. Even when I protested, by explaining some of the things I had seen, you waited quietly for me to finish, and continued on as if I had not spoken. You told me these were simply reflexes and ‘infantile responses’. And then spoke right past me and told Adam’s father that Adam would remain in a ‘vegetative state’ the rest of his life.
We forgive you Dr. Hu, and are praying sincerely that you will learn about the importance of not rushing to judgment in such a short time. I do understand how maybe this is the way some work in hospitals, and you might believe you have to do the hard thing (and it may very well be hard for you). And that you might somehow feel that you are doing families service by not giving false hope. But we strongly believe it can do great harm to someone’s future. And that is a disservice to make such a quick and grim prognosis. I wonder how many walk away from loved ones, or just give up on speaking and working with them, because of listening to the recommendations of a doctor such as you were with us. But I really do pray you might learn about the miracle of the way God made us. I hope that Adam soon will walk in and shake your hand. I hope he might also meet the nurse that spoke in front of him and said how tragic he would be a vegetable the rest of his life (not verbatim – just briefly summarizing her thoughtless conversation in front of Adam). For both of you, and others in the healthcare industry who have become dull and hardened, please allow for some hope, do not completely quench it nor matter how much you think you may know and have seen.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
Yesterday, Adam spoke audibly again to several people, saying ‘Hi’. He focuses in and out on how to use his voice. The RT therapy said she heard his “Adam voice” instead of a “trach voice”. On Friday, his brother Jessup (16) stayed with him as I was at the hospital with my family member. Jessup told me that the speech therapist came in, and asked Adam his name, and he said “Jessup”.
Since Friday, he has been doing a very good job counting with his fingers 1 through 5 and also backwards.
Tonight as he was drawing, Adam wrote his first legible words.
He needs help moving the page as he writes, as usually what might be letters are on top of each other. I am not even disappointed that they were not ‘mom’ or ‘I love you’, or something along those lines.
The first two words Adam wrote were ‘Dear Diary’. He wrote Dear, then wrote Diary on top of Dear. The E’s were backwards, and the letters were not all the same size, but these were some pretty sweet words. Then he wrote, ‘RED ROB’ this time the E was in the right direction. And it spoke volumes. We believe we understand what he was trying to express from his heart. He has been working at Red Robin Restaurant for quite some time. He loves them like family, along with so many of the guests there. And guess what? They have treated us also like we are family, with my kindness in this very difficult time.
I sincerely hope that every single one of you will go eat at Red Robins in support of Adam. (Find one near you). I love their fish and chips, french dip, gourmet burgers… Our group would go there after Bible study and continue on until they closed. I do warn about the wonderful, bottomless rootbeer floats 🙂 Thank them for us on behalf of Adam Hixson. Specifically if you llive in town, visit the restaurant at 8970 E. Shea Blvd., Scottsdale, AZ 85260. Or call them and ask for the manager Brock at (480)661-7114. Would you please tell them how much they mean to us?
Adam drew for awhile over the words, (which we can still see some of) and Amber forgot to get a picture of the original writing, she was so concentrating on not losing the moment and letting him continue. But he wrote a third thing which we think was ‘cover’, and she made sure to get a picture before he scribbled over it. He looks quite intent on writing or drawing very quickly.
It seemed appropriate, that shortly after Adam wrote, we had a 4.1 earthquake in a place that supposedly doesn’t have them. But what transpired before that was much more than a small quake in the desert to us.
Dear friends, there is always hope. God is so gracious, so merciful, so loving and kind in the most difficult of circumstances. We never know what might happen, and when our lives might end, or change forever. But this God I know, cares for each and every human being, no matter who or what they have done. He came as a Savior for all, to all who will believe upon Him for eternal life. My father knows where he is going if he dies in his situation. Adam knows the same, we talked about it again before the accident.
Today is the date my beloved Gilbert, went to be with my beloved (Jesus). Gilbert was a good dad also to Adam for 19 years along with his other 9 children. My good friend Harry, and then my friend Nancy died shortly thereafter. Both had the extreme blessing of coming to understand what one must do to be saved. But it was on their death bed. You might not all have that chance. Dear friend, are you sure that you know where you will go if something happened to you today? This is not about religion, this is about what Jesus Christ did for you in your place, not about what you can do to earn your way to heaven. You cannot be good enough, I know I am not good enough, no one is.
Your prayers matter. Your support matters. Your love for us matters. We love you all so much, I think if I could absorb this in my state, my heart would not be able to contain the feelings that would consume me. My body has been somewhat complying, I don’t know how to describe it as we continue to move him, challenge him, read the Word to Him, massage his hands and feet, play music for him, try new things (like frankincense, myrhh, cedarwood oil, and clove — sometimes in epson salts, or even vicks). We have put on boxing gloves with weights, splints, high top boots, neoprene wraps, and towel wraps with different scents. Hours of research to search for standard therapies and new therapies. And of course there is the art class at night — markers, crayolas, chalk with acoustical or classical music playing in the background — anything we can think of to stimulate him.
The days have run together, but then a day like this comes, and our cup runneth over. Pray that the Lord continues to renew his mind daily, and to bless those who continue patiently to minister to him, to love on him, and to just be there for us. Help us to also be a light for others in that facility, many who do not have loved ones to visit. Love in Christ to all of you. Wish I could give each and every one of you a hug, but know my prayers are also there for you all. God is so good no matter what we deal with.
Update 10-31-2015 evening.
We were listening to a little bit of this sermon together, “Who will be left behind”? (I decided to listen to the rest of what I didn’t finish with my dad last night). A CNA came in and so we put it on pause so we could reposition him.
Adam demonstrated quite a round of counting for us both. I said the number out loud as he put up one, two, three, four, five fingers…again – two, three, four, five. I praised him, “GOOD ADAM!” He continued in rapid succession: two, three, four, five — two, three, four, five — sometimes one, two, three, four, five. He did it over and over and the CNA said how good it was too, then we got him into a pretty comfortable position, and he is now having a nap while I listen to the rest of the sermon. He was taken around this morning by Dori after his shower for a Elvis impersonator and also for a time sitting outside in the courtyard, so I think his day has been full. His left eye is a little bloodshot. I had the nurse look at it, but he seems happy and healthy. Thank you all for your continued prayers ❤ In Christ’s love to all my friends, all Adam’s friends, my family and loved ones. God bless you all.
Sorry for the delay in the updates. Two days ago, my friend Dori was in with Adam during speech therapy. When I arrived, she told me beaming, that I had just missed him speaking out loud two different phrases. They were; “Hi Mom” and “Hi Dori”. Trouble is, we can’t seem to frequently get Adam to repeat things, seems he wants to move on to the next trick 🙂 He does seem to be more alert, and more focused these last few days.
Please pray for my family as we continue to deal with difficulties in navigating the medical community. Ask for protection from those who have this mentality of death all the time. And to keep away those who would not have our best interests at heart. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say that it’s amazing the attitudes of some who swore to ‘do no harm’.
I was able to briefly share with the valet at the hospital how we never know what might happen to any of us, so I asked him if he’d please do me a favor and read the booklet I handed him on how anyone can be assured of going to heaven when they die. He seemed very sincere when he promised he would, so I pray I might see this young man again one day soon. God bless you all.
You know being in the hospital and also Adam’s facility can sure make you weary. Time is slow, but precious as you want to make sure you do the best by your loved ones, and also remember what Jesus said about the two greatest commandments. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and others as yourself.
I fail daily, but with the Lord’s help, sometimes I am able to reach out to someone and let them know the Lord cares. Please hold Chris, Cristina, Larry, Roxy, Bob, Gloria, Vanessa, Shalicia, Natasha, Steve, Grace, Suzette, Suzie, Mona, Gordon, Cara, Ying, Mariella, Sneezy, Maria and Kelly up in your prayers as your read this. Some are lonely patients, some are staff, appreciate the prayers for all and those I didn’t remember to name. Please specifically also pray for those with TBI patients, the caregivers who are bone weary, and the patients in frustration walking through this dark valley. Thank you all for reading, praying, and commenting ❤
In Christ, Holly
Life is short, this I know very well. Do you know where you would go if something happened to you tonight?
How to go to Heaven – video
Today was a consult for the medications with a PA with Barrow’s Neurological Rehab department. They made some changes to his medicine, they are adding another muscle relaxant with less side effects, because they still say he is very ‘tonal’. Then they are adding provigil, which I’ve been asking about for awhile. They feel he has a ways to go before he can handle the 3 hour a day PT/OT/ST regimen, and for that, he’ll be consulting the Doctor this coming January. Trusting God for His timing and for Adam’s continued healing. He did very well, giving thumbs up even with his weak left arm. He also stuck his tongue out upon request, and even further out when asked. He tracked with his eyes, clenched his hands, pushed and pulled, gripped and kicked, put up one finger, and even pointed to the P.A.’s tie, as if expressing approval of the design (which he seemed extremely interested in). So all in all, he had some good responses. We got back here early afternoon, I saw one of his RT’s (Steve) who was not working with Adam today, but helped me get to one of the Pulmonologists (who also was not working with him today) to talk to him about a steroid for his lungs. I put his splint on and did some more Range of Motion exercises. And then met with the doctor and the Dynasplint representative for the splints for his feet. I had a consult with the pulmonologist (Dr. Manny) regarding those steroids, (seems he’s been wheezy and some of the RT’s felt it might help), and he came down and took a listen to his lungs, and was more than willing to do it. As far as the primary care, Dr. Ibrahim came in and discussed the medications with me, and was very helpful. Very Thankful for him. Thankful for all of you, for your prayers, and all your caring for us.
This will be sort, it’s been a long weekend again. Another immediate family member in ICU, so was there Thurs. night, as I am MPOA, and yesterday was a long day as likely today will be. I have someone going in this morning, so just a short note while sipping by coffee in solitude. We thank you all for continuing in prayer. None of us know what the next day will bring.
I did have a nice surprise as my daughter and son-in-law came down from Colorado and are taking the boys to the zoo this morning. We all had a late night dinner last night around 9 p.m., and it’s a lazy morning for me today. Resting my weary feet.
Yesterday they seemed a little short staffed again and although he got OT, somehow missed PT again. I worked him out myself and got his dynasplint brace on (a workout in itself).
I was waiting for a few hours just to get him out of bed and into a wheelchair. I overheard the staff talking about food and pizza and wanting it, so one of the staff spoke of a drive thru Little Caesars one block away. So while they were dressing Adam to put him in a wheel chair I said I was going to run and get pizza for them. They protested, but not too vigorously, so I went and grabbed five pizzas and a tray with french bread and deep dish pizza. Really quite efficient. If I liked pizza I would remember, but I certainly will for them. Of course I had my big purse which holds whatever goodies I bring for Adam along with my laptop and hadn’t worked out how I was going to manage to juggle it all inside. So I pulled back into the parking lot, and spotted only an open doctor’s space by the front door. I pondered my dilemma, (but not for long) and pulled into the handy spot. I told myself I’d go directly back out and move after the delivery. Quite like Lucille Ball, I began to balance the pizzas and purse as I slid out of Jason’s high truck (he was putting tires on my vehicle). I was trying to slide out with everything (without dropping it) and my elbow got stuck on the horn. It blared straight into the cafeteria windows where everybody whipped their heads and saw this flush-faced blonde, flannel-shirt wearing. NON-doctor stumbling out of the noisy truck. I quickly shut the door and ran straight into one of his doctors whose space I was likely in. He was quite cordial 🙂 I told the nurses I was parked in one of the doctor’s spots so I had to hurry. They told me their rounds were already over, but even so, they needed exercise lol! I know I sure didn’t. I got back to Adam and we went to the family room, which we didn’t stay too long for several reasons which I won’t bore you with. Amber showed up and we went back to the room where I’d left some pizza for her too, but we were struggling to keep Adam from sliding out of his chair. Finally about 8:30 they got him back in bed and she told me later it wasn’t much longer before he was sound asleep.
Monday comes his evaluation for the physical rehab doctor at Barrows. Would sure appreciate prayer for that. ❤ Love in Christ, Holly
Update evening 10-20-2015
Really this should have been updated yesterday, but have been too tired. I never walked so fast and did so much to make sure some things happened for Adam. But after I went up to Physical therapy, I could see they were overloaded. They were short staffed and they were trying to do double duty. Adam was exhausted. Last week they were taking him in the morning, now they’ve been taking him about 1 again. Not sure why the changes, but trying to wake him sometimes just isn’t that successful.
He was supposed to have a fitting for his brace, sometime after 2, so after OT was unsuccessful at waking him up, we got him back downstairs and I helped the CNA get him back in bed. He was pretty tired, so I let him rest so that he would be ready for the fitting. So I got a call in the middle of trying to get him back into bed, and although I couldn’t answer, his brace was on the way. We did the fitting, he explained to me the schedule, which increases over the days to more and more hours, and then the tension increases. I carry the tool with me so no one else will be doing that. We got all the paperwork filled out and it was about 5. I asked him if he’d like a brownie. Jason had made them and they had a Bible tract on them with a thank you from Jason. He said he would love one. But before I got around to the cabinet, I asked if he made splints and boots for the feet. I explained Adam had drop foot and an inverted left ankle. I can’t remember exactly why he asked, but the knowledge of terminology and maybe confidence in knowing some things, I had shared I had a intimate relationship with the inside walls of hospitals, acute care, sub-acute cares, skilled nursing facilities, rehabs, etc., my husband, my mom and most especially recently my dad. He said something about how I must be a really strong person. I told him actually I was not, and that it was the Lord who was giving me strength. He said that was good, and that, we needed faith. I got him the brownie with the tract, and we started talking shop regarding the fitting for his feet. He said he could help me out.
He said he’d need a doctor, and I said, “Let’s go find one”. So I zoomed out of the room (he was a tall drink of water so I figured I better start with a fast pace). Halfway down we ran into the nurse, and I asked if Dr. Manny was in. She said, “Not yet, no way to tell when”, so we headed back and Ken (dynasplint) said we could get some paperwork started, and if I could get it printed, filled out, then faxed, he’d email it to me and show me what to fill out. So there were a few hurdles, then I said, let’s go to the medical records room and get this printed out. We were hauling past the front desk when I did a double take and in mid speed walking yelled, “Dr. Manny”! We screeched to a halt, and I introduced Ken and we sstarted talking about what Adam needed. I headed on to the medical records department, because I couldn’t network with the front printer. I got back to the records and couldn’t network with that printer, so I asked the social worker Megan if I could email it to her and she could send it to the printer. We had a printed page… except…. out there Ken and Dr. Manny were filling out paperwork. Long story short, we both went back to Megan with the second set of filled out paperwork to get printed, then hauled back the opposite way to track down Doctor Manny on his rounds for a signature. We found him almost down to Adam’s room. We got a signature, almost ran back to the medical records to fax over to his office. Fax wasn’t working. Light bulb went off in my head. I said, “Megan, the front printer has to have a fax on it doesn’t it? Would you mind doing this for me so it gets it?” She complied happily, we walked back to the front desk, and we had two new foot braces and one boot ordered in that short of a time, which will help immensely with the drop foot I sure pray…
We said goodbye, he went off with his brownie and tract, and I scooted back to the room, just in time for Manny’s rounds with Adam. We’ve been using Frankincense and Myrhh, along with Cedar wood and clove. Seems like the Frankincense can be very helpful in waking up the brain.
Today I was determined to get through to the Barrows referral, and I made several calls. I wasn’t successful in the morning, in fact, I was cut off, I left a message, and then the person at the message called me back to tell me I had hit the wrong prompt. Transferred me again and then got a message machine. So tried again in the afternoon, trouble is, you just move and you lose a call. Long story short, she called me back, I got it and we see a physician’s assistant in that office on Monday. I have to follow through on making sure he is transferred, but I emailed Megan for that too, so I’m sure it’ll get done. I have been praying for the right timing so you can’t get too worked up. As for my own doctor’s appointments, well they haven’t called back, I did also try morning and afternoon, seemed as if it was a struggle to get through to the right person. When I finally did, I got a message machine again, so left another, and am content to wait and see for now.
Adam got up on the elliptical and did a few on his own. He is able to move his legs more, and is actually pulling them fully up to a bent position, which is helpful for me physically, the ROM exercises can be tiring. And putting on his arm brace today was quite the workout, however, once it was on, the ROM was easier.
Pray that the upcoming appointment, they’ll be able to identify whether he is taking too much muscle relaxant, sleeping too much, or if this is about to be expected. Thanks always for all your prayers, I sure appreciate it, and know that the Lord is answering in so many wonderful ways.
A long time ago, I saw what was probably a comic strip, may have been Maxine, I can’t remember. But today’s starting post is along those veins. I have more to fill in later.
I’ve done pretty well today. I haven’t gotten angry (inappropriately) with the kids. I haven’t been upset with bad drivers on the road. I haven’t been uptight with one nurse, CNA, doctor, or therapist. I haven’t been ungrateful towards others and have prayed before I speak to someone or make decisions. I haven’t snapped at a friend (who is helping me). I haven’t lost my temper with anyone. But Lord, I really need your help right now. I’m about ready to get out of bed for the morning…
Yesterday, I prayed I would be able to follow Proverbs 3:5 acknowledge the Lord in more of my ways — to pray more before I speak, to trust in Him. Most of the day went very well, but there were some big down times also. Pray for our day today, which is already containing some strife and stress, some difficulties that seem sometimes so frustrating since I just want to get things accomplished, and sometimes it seems very hard. I want to do right by all my family. I want to do it in a way pleasing to the Lord. But like Paul said in Romans 7 (paraphrasing), “I want to do right, but about that time, I find myself doing the very thing I do not want to do.”
Please pray for me to get those things accomplished that I need to do. It seems so hard and time consuming and mostly frustrating. Multiple calls to get through one time for a doctor’s appointment. Multiple messages. No returned calls. Start it over again. Multiple snags and snafu’s along the way. People who are resistant to being asked questions or sometimes downright hostile, and you’re too fatigued to figure out another way to ask. Pray for my patience and grace. Please keep praying for Adam and I’ll fill you all in more later today about the good parts of yesterday. 🙂 Praying for many of you, it helps. Praying for others is what He tells us to do in 1 Tim 2:1-6. It helps keep our mind off of ourselves, and it helps others in the process. Pray for your needs, and pray for those whose paths you cross. You never know what it may mean one day.
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in Him.
Adam made grandma cry.
My mom came this afternoon, we worked him, we listened to part of a sermon by Tom Cucuzza, and we were talking and thought it would be good to get him in a wheel chair. She tried many times to talk to him but he was not paying attention. When she was leaving, we were out in the cafeteria room watching football, and she said goodbye and told him, “Grandma loves you”. He mouthed, “grand-ma” and she said, “He said grandma”. I agreed, and he said it again, so she said, “I love you”, and he mouthed and made some sound with it, “Grandma, I love you”. It was slight but very apparent. She cried. So did I.
We sat there awhile more and he lifted his arm and put it on my shoulder and began to rub and pat me. His nurse came in and said, “Oh my gosh, I should take a picture of that”. I asked her to take a video, even though he was fading fast, he still finished rubbing my neck and my back (which is what we had been doing to him earlier).
My friend Debby showed up later, and it seemed like he recognized her and was also trying to say Debby. He drifted off and so we left and now I am in bed and resting, and thankful. Thankful for the Lord’s goodness to me, thankful for all of you…
Each day dawns and it seems like there wasn’t enough night to recoup for the next day. But when things like this happen, it is enough to keep us going. Please keep praying for us, and keep praying for Chris and Christina and their two little ones.
Thanks to all my friends and family. You know who you are, the ones who have visited and stayed to watch over Adam to give me a rest. Those who have brought meals. The one who is homeschooling for me at the moment. The same one who is taking care of my car battery and tires. The ones who have sent some support. Those who have prayed for us. Those who have emailed or texted support. Those who have baked cookies and brownies for the staff to enjoy. Seven hours is like doubled when you are in the facility. The driving time wears you out too. So even those who come for three hours plus drive, trust me when I say it is like a full day of hard work. Pray for them and thank you for continuing to pray for me and my son Adam <3.
A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Today is a piece of news that I don’t think I can deliver without crying. I think for the first time, I have cried appropriately. Tears have been stemmed most of the time, but today was too much to bear. I heard he had a good physical therapy session, they took him early and so I went upstairs to talk to Gordon (who has him part of the time) and the cute dark-haired young PT whose name escapes me at the moment. I wanted to hear.
I had heard earlier, that he had stood on the parallel bars (PT was before anyone arrived today — early). I almost thought they made it up because none of us were there to prove that was true or not 🙂
Anyhow, when I was speaking to Gordon, he said that he had done a very good job. In fact he added that Adam had given one finger up as an answer as to whether or not he wanted to do it again. Most assuredly he was saying yes.
He then proceeded to say with his fingers, “I want to walk”, by showing him his two fingers doing the walking. Gordon said Adam was very specific with this movement, so was the younger therapist. I gave him a sincere, quiet thanks, (my Santa Claus looking PT), and the tears no longer stayed back as I gave him a sideways hug. I then went to the beautiful girl and also gave her a tearful hug and thanks which seemed so woefully inadequate.
I left the gym, and two darling little Mexican boys were waiting for someone. They tried not to stare at me with my tears (they obviously noticed), yet they acknowledged back with little toothy white smiles, when I smiled at them and said hello.
I was wiping tears all the way back to the room, and Adam is napping now in the dark, so no one can see the continued flow of grateful tears upon my cheeks, running down my face, leaving streaks of sheer joy.
But I don’t care if anyone sees, I am so thankful. Thank You Lord, and thank you all for praying.
It reminded me of this prophecy in the Old Testament of the coming of the Christ (Messiah) Jesus.
Say to those who are fearful-hearted,
“Be strong, do not fear!
Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you.”
Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert. Isaiah 35:4-10
Second update from the speech therapist for 10-15: I wanted to let you know I saw Adam this morning when the room was quiet with no interruptions and he did awesome!! He wore the speaking valve and was able to imitate me saying ‘eee’, ‘aaah’, ‘yes’, and ‘no’. Both the quality and intensity of his voice were normal. He also followed a lot of directions and participated very well. He did not answer questions with his voice but did use the thumbs up and thumbs down.
This picture is what Adam did on his own last night. Amber just gave him a pen, and he made a lot of purposeful strokes The end product looked like Tanner, the woodle (Wheaten Terrier/poodle mix) that lives at his house, and the drawing of a cloud. It wasn’t just scribbling, interesting to watch the video.
I found out that yesterday he did not go to physical therapy. This is not the first time, a couple times were due to no wheelchair, so OT just worked it at his bedside. The therapist said it was because of ‘behavioral issues’. My friend asked her what that meant, and she said he was ‘combative’. She didn’t give her examples so I’m not sure how Adam would display these things, but this is a stage that I hope they will learn to work around. Pray for us that we might watch for his care, without crossing any lines or hurting someone in the process.
Pray for the right physical therapists too please. He also had trouble with speech therapy today because the neighbors had loud music on and lots of noise, and Adam just could not concentrate. I know things are not perfect in these places, but praying for the right timing on everything, and that I might learn when is the time to press, and when is the time to hold back. Trying to pray for all things.
Today started realllly early, the cock had not even crowed… (o.k., might be a teensy exaggeration) but it was early because we had a morning appointment downtown with the Superior Court. More paperwork snafu’s, but I had already prayed about the way it worked out, to be in God’s timing, so I’m resting in that and it didn’t upset me I had to get up at half past dark 🙂 . We did our part. We have some more things to get correct along with a court appointed attorney, and we didn’t get that done in time.
Met with a serious accident along the way here, and 3 lanes on my side were blocked, and many police cars blocking the entire way, very upsetting but prayed for whoever they were, and took some side streets. Today was shower day, and we know how much Adam loves that, I’m sure he was wishing they’d let it go forever, but we did a lot with teeth brushing which he’s always happy for. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Simple progress, but the Lord has sent many as support for us, please keep praying for those friends/family, that they might be blessed, kept well, and strengthened. Love in Christ, God bless those praying too ❤
P.S. One of the ladies that is frequently in the hallway, spoke more than answering my “hello, how are you?”. We had a little chat, I asked her name, told her I’d be praying for her. Will you too? Her name is Gloria. Thank you ❤
HOPE – is a ballad written by my friend Melinda’s husband Mark, who has become a friend too. Mark is also a brain injury survivor, and dedicated the first song at this link to Adam today. The entire lyrics can be seen on this same link too.
Each day — seems like it brings new challenges. Paperwork that needs filled out. Paperwork sent back. Paperwork filled out again. First court date tomorrow morning for guardianship so we will be able to handle his bills and things, some we can’t see due to not being able to access his accounts. Details… We struggle with our own strength, emotional and mental fatigue, yet in it God always provides a set of hands, or help somewhere. It was a difficult weekend, they were most definitely short staffed. Adam is very fortunate in that someone is with him early morning to after midnight daily. Many in there do not get visitors, it is heartbreaking. Overwhelming at times to see them alone, embittered, too hurt (it seems) to want to even respond when you speak to them. Some do, some are withdrawn.
Adam continues to do new things. In Physical Therapy on Friday he noticed his image in the shiny red roll they had his arms resting on. His therapist Gordon, recognized that is what Adam was doing by keeping his head down, and got a full length mirror. From that point on, Adam stood up tall. He had a good therapy session. Which is good because he’s missed a few days standing due to a missing wheel chair. Then they brought a wheel chair that was seriously in need of being ditched somewhere 🙂
It had screws sticking out in several places, the arms did not stay put, if you pulled on the arms (i.e., from the front to pull the chair forward) the arms came up and out in the back. He had a coughing moment, and it was the wrong kind of chair for him, and he slid right out. I had only made it to the nurses station as I attempted to hold him in the chair while I called for help. We got him readjusted, and then went to the family room where the birds are, and that didn’t last long before he started to slip. I got my knees in front of his and attempted to slide him back and got his feet back up and got him back to the room asap. He was slipping more by the time I got there. I sat in a chair in front of him with the brakes on and my legs and knees holding his legs and knees in. We had to wait about an hour before someone could help get him back in bed. I got quite a workout let me tell you 🙂
He is coughing quite a bit more, they changed his nebulizer treatment, not sure if that was a good idea or not, but we’re going to ride it out a few more days before looking for different answers. I made two different types of cookies, those went quickly, so time for more I guess.
He is enjoying drawing and scribbling with Amber at night, PT also works with him, sometimes it seems he gets some letters out, other times, lines or circles over and over. His eyesight is crossed, he had a lazy eye as a boy that was operated on, and e is back there to the same lazy eye. When we can get him to the point of responding more consistently we’ll be able to get his eyes checked.
Besides court hearing tomorrow, I am hoping to hear from the Barrow’s neurological rehab referral, so please keep us in your prayers, for the right timing, the right people. Please pray for the strength and health of those who have been of much help to us in this time. I thank you all who have been a support in other ways, and who have been encouraging us here on this blog. Please pray also for Jason’s continued strength as he continues another several weeks of radiation. Love in Christ to you all, Holly
Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart ❤ Jeremiah 15:16a
This update really belongs on the 6th, but thought I’d save the one last piece of good news. Thank you for the prayers for today’s appointment for me, the traffic, whew, but the doctor spent a long time with me once I got in, plus he had a medical intern in there, was really a good appointment. Got the referral sent off today, and a lot of good help. Adam’s friend sat in all day for me, and so that was huge. Gave me time to call about the referrals, leave messages for those, deal with a couple of the boy’s teachers, (online home schooling) and set up some testing times for my one student.
Here’s the big news. Yesterday evening, before I left, the RT had suctioned him and so she put the speaking valve back on and was working on the roommate. He started coughing and she said “Wow, he’s got a loud cough, sounds like he’s getting his voice back”. I mentioned how I’d been working on ‘mom’ but had only been able to get him to mouth it once (which was great). I told her the story of the text Adam had sent me about him telling me how great of a woman and a mom I was, (she was touched) and so I teased, and said to Adam, “You should say MOM so she can hear it”. I leaned over and Adam was mouthing ‘m’ but all of the sudden, ADAM SAID MOM!!! The RT, Mariella ran over and grabbed my arm and said “I heard it, that gave me chills!” I was just already in a place where I was almost in major fatigue from all the joy and emotions of the day, it was surreal.
My cup runneth over.
Love to you all ❤
Update 10-6-2015 (The GOOD – no bad, no ugly)
I sing because I’m happy… (From “His eye is on the Sparrow)
And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God:
many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:3
Our visit with the neurosurgeon (Dr. “Rocky” Marciano) went very well. I had to fill out forms with a number two pencil, I felt like I was back doing the SAT’s. It was pretty time consuming and how do you actually answer questions that the patient is designed to answer regarding pain, etc?…
Jason, Adam’s father Ron and I all went to the appointment. I first answered a few questions from the nurse, and I worried, because I could see he was getting tired. Jason thought the light was bothering his eyes, (because he pointed up to the ceiling), so we flipped it off and sat in the dark until the Physician’s assistant came in.
I admit I was disappointed, (not in him), he was a very nice, thorough and encouraging man. I was just afraid that meant I would not see Marciano. The PA went over Adam’s CTscan, and told me the bleeding had dissipated and although there was a little edema, there was not much, and he said it would likely go away on it’s own. He said the brain stem and cerebellum looked great, and that Dr. Marciano would be very happy. Then he gave me the good news, that the Doc was next… Yay! So the namesake of Rocky Marciano came in, gentle and direct. Looks you straight in the eyes, no condescension, very happy with the choice. Once he started talking, I couldn’t remember a darn thing at that point because right when I heard him say he was referring to a Barrows physician, I think I lost my mind with joy. He feels he needs someone other than this skilled nursing facility to take over his medications and set up a real rehab plan suited for his specialized injuries, but he needs to be able to do three hours of therapy a day. So, he says with the medications being moved around, he thinks it looks like it may be possible if we can keep up with his exercises and get him up to doing that. We know with God all things are possible, so we rest in Him. The two told us that we’re looking at a year to a year and a half time plan. I’m looking to my next step, sufficient for today are the troubles therein. Today was a great day.
It was Adam’s dad’s birthday today, he said it was the best gift… I would have to agree, I’m sitting with Adam as he lightly snores through his speaking valve. The leg sleeves I brought in (for runners) seems to work very well for his spastic arm, and he still has it relaxed out. I keep trying new things all the time.
The awful cervical collar is gone!!! Another praise to the Lord, because this should have likely come off earlier but they didn’t make the appointment soon enough. So he should be far more comfortable. And it should be easier to care for his shampoos and such. We just had our mouth care (I do an additional one and he loves it, Adam was always good at taking care of his teeth). He is snoozing again, I don’t have the heart to pester him right now, so I’m sitting here in peace with him, looking at his relaxed face as I clack on my keyboard. Thank goodness I learned to type without cheating 🙂
I also have another follow up appointment for myself before a referral for a procedure, appreciate a prayer for that too to be quick, so my time is not diminished with Adam. Jason and I also have at least two more court visits, Jason has taken over the bulk there, but I have to be there for the hearings. The paperwork is unreal. I don’t know what people do that do not have someone to look out for them. There are so many people who need care and there are not enough hands to help in these places.
Yesterday someone fell (slipped) out of the wheelchair, and there was no one to help the CNA, so I ran and helped. She was pulling by his shoulders and he was going nowhere, I told her “wait, let’s get underneath his knees also, and carry him like a basket”. She complied and then we easily lifted this elderly man to his chair so he could be transported back to his bed. He didn’t speak, I don’t think he could, but he nodded to me in thanks although he was obviously really shook up. Bless his heart ❤ Lord.
Thank you all for your prayers, and continued prayers for Chris and Cristina. Chris has been moved to the skilled nursing facility that turned us down. Pray that he will get good care, Cristina seems happy with them for now, so thanks for keeping them in your prayers, for the little ones and this wife to have their father/husband returned to them and I pray as even better/and a mind renewed.
His new medication for his nebulizing treatments started today which we hope will help his heart rate not to race, and to also lesson the trembling/shaking.
Please also specifically pray for those who have stepped up to support physically with their time, to watch over and work on Adam’s therapies and cover me. They don’t want named, but please ask the Lord to bless each and every one of them and take care of their needs. Of course you all know Amber is there faithfully each night, so also please ask for a special blessing for her. I sure love you all, and today was just good, sans the bad and the ugly — God is so good (Psalm 107).
Update 10-5-15: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
I know, I know…it’s an old Western. But sometimes it’s how our days go. Unfortunately, it can oftentimes be how we behave in (and out of) stress, and sometimes it’s how others behave towards us. Today, I think it was a little of each so far, and so the tears flowed a little more freely.
I’ll spare you the bad and the ugly, and share that on the good side, Adam’s good friend was down this morning to be with him and to watch over him. I’ve met him before, a kind and good young man. But as he said when he left (that applies so well to me), “the Lord is not done with me yet”. I think I needed to hear that today.
A friend of mine baked some homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies over the weekend, and attached a thank you note and also John 3:16. Since it is the second day for the cookies, I told people to take two, especially his nurse and Respiratory therapist. Then his CNA’s came in and one of them also took two with her to go. There is not much in the way of snacks here, I do plan to bring some healthier ones too. But I confess, either doing it myself, or having someone do it, has been an easier path for the moment. Later we’ll see how it goes.
Adam’s nurse was back in for some work on the other roommate. She made me laugh. On her way out of the room she told me that someone wanted her second cookie. With a light Jamaican accent, and a little grin on her face, she told me she tore off the Bible verse and instructed them that when they had it memorized she would give them the cookie. Oh how that made me laugh! Especially as the Jamaican went to a mother voice.
I did Adam’s feet positioning, and some wedge work to raise his knees. Worked on his arms and did some oral care (which he loves and is very cooperative too)! So we spent some time on brushing and rinsing and spitting through suctioning.
He’s been sweating and pulse has been high, although he’s doing great right now. I talked to the RT about a substitution for albuterol since he’s been having some tremors/shakes and that can be one of the symptoms (along with a high heart rate), so he told me he thought the same thing and suggested a drug substitution. He also assured me that he would mention it to the doc when he came in tonight. I’ll be looking forward to Dr. Manny’s thoughts 🙂
I took a video (which if I’m able to figure out how to upload from my new phone), I will share soon. In it, I gave Adam a wash cloth after we did the oral care and told him to wipe his mouth. I thought, “Why isn’t this on video”? So I raced to get my phone as he wiped his mouth, and started the video. I also asked him to wipe the other side of his face (his left cheek). That side is difficult for him (or more difficult) with his right arm. He reached across and washed it, and then did his right side next. He still takes a slow amount of time to get to it. I told him a few times to clean his nose (which was glistening from sweat) and he did go straight up to the outside of his nose and washed it with the cloth. I then asked him to do his forehead (also shiny with perspiration) and he did his whole head. I’d say those things were the GOOD part of the day so far. God bless you all, and may your day be a good one, a God blessed one, and prayerfully not too much bad and ugly!
By the way, TOMORROW is our appointment with the neurological surgeon affectionately known as Rocky. Please pray for the Lord’s will in each step we take. Many thanks to those who have supported us in many ways, and for your prayers. Adam’s Mom <3.
Adam has been slowly weaned off of oxygen, and seems to be tolerating it. He’s been going through some agitation and irritation, which kind of suggests to me that he is working towards stage four on the Rancho Amigo scale. He is ranked a three now, and doing a lot of storming, which includes sweating and agitation and some confusion, along with increased heart rate. It keeps us all busy in occupying him.
Yesterday my friend was reading out of the book of John, and explained how one becomes a child of God. She was just going over what they had read; that Jesus came for us, but He never sinned, even though we do. That He shed His blood and died for us, for our sins in our place, and proved He was God by raising again for the dead. And that when we believed upon Him as our Savior, we are made children of God (going to heaven). Adam knows her from Bible study.
He was pointing to the keyboard on the wall, it seemed to her she was asking for it, so she went and got the keyboard, put it in front of his face asking him, “What do you want to tell me”?
And he pointed to the key I made with ‘Jesus loves you‘ and she repeated back “Yes he does”. Adam did it several times. She got excited, because he did it several times, so she said excitedly, “Yes, Jesus loves you and He loves me too”!
I got him some new leather high top shoes, a friend of mine that had a TBI suggested they would be helpful with drop foot that it worked for her. I also got a PT wedge for his ROM exercises, hopefully that will be helpful, but he enjoyed pushing against it a lot today. I have some more tricks up my sleeve for tomorrow, Lord willing. Baylie and Gifford said they asked him how he is doing and he gave them an energetic thumbs up. They asked him if he could do it again, and he did it once again. Some times he’s wide awake, other times lethargic, other times fidgety and irritated, however, I believe it’s better than the alternative.
Amber is with him now, and he has learned to snap when he wants her attention. We were just chuckling about that a minute ago. Funny boy… Not necessarily a good thing to learn with women ❤
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, we all love you.
Yesterday in the evening, he got more awake and we were doing a little dancing to some music. I used his range of motion exercises and moved in time to the beat of the music. After awhile, I got over his face to see if he could focus on me. He started mouthing something, and I said, “what, do you want to say something”? He mouthed, “Mom”, I said, “did you just say mom???” He replied by mouthing “mom”. I know it could have been an ‘m’ but I was pretty certain he mouthed ‘mom’. Today, back to being asleep during therapies, so we’re working on that, he’s wide awake now of course… The dog therapy he was mainly asleep for unfortunately. We’ll try again though.
Today is my son Koby’s birthday, he is my youngest and has been very understanding (I hope) in not having me around as much. I have friends and family who will be doing dueling birthday parties, so he should have a nice time starting at about 4 pm today. Adam had a CT scan today, but I won’t have any answers for at least one week, maybe there won’t actually be a change on the scan itself, but regardless, we know WHO knows.
We are waiting for them to get him rearranged so he can have his canine service dog visit. I laughed so hard a few minutes ago, a young CNA, a precious thing (darling in fact) 🙂 , said, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Kim Basinger”? I started laughing, and was unable to speak other than to eek out a “no”, but was still chuckling when she assured me, “no, no, that’s a good thing, she’s an actress, and she’s beautiful”, and through my laughter, I choked out, “yes, I know who she is, but I don’t think she’s going to appreciate you saying I look like her”. RotfLolAcgu!!!! (Rolling on the floor laughing out loud and can’t get up). In fact, there might be a lawsuit pending after Kim reads this lol!
Anyways, I think the brownies my friend and mom made must have tasted really good because they’re buttering me up (still laughing as I type this).
Check back later this evening, if I can, I’ll upload a video of Adam with the dog.
Update 9-30 evening
From Amber: (she just emailed me this at around 11:30 pm, she is with him)
Adam just did the coolest thing. He kept pointing at the wall and I said “show me what you need”. He kept pointing at the wall and I took the keyboard down and brought it over and said “show me what you need”.
I pointed out the yes, no, and I don’t know. He pointed at the frowny face and I said “do you feel like the frowny face”, and he waved his hand and put his finger on the ‘I love you’ instead. I asked him to show me what he needs and he kept tapping his finger on the ‘I love you’. He did it 3 times. Then I asked if he was in pain and he pressed the ‘I don’t know’. I asked again and he did the same thing. Then he just put his hand on his head and stared at me, so I put the sign back on the door, kissed him on the cheek and said “I love you too”. 🙂
Thought it might touch you all as it did me… ❤
Update 9-29 evening
Adam’s dad was here when I came in today, and didn’t get to see him awake much, as he had already had his therapies. I have figured out that when I massage his arms and put lotion on, wrapping his arm tightly with a towel causes sort of a ‘thunder-vest’ effect. (The same ones that dogs use in storms). His tight left arm will relax much easier. They are still out of oral care kits, so we made do with a mouth sponge and some mouth wash and suctioning at the same time. He likes that, Adam always took care of his teeth. He is well looked after, has a great support system. Thank you Lord, and thank you all who are praying and supporting us.
Adam did show a new thing today with Speech therapy, he was able to give a thumbs up and thumbs down sign. All the nurses were telling us (my friend was there too) and throughout the day, different therapists mentioned it. I think he is doing a little bit of neuro-storming, which can be a good thing, but needs managed. He’s sweating a lot on his forehead, running a little temp at times, or is heated, and is also having rapid heart rates again. This shows signs of waking up, so praying here a little, there a little, Adam will come around as people continue to pray and minister to him in different ways. So many are the hands and feet of Jesus, and doing menial tasks, or seemingly little things that bring great rewards. A friend baked brownies and put them in individual bags with thank you notes for the staff’s care for Adam. They have been a huge success. The activities director said she’d be bringing her big dog in on Thursday, so that should be another great day.
I wish I could say there were lots more good changes on the weekend, more like it was a lot of things to deal with, and again, thankfully I had help for I am struggling. I am waiting here this morning for me to be safe enough to navigate the road for some blood tests, then off to see Adam. I have been awake for a couple of hours just spending some time praying (and some time on the heating pad), and some time thinking on things.
I was pondering how quickly we can make a mess of our lives sometimes, or even circumstances beyond our control can wreak havoc. Little by little (or even in great leaps), we can suddenly lose control of the life we’ve made here on earth. Our simple little lives become complicated, we become heavy with sorrow and our souls weary with pain. Our bodies can break down and suddenly we find ourselves in positions we may not want to be in. All I know is with the Lord’s help I can take a step, without it, I do not know where I’d be. He sends in help when I am exhausted and do not think I can keep going. When things are beyond my control, I can always count on Him — trust Him. When I weep in the night, I know joy will come in the morning. I understand it may not be this next morning.
I am no super woman, trust me. It’s why I need time with Him in His Word. As we go about fixing difficult situations in our lives, it becomes easier sometimes to neglect the very thing we need, time with the Lord. The Bible says that when my soul clings to the dust His Word revives me. With this situation with my son, my soul does melt from heaviness, again His Word revives me. I look at Adam, he is my little boy all over again, just in a full grown body. I believe he is in there, but I wait to hear him speak his first word, and don’t know when, or if that will be. I fight with his body so that it won’t fail, and I find my own failing at the same time. I’m ready to leave this world whenever my time is, because I know Jesus died for me, gave Himself for me, and because of that, I will be with Him. But I’m not ready for Adam to finish this way and I have other children that still need guidance.
God is good I know, and I’m praying continually for His help to get through this long journey. Things in me are tired that I didn’t even know I possessed. Guilt is heaped upon me for the others I fail in my life, the neglect I’m sure some of my children and loved ones feel. I share these things only for one reason. Because we were made this way. With feelings, emotions sometimes beyond our control. We were made to love, most of all, we were made to love God and we fail, some of us don’t love Him at all.
The two greatest commandments Jesus told us in the Bible, was to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength and others as ourselves. We were made to love Him like this, yet, I don’t think I’ve ever done that. Ever. And although I’ve loved others, let’s be honest, do we really love them as ourselves?
I don’t even know if I’ve tried enough, but even so, in my weakness, He helps me, in that He first loved me. I am so glad that I have Him by my side, to talk to, to listen to me, and to store my tears that don’t even pass my eyes, but remain inside, as I watch my son not watch me. I wonder if that is how the Lord feels sometimes with the human race. I know I cannot compare myself to Him, but sometimes I wonder about little things like that. He made us to love Him, to commune with Him, to know Him, but which one of us will open our eyes to see? Oh for the day Adam’s eyes are opened and he really sees me, and knows me, and loves me.
One thing I know, I once was blind, but now I see.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. I will try to update other things as they happen.
Today I had lots of help thankfully. I had an appointment that went way past the time, so there was someone with him in the morning and afternoon. I made a keyboard at the suggestion of another TBI family friend, to see if this may help him communicate. Seems like he doesn’t quite get it, but I have it down there and praying he will soon. Last night he seemed interested, I suspect he’d rather have a phone 🙂
We’re trying other things. I got some neoprene wraps, some epsom salts, a bucket for soaking, some new cream, a massager, and a will be bringing those down in a bit. Thankfully two of his friends covered this morning and early afternoon. We’re going to get a special heating pad too. We specifically need prayer for focusing, responding to commands, and alertness during therapies, along with some trouble with drop foot. Also unspoken prayer for things that the Lord knows, just for all his needs to be met, and for my stamina and health. I have some more of my own appointments this week, plus three birthdays coming up, so we’re busy. 🙂
My daughter brought in some sandwiches and cookies for the nursing and therapy staff, unfortunately my nurses, RT’s and CNA’s all missed out. So we’ll have to figure out something different 🙂 Amber says it’s time to bake more cookies. I just asked a friend who is good at making brownies and cookies if she’d be up for baking our bribes 🙂 Adam got some more massage therapy last night, and Sunday he’s going to have a different puppy visitor, his roommate’s dog, Tanner, who used to be our dog, so this should be quite interesting. Jason is going to take the boys and cook for them tonight and help them with their homework. Getting a little behind…
Update 9-24 evening
Adam meets Vader
We had a visitor in the evening. She had her 6 month old puppy with her which I asked if I could pick up and put with Adam. So she was happy to do so. Watch sleepy Adam revive when he feels this little warm puppy.
Yesterday he was too sleepy for therapies, unfortunately (timing-wise) he got a morphine at 10:45 am, and by the time the speech therapist was there he was zonked and couldn’t participate. At one p.m., he was still out but we (his friend Alan and I) took him up to physical therapy. Took ice patted on his face to help him wake up a little. He ‘stood’ with the help of the stand and the therapist, hoping today is a better day in therapy.
We talked with the doctors and nurses about ways we can more effectively time these things. He had a couple low heart rate issues, two nights ago he was in the 40s, same thing with a few nights before that. So I think we have it figured out, not to combine the anti-spastic (which is like a muscle relaxant) with pain killer.
Please continue to pray for my friend’s son, who was beat up (due to no fault of his own) and is on a ventilator and still in a comatose state. The Lord knows who he is, and we ask that he is kept safe and that the Lord will heal him, as we pray this for Adam.
We see some small improvement each day, like yesterday he was throwing the ball. (By the way, it was a ball my friend Allyson from Bible study let me take from her table lol! A decorative ball I do not think she is getting back). Bless her heart, he loved it. Unfortunately, the first video never was on. But he threw it. His friend Wendy came in and I left to go get some info from the nurse. My mom got a short video of her playing catch with him. She hugged him goodbye, patted his back and told her to pat hers which he did several times deliberately. We hope he will soon respond to the therapists themselves, pray for that next. Our new roommate is an older gentleman who was riding his bike going to get coffee when he was hit by a car. Please also pray for him. His family appreciates the prayers and is good with the Bible reading, music and sermons we play (which is nice to be compatible there, thank You Lord…).
Today, he has had speech therapy, praying his physical therapy goes well. Love in Christ to you all. Holly
Not sure why this passage has always kind of moved me so much, except it was the Lord of glory (Jesus) who was crucified for us. This was written probably 1000 years before He came.
Lift up your heads, O ye gates;
and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors;
and the King of glory shall come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
the Lord mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, O ye gates;
even lift them up, ye everlasting doors;
and the King of glory shall come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.
We try to get up Adam every day, his left arm is getting stiff, he was awake a great deal of the afternoon, so finally by about 8:30 pm they got him in the wheel chair. I think they were concerned he would slip out, but with this new chair design he does fine, so hoping we get to keep this particular chair for now. He also got shampooed and ‘exfoliated’. Amber brought in certain gloves and a treatment to use on him. He kept trying to help by grabbing the wash cloth and wiping his own face.
This morning, a friend of mine is with him, he is tracking with his eyes, following the ball that she brought for him that lights up. At first he didn’t notice but seemed to really wake up, and is tracking the ball back and forth. We’ve been working on trying to get him to track by moving to different parts of the room and calling for him, making sounds, or using objects, movement, his name, anything at all, even music on our phone. He does it for a moment or two, but not long. But it always seems that whatever we are working on, he ‘gets it’ the next day, which is great.
Yesterday, it took me hours to work on just his hands and arms, in between the things that have to take place with respiratory therapy and being moved, and other issues etc. It doesn’t usually take that long. He was stiffer on is left arm I believe, so praying it doesn’t stay that way, I’m going to have to work harder on ROM. They are looking into adding some into his therapy but only talking about two times, pray that they might look into more than twice. I will keep doing it anyways, but don’t think I’m strong enough to do them the way he needs it done to stay limber. Amber has someone who does sports therapy massage, a friend of both of them, and he’ll come in this week to work on Adam too.
While laying in bed this morning, he drew his knee up by himself, that is another big deal. He did it last night too. I was showing Amber the ice trick that the speech therapist taught me to get him to try to stick out his tongue, he was tired, I think it was almost 8, but he finally did stick his tongue out a little and try to get to the ice. All these little things might seem little, but they add up, so thank you, and please keep praying with us for both Adam and Chris, and Christine and their little ones. My daughter Tierney just showed up, needing to get together with PT and ST. Thanks again for everything. Many of you are showing your love for Jesus by what you are doing for Adam and for my family. You know who you are.
9-21 prayer request and update
I have two longtime friends, I have probably known them since 1981 or 82. I first met this little guy when he was about 4-5 years old, and Adam was just a toddler of maybe 1. His aunt (the one friend) emailed me this morning, there was a fight, and he has been sent to the hospital with a brain bleed, mom (my other friend) is on a flight to Gulf Port Mississippi. Please pray, I will withhold his name for now, the Lord knows who he is.
Prayers are answered on the television R-rated situation. For now he will be moved to another room. Sadly, this means he will lose a nurse that I love. But pray for more of the same type of nurses for him please. They will not let the roommate know why he is moved, that is good because we are not there to judge him, only to protect Adam’s mind. TBI patients really need their minds fed with only good things, very vital to their recovery. Please pray for all these people suffering in these situations to know there is eternal hope in Jesus Christ. Again not religion, but Christ.
His good friend Amber had him taken care of this weekend in several ways, they shaved him and cut his hair, we can only do so much at once, he gets tired out, so they did the cut one night, then the shaving another. Their friend also cut the hair of the roommate because he said he could not get a good haircut in the facility.
My friend came yesterday morning and washed his feet and massaged them, along with reading the Bible to him and some other things. I told her she was ‘washing the feet of the saints’. Many are ministering to Adam’s needs, it’s very touching. Amber stays late with him every night, I do not know where she gets her energy, but he is well watched out for.
As far as Chris, Cristina says he is starting to mouth words and his vitals are stabilizing. Please pray for her frustration with the doctors who they feel are avoiding them and delaying treatment for simple things (her words). Brain injury patients sure need advocates, the doctors want to give up so early. She said fortunately they have been logging the changes, and trust me, for him to purse his lips to kiss her, or nod his head yes and no, is not a vegetative state. Please pray that someone will hear, and pray for continued healing and comfort for this family, and for the little ones who are without their dad. Please agree with me in prayer for these two young men to come back with renewed minds, and as even better than before.
Jason began the radiation today which will go on for 9 weeks, 5 days per week, please keep him in your prayers, he is doing an awful lot for me and my family.
Another friend of Adam and I, came this morning to be with Adam during physical therapy. She said they had him standing up and looking out the window. His dad came down a little later in the morning. Speech therapy should be about 1 today.
He had a great time this weekend, our friend (and past part-time roommate of Adam’s) Alan Harkrader, came and played his guitar, hummed and sang to Adam for a few hours on Saturday morning. Adam’s dad said he actually thought he heard Adam hum two distinct notes and he also cleared his throat.
Prayer request that all of the things I need to do also can get done, I have my own testing and things that have been sidelined momentarily, but the Lord knows. Also my sister Carla has been carrying the weight of our business for a long time, please pray for her to be blessed, for her family and her home. She has not complained.
I am not there also for my dad and mom very much at all. I have only seen my mom twice since this happened, so please pray for her strength in taking care of my dad, and for my dad’s encouragement.
He had good time in his wheelchair last night. He also played with a larger rubber ball in one hand, and a smaller one in the left. He was able to transfer from the left to the right.
Amber was also able to get him to look directly at her and track her. I gave her a big brush to take down to see if he liked it. Turned out he loved it, I think it made him scratch himself all over, and felt good to him. When he was done, he finally handed it to his friend, but he had a blast with it, probably felt good to scratch all over.
Update 9-18 evening
So much to write today. How can I condense? We had a friend in for the morning shift for his PT and to keep him occupied 🙂 A couple of words she used I believe were ‘stinker’ and ‘monkey’ lol! (Stinker for throwing the wash cloth and stinker for imitating her on squeezing his bicep, he did the same to her).
We went through some speech therapy which consisted of trying to swallow some blue ice, and see if he could swallow vs. aspirate. He didn’t quite do it, but he does have a strong cough which she says is a positive, we’ll try again Monday, and she might use a type of ten’s unit to hopefully help with the swallowing muscles. My friend stuck around for me and I did some nesting I guess you would call it. Folding, organizing, marking his name on his socks even 🙂 I’ve learned with my dad in these places, they tend to go away like with bad dryers or my dog Zacchaeus, you only get one of them back… (Nothing against this very nice facility, just seems to be what happens). I got maintenance to change the cabinet door which has been backwards and awkward to use and did some rearranging until they wanted to take him for his shower, so my friend and I went across the street to the hospital for lunch (yikes!!).
When we got back, my daughter and two youngest sons brought in a platter of sandwiches, chips and cookies for the nurses, respiratory therapists, doctors and CNA’s — wise move 🙂 . They also brought one of the neck pillows (travel kind), that I bought for Adam, however I will be trying out the others I got, one with micro-beads. However he seems extremely comfie for the moment, and either the PT wore him out or a combination of activities (sitting up in a wheel chair), so I let him sleep for quite awhile. Usually the dinner smells wake him, but not tonight. That’s o.k., because he did well today.
My friend Alan Harkrader called while we were at lunch, he’s going to bring in his guitar and sing to him in the morning. Now we’re listening to an old Andrae Crouch song, one I used to listen to around 1979 if my memory serves me. The words are, “Through it all, through it all — I’ve learned to trust in Jesus…” (Except back then, I didn’t really get what that meant.) He continues on, “I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, and I thank Him for the storms He’s brought me through “. Back when my old record player and vinyl record (album set) played this song over and over, I sang it badly at the top of my voice. I didn’t have a clue what real storms and valleys were then. I do more now — I’ve seen many sorrows since then… but then, so have a lot of people. Thank the Lord He is near, even when we make our bed in hell (If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. Ps 139:8)
His therapist said he needs more practice tracking with his eyes, so if we can work on walking from side to side, or getting him to follow from one side to the other. I also talked to the Nurse Practitioner, I can’t remember his name, but he was kind and had kind eyes. He asked me how Adam was and told me to ‘keep the faith’. I also talked to Dr. Ibrahim and he came in and saw Adam and listened to him, and we talked about maybe trying lowering the muscle relaxant, so he agreed (I believe seeing how knocked out he was). So hoping that will be a good solution and that he will be more responsive again. We need to keep up the range of motion with the lowering of this one medicine which keeps away spasticity but can also make him drowsy, so we’ll have to keep a close eye if he seems to be getting more rigid and let them know so they can slowly increase it again. I also saw a pulmonologist (Manny) shortly thereafter.
The respiratory therapist shared (at shift change a few minutes ago), that they may start with closing off the trach next week, to see if he is able to make sounds, or to speak. That is exciting and scary at the same time.
He got some good sleep, and the t.v. situation hasn’t been a problem since a couple of days ago, and so thank you all for your prayers. I cannot say his name (and would not), but please pray for his roommate’s comfort and for us to be there for him if he needs us.
The occupational therapist ordered a wrist band for Adam’s left hand, it will also help with him being so rigid there. So will the massages and ROM we are doing.
Right now he is being put into a wheelchair again (around 7:45 pm), so we’re hopeful we’re going to be able to continue to do this through the weekend. His friend is hopefully going to give him a shave and straighten out the hair which was partially shaved for the stitches and ventriloscopy. So, all in all, it’s been a good day, I’m tired, but thankful. Thank you all for your prayers and support. Holly ❤
By the way, for those of you who somehow think I’m something I’m not, I want to assure you, I am putting one foot in front of the other, with the Lord’s help. I get grumpy, frustrated, angry, tired, snappy, and a multitude of other things like any other human being. I’m nobody great, trust me. I’m just loved by the same Lord that loves you, and trying to stick close to Him, I do better that way.
Today a friend is visiting in the morning, and will spend some time reading the Bible to Adam. I spoke to the activities coordinator yesterday who also will read to him, and so I mentioned why I had specifically chosen the book of John in the Bible to read to Adam. It was written in the common (Koine) Greek of the day, understandable to the majority of people. Plus less then 1000 words are used over and over. Plain speech that is not hard to understand. In addition, in fond memories, Adam had just shared with me that his grandpa had Adam memorize chapters 1-4 when he was a child. And it was written by the ‘beloved disciple’. I love the book myself and think it might be helpful in the speech department. Will update more today after his speech therapy. They are going to shoot for the afternoon, when he is more wakeful. Those of you who know Adam, know he tends to be a night owl, so pray that today might be more successful, Lord willing…
I read the story of the Prodigal son again this morning from Luke 15, one of my favorites. I was reminded how Adam was once that son gone lost who returned home to us. But in the Biblical story, the son didn’t go lost twice. I spent lots of time in tears and much fear back then, but then again I didn’t have the hope or faith I have now because I too was a prodigal child of the Lord. I pray that my son will come back to me once again.
Please pray for Adam to be more responsive to verbal commands which will help immensely with occupational and speech therapy. His speech therapist Kara says Adam is doing well physically, but not really tracking again, nor able to blink for yes or no now. We’re thinking it’s possibly the muscle relaxant they are giving him. We (family and friends) are working very hard there on his ROM exercises, Amber does the night and I do midday, and others fill in at times. We need prayer for the other therapies to start to be of benefit to him. And to trust the Lord for the proper timing.
Last night before I left, as they were getting ready to turn him, Adam started to snap the fingers on his right hand. I told Nida the CNA to look, she saw him snap a couple of times. Although he could not make the sound yet, evidently he is ‘snappy’ 🙂
Please do also pray for the television being played in the room, Amber said some really risque and sexual overtones along with obscenities on the roommate’s tv, loud and late into the night even while he was sleeping. Not judging the man, he can of course choose, but being shared rooms it is difficult, Adam is also sleeping while loud television is played. TBI injuries need protected from those inappropriate things, their brain needs guarded from these things, as a young child needs protected from it, their filters are not necessarily there, might be, but we don’t know, so pray for protection for his brain, and that any visitors will use wisdom in their speech. (Yes, we have mentioned it to the facility who said they will pass it along to social work). Also pray that caregivers will realize Adam is ‘there’ and not be talking about him as if he is not. I am not at all suggesting they are, just that they will always be mindful of him and not carelessly speak as a couple at the hospital did.
There is a whole new family as I deal with and talk to TBI survivors and the families of those who have had traumatic brain injuries. Look what this beautiful young girl wrote about her experience yesterday (I made it into a poster with her picture and words). God bless you all today.
Second update 9-16
After I came back in the room, Adam was again feeling his hair, I think the two layers and the shaving of part of his head has him perplexed. He was getting sleepy, he had 3 people in this morning and now me. I was massaging his hands and arm on the stiff side, and did his range of motion on his arms with him. He really is seeming to start to recognize certain words, although there is a delay in following them. Especially ‘relax’ when I’m trying to open up his tight left arm. I came around to do his other hand, and I laid my head on his chest and said, “I got my hair cut a few weeks ago, how does it feel to you?” He moved his arm off his own head, onto the back of my hair and began to rub and stroke it and feel it with his fingertips. Instantly the tears flowed and it made me silently weep. One of the shortest and most poignant verses in the Bible (although there are many who move me greatly) is John 11:34. Today I know He understands this mothers sorrowful, yet trusting heart. Here is the verse.
Adam is resting now, so when he wakes we’ll finish his leg exercises, I don’t want to overtire him. Later I’ll have dinner with my mom and Jason, and catch up on what is going on with my both of them, she’s doing her own paces with my dad.
We finished Adam’s exercises, he seems more limber and less resistant to being stretched, and that makes me happy. 🙂
We are doing our series of Bible studies together, he seems interested when I type notes, so I try to lean over and have my laptop within his sight so he can see me type as he listens. Today was ‘The Scientific Accuracy of the Bible’, fascinating.
Last night I spoke with Dr. Ibrahim about some of the things I’d like. Great bedside manner, thank You Lord, I could use more of those. They are going to do the nebulizer on a regular basis for now, and also keep his sodium levels up into the high 140’s. That makes me happy, it helps keep swelling down in the brain, plus shows this doctor is very aware of how to treat brain traumas.
Our friend Jane went this morning, she was there for his PT session and took a short video. They are working on him sitting up and also moving his legs. We only got one session in the cadillac/cardiac chair at the hospital the whole time he was there, so he is not able to sit up at all yet. Please pray for his strength and balance and continued improvement each day. I had to take leave of his room for a moment so they can do the moving and changing, came to listen to the aid play the piano. Sitting listening, and listening to the buzz and whirring of the floor cleaning machine, and the squeaky footprints of the nurse who tracks across the damp floor. I watch the slow circular motions of the machine, and watch the gentleman push it with ease. I imagine the movements of her fingers as she plays the piano, I do not watch, just pondering, wondering, and silently praying that Adam will be able to do these things some day. But God…
We’re trying to take pictures and videos each and every day and notate changes. He had a day full of women yesterday, and he will today too, although Jason will come in this afternoon. Jason (by the way) is from my Dear John letter of yesterday. Jason also now knows where He will spend eternity. My hope and prayer, as would be Adam’s, is that you too know where you will be. He loves each and every one of you and want you to be with us when we pass from this earth. This again is not about religion (as I saw one of you say, you’d rather just not have to deal with the religious stuff), Jesus and I would both agree. He stood against the religious people of His day, and instead turned to love and teach and eat with the tax collectors, the uneducated, the fisherman, the drunks, the prostitutes — healing the lepers, the blind, the deaf, the lame, the ones that the religious walked by in the story of the Good Samaritan.
This is about a God who loves you and gave Himself for you. You can do nothing to save yourself, and nothing to earn this free gift of eternal life. Please feel free to email or call me if you want to know more. If you’re tired of the churches who advocate stopping sinning, or turning from sin, or being sorry enough, or any of the things religion teaches to be saved, then please consider the Word of God. ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved’. We are sinners in need of a Savior who cannot fix ourselves. I am still very much human as those of you who know me in person can attest. I am a saved person though, and one the Lord is helping all the time as I cooperate with Him. Not because of any good I have done, and not because I myself am good, but because God alone is good, and has done all the work for me, He is the Savior and Redeemer, no one else. Come to Him all of you who are weary, tired, exhausted (with toil or burdens or grief), burdens and loads too hard for you. He says, He will give you rest. (my narrative of Matt 11:28-30)
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:1-3
Yesterday was a pretty good day although Adam is stilling having trouble with his oxygen levels, so appreciate the prayers for that. If he can’t cooperate for therapy we will be delayed there too, so pray that he will ‘hear’ and respond to commands at the appropriate times. By the time I left last night, it was dark and cloudy all around, I had no idea that it was storming. What a downpour last night, and a nice sunny day today. We have some paperwork, one form alone is 32 pages. Another is on it’s way certified mail. Notarizing and filing other paperwork, my body doesn’t seem to want to obey my mind ❤ But then I think Adam is dealing with much worse issues. He’s heavy to move, so pray that we can get him enough range of motion in. My daughter is with him now, and his friend Wendy should show up soon. Tierney said he was not real cooperative with speech therapy, so really praying that will change quickly.
I received a beautiful bouquet of peach roses (love those and the lavender ones too. My other daughter is going to see Adam shortly, and my newest daughter, Amber, will be there with him this evening. Pray for us to rest in His guidance, yet accomplish what we need to do as the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. One consolation we have through this, is the Lord has not forsaken us. I know Adam knew where he would be if he died, not of himself, but because of what Jesus Christ had done for him, and freely given to him. This link below contains a “Dear John” letter I wrote to an agnostic friend before a serious surgery. Please consider reading it will you? Love in Jesus Christ to each one of you. I love and appreciate you. Holly (Mom).
Today Adam is pretty wakeful. His dad covered this morning, and then I came and did some of his exercises. We took them slow as to not let his heart beat go up too fast. My mom came around 2, and she stayed for a couple of hours. We did some washing of his hands and feet, just massaging with the warm cloths and doing each knuckle and cuticle. He seemed to relax quite a bit and let me do some more stretches. Took off his boots and gave him a nice foot massage and adjusted his feet so his knees were bent a little. He’s been awake most of the time I’ve been with him. I held his hand, and he mimicked everything I did, rubbing each knuckle and squeezing and almost rolling my fingers. I told him I loved him and then I prayed for him out loud. Tears welled up, but I consciously kept them from flowing (at least from where he could see). I want him to see a cheerful mom. He also felt in his mouth, I am very sure he was feeling for missing/broken teeth and seemed upset. That should sound odd, but I’ve already mourned that loss, and right now it was a good sign that he should seem to recognize it and seem upset about it. I assured him we would be fixing them and then I prayed for him.
I prayed a prayer, mostly from His Word for a friend today, I think I’ll share it here, as I know so many are having hard times. They are changing positions for Adam so I’m out of the room. This is basically just all from God’s Word, just put together as a prayer. God bless you all, hug you, comfort you, give you peace.
Lord, you are the greatest Deliverer, there is none like You. You are so full of mercy and grace, and such love for us. We know these trials are here to make us strong, and we know that You use these things and work them together for good. We also know the enemy is active out there, so I am praying for You to raise that standard against Him and rebuke him on our behalf. We submit ourselves to you and are resisting the enemy with Your Word.
You are our help, and when our feet slip, Your mercy holds us up Lord, in the multitude of our anxious thoughts, Your comforts delight our soul. Our soul clings to the dust, but Your Word revives us. Our soul melts from heaviness, yet again Your Word strengthens us. You wrote these things ahead of time, that through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Oh God, You are our God, early we seek You…our soul clings to You and Your right hand upholds us. Let our enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled. Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly. Let us use sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that they might be ashamed and have nothing evil to say of us. We will call upon You, for You are worthy to be praised.
Your lovingkindness is commanded each day, Your song is over us at night. Soon we will shed these corruptible bodies and be with You face to face. What a day that will be, to be rid of this flesh where evil still dwells. We long to do better, and to please You with our faith. I know I’ll never be a hall of famer like my brothers and sisters before me (Heb 11), but Lord help us to acknowledge You in more of our ways. WE need You, we cry out to You to deliver us from our troubles. We pour out our hearts before You. We know this light affliction is but for a moment, and we ask that it will work a far more exceeding weight of glory as we look to those things which are eternal.
Help us in our weakness, and work in us through these things. Help us to bless those that curse us. To be patient with those who are inpatient, and to be kind to the unkind. To be considerate to the inconsiderate, and loving to those who are unloving. All I can say Lord is we need you to hedge us in before and behind us, lay Your hand upon us. Surround us with Your protection. And give us courage and boldness to speak of You to others. We love You Lord. Thank You for Your salvation, for coming to give Your life for us… Help us to get through today with thankfulness in our hearts, and praise on our lips.
In Jesus name, Amen
Adam is mainly settled in, we have still to await the Physical and OT therapy. Respiratory therapy has met with him, and spent a lot of time with him today and tonight. He is called ‘productive’ so praying they stay on top of that overnight. Thank you all for your prayers for strength, wisdom, gentleness, kindness, patience, etc.
As I watch my son, and see what he cannot do, I realize more each moment how we need to be thankful for each thing the Lord has given to us and pray that these things will be restored to Adam.
Yesterday and the day before, we’ve been viewing and re-viewing the facilities. Two different friends went to look at two different facilities at separate times, along with Jason, and I of course had to go see them also. Adam’s dad went to the one in Scottsdale, so did Jason, and we were fine with that facility. We also met with the representative a few days ago for Q & A. But, they denied him, they felt he was not medically stable enough although he did not give that as a reason to the social worker, they just denied him.
I made a final run with a friend last night to two places. The first was one my dad had been in years ago for a short time, still really no better. When I had my tour he pointed out a bunch of respiratory staff, about 5 of them standing around, I saw no one but patients in rooms and most of them dark and it was only about 6:30. Most of the nurses and CNA’s were standing in the hallways. I forced myself to continue, but kept looking for a nurse in a room, didn’t seen one nurse in one room, poor things, I wanted to go in and talk to them all. But I couldn’t wait to get out of there! But, I didn’t want to have any guilt about leaving one stone unturned.
I was pretty much already settled on the one facility due to Jason’s report which was detailed, along with the email report my other friend had sent the day before. All of us spoke to different staff members on our tours. It seemed we covered a speech therapist, a respiratory therapist, an administrator, and a pulmonologist — along with a friendly staff member who had worked there 15 years. It has changed quite a bit since I saw it last, it looks great, but more than that, everyone looked busy. And happy and pleasant too. I realize there can always be good staff with personality conflicts, or good people that have bad days, or sometimes — just plain poor staffing, but it looks like this place has some very good standards in place. Hands down, this facility wins out of all my limited choices.
The other TBI rehabs out of town he is not quite ready for. I was looking at Atlanta, Shepherd Center, and a couple others. Barrows Neurological says he is not quite ready for them yet either, however Adam is making strides now that some of his morphine has been changed, I feel like we can reach him more, he is more alert, and is making more purposeful movements.
We’ve had a lot of challenges, Jason has been a huge help each day, and in the midst of all chaos, he is getting ready to start his chemo (which will be daily), so I appreciate your prayers for him also. He just patiently lugs around my stuff, drives me to the closest entrance, parks, does paperwork, listens to me when I am upset, makes sure I’m fed, etc. May the Lord really bless him for his servanthood towards me and my family.
I also have neglected my father with taking care of these things with Adam, my mind is in a flurry of trying to remember every thing I need to do, and that is one thing I don’t think some people comprehend in their daily job, is that the family is in shock, no matter what they may appear to look like from the outside. And of course, they also want the best care for their family. But I think the Lord has helped here as the two facilities won’t be too far from each others, so we’ll be able to see both of them with more ease, thank You Lord for Your goodness to us.
I highly encourage all of you to be sure you have someone who has a power of attorney for you, none of us are immune from having something happen in a moment. We are not promised tomorrow. The maze of paperwork and courts and banking, and paying bills, etc. is multiplied exponentially without one. Adam said he had done one, but his roommates look, and unfortunately it is nowhere to be found. Please consider a trusted friend or family member. I’m only saying this to save any of you from the same hardship should something like this happen to you or a loved one.
I went over his discharge papers yesterday, they had made a few simple mistakes and left out a few things that she and I made notations on, I think we have it all situated, I appreciated Eileen’s help.
Here is something that is really neat. The doctor who is going to be taken care of him, the one that is recommended, IS from Barrow’s neurological institute, the one I have asked for, and the social worker kind of had a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips, when she asked if it bothered me if that was where he was going. I thought he’d have to only go to JC Lincoln, but she said they worked with Barrows too. I wanted to jump up and down for joy. I am not saying I did not have some good doctors and nurses at Scottsdale Osborn, I surely did, but I do not want the one neurologist again, ever. He may be able to save lives, I am sure of that, but he can sure steal joy.
Right now we are asking for people to comment here if they want to visit or help with any of the therapies. Give us an email so we can arrange times with you. We will let you all know when visiting will be allowed again and will do a group email. This is just to give time for him to be assessed and given his therapies and to know his schedule and how much stimulation he can take. This place encourages interaction, and I am getting organized with my team of volunteers 🙂 Adam is leaving the hospital now, and will be in his new rehab shortly. Thank you all for your goodness to us and your prayers.
We have probably had 25,000 views (is my guess), since the accident, so I know many of you are coming to check in. I also have seen those of you who have been copying and pasting and sharing my posts in groups, and those do not show up as views here, so who even knows how many have been reading and praying with us? I have been told by countless of you that your church, your prayer group, your Bible study are out there praying. For that, I shed tears of gratefulness. I can’t tell you how much each of you have meant to me, my son has loved many people, he has such a kind heart as you all know, and it’s been a pleasure to meet you all, from all walks of life, all ages, just overwhelming.
Red Robin has been supportive too, I urge you all to visit your local Red Robin, and tell them why. You can visit their website and tell them you are patronizing Red Robin on Adam Hixson’s behalf. 🙂
As for Chris and Cristine, yesterday Cristine says she has also seen changes including Chris puckering up his lips to give her a kiss. Made me tear up. Bless them with a miracle Lord.
If you like, here you can read up on the man who is to be Adam’s neurologist, fondly known as Dr. Rocky Marciano.
Yesterday was another long day, my body stopped doing too well, lots of charlie horses in my legs and feet. Thank the Lord for boys who would help me by massaging them, and some potassium, magnesium and heating pads. Made me think of how necessary it is to really continue Adam’s range of motion exercises. I started collecting things I thought might help for some brain work, some different shaped and colored balls, and a brush for his senses, and a plastic pill container and a few other things. We need to keep him limber. I had help yesterday so we got his exercises done, and a few of his friends also stopped by, along with his father who usually comes in the morning time, so he has a good support system. We’re going to try to get that organized for visits once we know where we are. Thank you all for understanding when I put you off for now. We do not know where he will be one day to the next, both in health or location. He had a rough day yesterday with lots of drops in oxygen and the necessity for deep suctioning of his lungs. They are supposed to order a nebulizer, I don’t know if that has been done yet.
I called also to ask a doctor to fill out the paperwork needed for the judge for temporary guardianship. The Nurse Practitioner of yesterday handed it back to us and said she wasn’t going to fill it out, to get it done at the facility wherever he went. So in the meantime it has been delayed even further due to her refusal to do this. I put in a call to the social workers and explained my frustration at this delay. They are the ones who have been taking care of him for three weeks, they are the ones that have told me he’ll be incapacitated for the rest of his life (Dr. Hu), but they cannot help me by filling out the paperwork I need to take care of his affairs? Please pray for someone to actually help vs. make excuses. Yesterday I mentioned to the one social worker, that she was supposed to be Adam’s advocate. I had told her the facility had mentioned his instability and she said, “no, they did not say that, they gave no reason”. I had to explain to her that they did indeed say that they felt he was too unstable to be moved yet, and that they did not like that he was neuro storming (according to NP) and that he hadn’t been cultured since 8-26. That it was traumatic for patients to be moved back and forth. And I explained there was a witness to that. So she listened at that point. It seems once a particular doctor decides to take a negative attitude, they must all follow suit and either stay quiet or disagree with something that is said. I really am doing my best to be kind and gentle, so please keep praying. Again, there are most definitely some good caregivers there, and you can see some are very compassionate.
Today there is supposed to be another option for a skilled nursing facility, so I am waiting for a call. The other one which we had pretty much settled upon denied him. We believe we have already settled on another. The gentleman who came from the first facility made a comment about not knowing if he was stable enough to move. Since the NP said he was still storming and that is why they were administering so much morphine, he didn’t seem very confident, and I guess I read that one right. On one hand it’s frustrating, yet it also can be the Lord opening and shutting doors.
I did receive a call at 12:48 pm today from the social worker, they are working still on the one facility, they are looking at a 24 to 48 hour discharge from the hospital, and I told her that was fine assuming he is doing well. We talked about the NP handing the paperwork back to me and not filling it out, she said she would advocate for me to get that done. I have to confess, that the ‘feelings’ of trust are not always there, although I do trust God implicitly, sometimes it is scary as we advocate for our loved ones, not wanting to make any errors, and yet feeling as if in a fog. And then to have adversaries who you feel are supposed to help, it is overwhelming at times. I go by what I know, and that is the Lord is good, and has always been good and faithful to me, even when I was or am not faithful. I am so thankful that it is not how good I am, but how good He is to us. I am leaning on His everlasting arms ❤
May we remember this today.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths.
I couldn’t bring myself to post any more of my day yesterday, it was one of the most difficult for me. Talk about brain neuro storming, it feels like it’s what happens with me too, information overload and upset caregivers. It makes it especially difficult when you have a hostile or calloused doctor/nurse practitioner. My nurse practitioner yesterday was a beautiful, thin blonde, with unfortunately a not very understanding or listening personality, at least when it comes to me. It’s hard to describe to these people what they are doing to those who are the walking wounded. The patient’s family is in trauma and instead of treating them with understanding and gentleness. (don’t get me wrong, there are several who were excellent), some feel they are doing you a service by pronouncing a death sentence or in your face ‘bluntness’. Worse, they ignore your health concerns because it seems as if they have written him off.
Yesterday and the night before, Adam had alarmed in the late 80s and early 90s he was staying at for his O2 levels. He also did get some time in the ‘cadillac’ chair and had some more events of tachycardia after about 45 minutes. It didn’t set off the alarm, so they must have raised the number again, but I looked over to see 138 bpm. His nurse was right on it, we got him out of the chair and laying back down, the last couple days of nurses were a pleasure.
The nurse practitioner said none of it was concerning for her, that was pretty normal, but I told her it was a change we hadn’t seen plus his breathing was shallow and that was one of the side effects of mixing the new medicines with morphine. She just said I wasn’t recognizing his condition and this is just him having his good days and bad days. Maybe she was having one of hers, because she told me she was frustrated with me, and didn’t understand what I didn’t understand and had to go back into the notes with Dr. Doom to see what I hadn’t been able to grasp (I mean Dr. Hu).
She told me she had already told me he was discharged and I told her I didn’t have anyone tell me at anytime that he was discharged (as in past tense). She came back hard with, “Yes, I most certainly did tell you last Thursday or Friday”. I said I had seen no papers and she said they didn’t do them? I wish they might understand that if they really had said that, to maybe consider saying something like, “maybe you don’t remember, but let me refresh you with what we spoke about, and let me make sure your friend here with you understands as well”. (I took notes that day and every day, and what she said was he was getting ready to be discharged soon, and I should be looking for a place — which I have). My friend also said he did not hear her say he was discharged, only that he should be soon and we should be looking for a SNF.
I also mentioned my concern with his liver damage from the accident, and how in the hospital they monitor that daily, but in the facility, will they? And the medicines with how over medicated he’s been, I’m concerned with that. She basically told me she thought I was ‘inhumane’ to withhold his medicine when someone is in pain. I was in shock, it felt like I was in a dog shelter with those kinds of answers. She repeated inhumane twice and told me she was NOT going to change his medicines. I told her that the respiratory person (I thought that is who Sara was with) had said she would do a hold order so that if he was in too much of a stupor, they could hold off on the morphine. This is how the ‘inhumane’ came into the picture, and she told me respiratory has NOTHING to do with his medicines. I told her Sara was the name, but didn’t know the dept. Adam has not appeared in pain, and as a matter of fact he has appeared to be overdosed at times and so how can he be responsive if he is totally drugged? It’s almost as if it is dangerous it seems to ask the wrong questions, she told me I could start paying if I wanted to stay. She then went out to the nurse’s station and gestured dramatically as she told her story of what she had to deal with me about. (A friend stood by and watched and listened).
I repented. That was the sign I was looking for to change my mind regarding staying there. How could Adam get the care he needed there when there were people as negative and hostile as she and Dr. Hu have been, including speaking in front of Adam? Please still pray for them both. No unkind words were exchanged by me, but I did have a difficult time trying to be Adam’s advocate as the NP insisted upon being heard and not really wanting to answer my concerns. Again, I repented. I changed my mind, we will look for another place, as we actually also really have no choice that I know of ❤
Today I’m trying to compare the two facilities we’ve seen, and going to go back to one to check out the particular room they are considering for him. Talked to both and getting the questions answered. Pray for the right decision for Adam and all concerned. Pray for no more of these events from the staff, it wears me out and is like another knife in the wound. The Lord knows what these times feel like, as I said, I know He is storing my tears in a bottle. It’s as if I’m unable to cry, I’m walking in a dream that I cannot wake up from. Even though we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is with us.
Back to Adam, I have a friend doing his range of motion exercises now (1:15 pm), she has been with him since this morning, doing some quiet reading of the Bible while allowing him to rest. His blood pressure has been low for days too, now they are giving him a saline drip to help it go up, I feel if they would slow down the morphine and baclofen, one or the other, he would not be so low, and not need his o2 upped, and his saline upped. It’s like they depress him on one hand, then mask the side effects by treating them vs. the underlying issue. Which to me is slow down on these things and maybe back off a little. But what do I know? I’m just watching and talking to those families who have already been through this. I’m hearing so many similar stories. But again the Lord knows, appreciate all your help and prayers.
We stayed with him through the night, his friend stayed overnight, we didn’t really want to leave him alone, he was too low in oxygen. His friend stayed through to the morning shift until about 8:30 to be sure he was good. Adam has had some good support. My daughters are going to do some of the physical therapy after lunchtime, and then I’ll be with him after that, we do it all again. Each day we hope for new tender mercies. Yesterday was his eye blinking for yes or no. Pray for Adam’s encouragement, he seemed a lot discouraged yesterday. One of Adam’s friends is going to come in the morning to read the Word to him too, we continue to do that, knowing the Word gives wisdom and understanding and knowledge of the One who gave His life for Adam and the rest of us too. Pray for all of us in our weakness in fatigue, yet knowing we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
Update on Monday, Labor Day, 9-7-15
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30
Cindy his nurse said Adam was ‘messing’ with his trach this morning, so she talked to him, and asked him if he could blink once for yes, and she said he did it. Then she asked him to blink twice for no, and Adam also did that. She then asked him if he was in pain, and he blinked once for yes, so she gave him some pain medicine. She has been good, swabbing his mouth every other hour for the thrush. My daughter Baylie comes in about half and hour or so, and if PT hasn’t been in to do his range of motion exercises, she’ll do them today for me. Physically, he is a little strong and heavy for me, although I’m learning how to use leaning and body weight with leverage to move things. Wish I had a pulley system 🙂 So, training more of the young ones to do this, maybe I’ll get a few therapists out of this ❤
In a little while they are going to set him up in one of those ‘cadillac’ chairs, this is very good, as he needs to be able to sit up for at least one hour without ‘storming’ (can cause tachycardia or blood pressure to spike, as well as fevers), so hoping that session also goes well. I’m going to talk to them about light arm and ankle weights for the stretching to help also with the rigidity, and do a little of my own research too, in order to be sure that is the right thing. The Lord is putting my tears away in a bottle ❤
Adam’s hiking buddy and friend Jane came by, she got him to finally rouse, this new combination of medicines may be a little too much, it’s why I’m glad we’re in a hospital vs. a skilled nursing facility which is really slow to react on changing anything or doing tests.
Adam’s sister and brother-in-law from Colorado visited again and said goodbye to had on the way home. Gifford, Jessup and Koby also spent time with him, then Tierney and her friend John came down also to be with Adam and say goodbye to Greer and Joel.
Today Adam actually opened his mouth, he also yawned a few times, we hadn’t seen that before. He also reached up and scratched his forehead when I turned to wet a rag. Made it bleed it multiple places by yanking off scabs. They’re removing the stitches from his trach, and it should stay in place now. Not sure how long trach’s stay in, however his oxygen levels are good as well as his breathing. He’s doing a lot more coughing, which is good to stay off pneumonia.
He is also doing a lot more movement, they are trying a couple new drugs, one for the central nervous system to see if they can regulate his fevers and help loosen up the muscles. Poor thing, it’s like one thing or another, right now, he has multiple wounds in his mouth and he has some sort of thrush too on his tongue. So they also have one medicine for him.
My daughter Tierney helped me with the range of motion exercises, actually did more than I did because he’s resisting some, so it makes it difficult for me because one side is pretty strong. But these are good signs that he is regaining movement and some motor functions.
I am only looking at today, trying not to worry about tomorrow; sufficient for today is the trouble therein…
At the end of the day. Bodies ache, hurts surface, emotions ebb and flow, and yet there is so much to be grateful for. Adam is more wakeful and more purposeful today, and they acknowledged it (nurse and doctors). He was irritated and tossed them off his arm. We can see there is a long road ahead, but I only can handle looking down at my path directly ahead. I’ll look to the Lord and His Word for my strength (Ps 119:25, 28).
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Ps 119:105
Adam has had a busy day. And he is resting now, and we’re listening to some pleasant light music while he rests. Today is the first time we’ve seen him get his right arm higher than his misting tube on his trach. He reached up and scratched his forehead, then he scratched his eyelid on the right side. He opened up his eyes wider than we’d seen also, and he seemed more focused, not just blank staring. His friend, asked him to squeeze her hand, and he yanked away his hand, it made her laugh. We video taped the one where he moved his arm up that high, and also asked the nurse to chart it, and she said she would, so I hope she does.
The doctors still come in and say basically the same thing, “no change”, but we continue to hope in the Lord, and keep our eyes on Him. He cares for the sparrow, He loves the world, He gave His life for all. I trust His goodness, and although I appreciate the way that medicine can help, their report is not the final one. I am sure they see me as one who is in denial, and that is O.K. I was doing his passive Range of Motion exercises, because I asked and physical therapy had not shown up. One of the staff came in and said, “he’s had enough stimulation, he needs to rest now”. I said, “o.k., he hasn’t had physical therapy yet, and since he’s awake and I’ve already started, I’ll just finish this and then let him rest.” Her response was to whip around and storm out of the room. Please pray for the staff to be also considerate of not just the trauma the patient has been in, but the trauma and pain the family suffers, not just of us, but of others. Touch their hearts to be gentle Lord…
I want what is best for my son too. When he is in his ‘sleep’ mode, I shut the blinds, and I make sure it is quiet, and that he gets a good long nap. We have cared for his basic needs that they will not do, such as fingernail clipping and such, so that he does not scratch himself. We keep his hands and feet massaged, and cool cloths on his head to help keep his temp regulated. And we pray. And we wait on the Lord. Great is His faithfulness. Love you all so much.
UPDATE NIGHT 9-3-2015
Today was like a brick wall that I ran into, where my mind almost stopped functioning. It was like information overload and my brain wasn’t complying. I have a good support system, pray for them too. I don’t even know what to ask for, but He knows.
Shepherd Center says he is not ready, and so did Barrows. I agree, he is just in a drugged state right now. Pray for progress and the right decisions. Love you all in Him, Holly
There was some progress as Adam started to wake again (after I cleaned his eyes with a warm, damp rag) and he got a little annoyed I believe. 🙂 The nurse came in and did some pinching and he did react on the left side (he has not before), by shrugging to move. His left side is weaker, and she says the movement on his feet mean nothing as she was stroking them, but to us it is something, as he really hasn’t been responding at all to touch. We have to do some more research on storming as they have him on morphine and he seems way too drugged up. He is getting an IVC filter put in right now, it is to supposedly prevent pulmonary embolisms from getting to the heart. They had talked about doing that when they did another surgery last week, I do not know why it did not get done, because they asked for my permission, I can only assume it is because they forgot. No one ever told me until today that it had not been done last week. Just floored me.
Things we need prayer for. The right place that specializes in brain injury vs. just being sent to skilled nursing where he won’t be treated right. Wisdom to be firm in areas we should. We are asking all who visit to document changes or even issues with symptoms in writing and also video tape. We were advised to do this by others who have been through the system and have not received the help they need. The comments we get are ‘no change’, even as we see and notify them of changes, they pooh pooh them. Thank you for prayers for all who take care of him and those who are there helping. There have been many offers and we will be taking people up on their offers to visit and help in the future.
I just spoke with the social worker and asked them to fax a referral to Shepherd Center in Atlanta and she said she would do that today.
I am reminded that it was prophesied in Isaiah 53, that Jesus was a Man of Sorrows who is acquainted with grief. Furthermore, it says, He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. He loves Adam, and He loves me, and He gave His life for you too. If you don’t know Him, please do not wait. I would never have imagined this for Adam ever as he didn’t ride motorcycles. I could be gone in an instant, our life is but a vapor. Any one of you reading, your life could be over in a flash. Please do not wait. This is not about religion, but about life. Jesus came that you might have life.
Love in Christ, Holly
We made lots of calls today. Adam is very close to the same status, unresponsive, and more out of it. I have asked him to look into other alternatives to the morphine since it seems that this may be the timing of his change in alertness. He was just starting to come awake, and now he doesn’t even open his eyes or move. We have called other hospitals, and legal help. We have contacted the insurance and human resources for Red Robin and asked for patient advocacy. We wait upon the Lord now, we’ve done much more than that, but won’t bore you with all the details. We continue to look for what the Lord might do, and continue to call upon the One who made Adam’s body. Adam was fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are His works, and that my soul knows very well (Psalm 139).
In the meantime, I promised Adam I would use this text against him, so I plan to laminate it as I promised, and have it for him to remind him. This was Adam’s text to me in yellow, after I had suggested some Bible passages he might like to read. I’ll text my children Bible passages from time to time, the last one I texted to them all was 1 John 3:1-2, please look it up. This was his response to those books in the Bible I had suggested. My replies are back to Adam in blue. Please continue to pray for my dear son, Chris and his wife Cristina and those taking care of him.
Adam was running a fever again today and was very unresponsive for the entire day. I played some music and a Tom Cucuzza sermon. They moved him out of ICU which I wasn’t very happy about, but have no say so. I told them I did not feel it was a good time. They are intending to move him out to skilled nursing no matter whether I feel he is ready or not it seems. His father spoke against it to. I appreciate all of you who are petitioning the Lord on our behalf more than you know. I also came home to a ‘final compliance’ notice from the city regarding weeds on the horse trail behind my block wall (which I never see). I did not ever receive a first compliance notice. Funny how these things seem to work. Thank you all for continued prayers ❤ Love in Christ.
Evidently my update from last night didn’t ‘take’. The meeting was not good, they offered us no hope. Basically what I said is that Dr. Hu may not know Who made the universe, and Who is judge of all the earth, and Who it is that we pray to. We understand it is serious, but while there is life there is hope, and my hope is in the Lord. I told them of the miracles with my dad, my mom, my husband given seven more years. They said my experiences were ‘valid’. I told them I trusted God no matter what the outcome, but I was not going to just accept that prognosis after such a short period of time. After all my questions, Hu looked past me to Adam’s father and asked him if he had questions, and his father said no. Hu left at that point, I imagine he felt he was doing us a favor with his grim prognosis. The chaplain and nurse stayed and he asked me about our beliefs, so I was able to tell them both that my son had believed upon the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior, and that because of that if he died, I knew where he would be, and that was of the utmost importance. How many other people in the hospital have that expectation to look forward to? Have they heard the good news? Have you? Please listen here.
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him:
God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psalm 62:5-8
UPDATE 8-30-2015 NIGHT
Meeting with the trauma team in the morning. Have a list of questions that I’ll be posing to them. Listened to the series on Severe Brain Trauma injuries with the Shepherd institute. Trying to do my part to be an informed advocate. Pulled off a lecture from Georgetown on Cognitive therapy, and did some range of motion exercises with Adam today. He has had no physical therapy or OT or cognitive therapy, so I’ll find out why tomorrow. Pray that the insurance will cover an acute care facility that specializes in severe brain trauma injury. My body is tired, but I have good support, and am blessed. His friend Amber is there, I read to the middle of John 10 and she’s continuing with the Bible reading and prayer and music and going to do some range of motion movement with his legs and arms too. Thank you all for your many prayers on our behalf. May the Lord bless you for it.
Thank You Lord for being with us.
UPDATE 8-30-2015 DAYTIME
When I came in, he was sitting up in a medical chair. He was dripping feeding fluid, evidently he had pulled out the line. I told his nurse and she re-attached it and went next door. His heart rate when I looked was over 145-150, so I went looking for her, finally found a nurse to tell. They changed him back to his bed, and his heart rate finally went under 100.
Respiratory just took him off his cpap ventilation, he has a vaporizer hooked up to his trach and breathing on his own right now. That is one good report from the Lord. We take each thing and thank Him. Please continue in prayers for Chris and Christine.
The news is not what we would wish to hear regarding his brain injury. I know the Lord will help, no matter the outcome, and I also know He only has to say the word, so I continue to wait upon the Lord’s report. Please pray that I might only hear what is necessary to take care of him, but also to continue in hope. I stopped and spoke to Christine, gave her a hug, and talked to their business partner. I read some more from the book of John to Adam, and we’ll just keep going, and let the Word do the work, as the Lord wills. The positive news, is that he is breathing somewhat on his own, he is on assisted breathing with the ventilator but initiating more of his own breaths. He is getting oral meds and food already through his tube. I will continue to keep my eyes on the Lord and when my feet slip, I know who will uphold me. I posted this before, but it bears repeating from Eph 3, specifically regarding the breadth, and length, and depth, and height of the love of Christ which passes understanding (or knowledge), and He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…(see vs. 14 on)
We wait in hope.
Not much news yet. The feeding tube was placed later than they thought. His temperature is still up, they continue with the antibiotics, although they stopped one. This is a long road that only the Lord knows the ending to, and He is good in all things. The good news is, He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own… (In the Garden – the song Alan Harkrader sang at Gilbert’s funeral).
Please continue to pray for comfort and provision for Chris and Cristina in this time. One patient did wake up yesterday. That is hope for the whole floor. Pray for hurting hearts, and for people that are burdened to come to the One who gave Himself for them out of great love.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30
UPDATE 8-28-2015 – NIGHT
They will take him in shortly (they say) for the feeding tube. His blood pressure and heart rate is stable for the moment. Temp is not going up. Once the tube is in 24 hours they will be able to manage these things better. He was moving his one arm more, which meant I stood a lot more to keep him from grabbing for things (wanted to leave his arm untied). I am tired, and ready to rest. Thank you all ❤
UPDATE 8-28-2015 – AFTERNOON
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psalm 139:17-18
SPECIFIC PRAYER REQUEST: Right now he is ‘storming’ they think, which means his blood pressure and pulse along with temperature are not reacting well. Please pray for those three things. Feeding tube is delayed.
UPDATE 8-27-2015 – NIGHT
Adam is done with surgery for today, he is back in his room and resting for tomorrow’s PEG tube. This will at least be a respite for all the tubes in his mouth. Thank you all for your continued prayers for all concerned ❤
I was looking through Adam’s texts for the pictures he sent me when they went to visit my dad for Father’s day breakfast (boys only). We had been talking about good books to read in, he had been reading Psalms and John. I didn’t remember this past text conversation.
Last night I asked Amber if she would read to him from John, and she did, all the way through chapter 5. When I read this text, I had to smile, thinking on him thinking what he had told me in his text, “Amber, my grandpa made me memorize chapters 1-4, so you can just start with chapter 5”. ❤
Then he said this: “I just want you know, I’ve always felt God. Even before it was taught to me who He was” (I taught him, from the time he was in the womb, and sang Jesus loves me to him, and told him stories, so he was taught even if he didn’t remember – so always teach them). He continued, “He will always rule my life and speak wisdom and joy into my ear. I can’t even tell you my first encounter with God because it’s as far back as 2 years old… He always guides me, sometimes I stray but he NEVER lets me go.” (As I mentioned, Jesus is faithful when we are not, and He never denies us).
Let your children, your friends, your loved ones know that you love them. Tell them in sincerity and at unexpected times and often.
Adam goes in for his oral surgery at around 5, as always, being put under is a risk, so please pray for him and for the one’s who are working on him.
Love you all.
Daily I see these religious or philosophical quotes on FB float by on my page. A few minutes ago, I saw this one, ‘he lived to make Christ known’. The question was would our biography read like that. And I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t hope for those things to be said about me. It actually made me feel a little sick. I do most certainly want others to know Him as their Savior, don’t misunderstand me please. But instantly what came to mind about what my biography might be, is what I had just shared with someone a moment ago. Mine might read something more like this.
He is faithful, when she was not. Jesus never denied her. (2 Tim 2:13)
It’s not about us, it’s all about Him. He has done it all. The apostle Paul said this about himself. “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”
I’m not here to hold myself up as anything other than a mother who needs to cling to the Lord at all times, because I am weak. But He is strong and will help us through this.
- 12:45 pm – Spoke to his nurse, the tracheostomy went well, they just got him all cleaned up, and settled in. No visitors today. Better on these days of in and out. He will go in for another surgery around 4-5 pm today on his mouth. Pray for his blood pressure and pain which has been reactive to any pain and other stimuli. The peg tube will happen sometime tomorrow.
- Right now (around 10:45 am), they are doing the tracheostomy, I will update underneath this during the day as I am able. They should do also the peg feeding tube and the mouth and oral surgery later if he does well.
Adam was up and down with fever last night, over 103, they cultured him to see if they can find out the cause of the underlying infection. He is to go in to surgery tomorrow for the damage to his inner lip and tongue, please continue to pray for wisdom for the doctors. Please also remember always Chris and Cristina in your prayers.
Thank you all for upholding us in prayer. Having walked this journey more than once, I am of course sad, sometimes afraid, weak, but I’m at peace. I really do think on how when I cry, He stores my tears (Ps 56:8), or when I am afraid, I can trust Him (Ps 56:3), and my strength means nothing, His grace is sufficient for me. Any strength or peace is because of Him and His saints who are praying for us. Not because I am anything at all, Not because I am strong, I am weak. If anything, all I have learned that is the most important for anyone to remember, is when you take your eyes off of Jesus, turn them back as soon as you realize. And endure in that. Remain in His Word. When you get distracted, go back again. We don’t have enough strength to get through these times. But He is our strength. I can do this because I know how good the Lord is. How good He always has been. And how good He will be in the future. I am no Job, but the Word shows us even Job had his breaking points with his friends.
I will continue to ask Him for both these boys to be healed with the knowledge that He hears and He cares, and those of you who are His? The effectual, fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much (and we are righteous because of Christ).
And no matter the result, I also will trust that He knows the best for everyone considered. The Lord loves my son more than I do.
One of my friends said it was o.k. to ask why and I agree with that. But I don’t know why I have not, I just don’t ask “Why Lord”? I guess it’s because He has always shown me good things in all the bad. And the picture above with His Word on it has been true of His deliverance in my life more than once, and I am in the best place possible. I have the Lord with me.
I cannot imagine those in these situations, that do not have a friend to cry with when they are alone, someone to talk to. When I hold my son’s hand, the Lord upholds me with His righteous right hand.
Please pray for more to come to know Him, so they will never be alone again. So that they might live with Him eternally, for this life is but a vapor. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the Word of the Lord endures forever. Eternity is forever. Please be sure you have believed upon Him, and not upon your own goodness, or something you have done, but upon what He has done in your place.
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Thank you all for your support.
I just spoke to the head of the trauma team, they will do the tracheostomy in the morning and peg (feeding tube) sometime tomorrow as well as the mouth surgery. Don’t need to overload with info, the Lord knows all, but please continue to pray for the right timing, and the right staff to care for them both (Chris and Adam).
His friend Amber read to him last night from the book of John. She read five chapters. My Bible is in there on the back window, so if anyone comes in, read from John a little. The are just under 1000 words in the book of John, I feel like that will be a good place to get him started with a basic foundation.
Love in Christ to you all.
UPDATE 8-25 AFTERNOON
I received an update from the MRI. He has lots of brain bleeds. The types they saw are not good, they are called ‘shear’ injuries where tissue shears other tissue. It’s very common and also very devastating, (along with disheartening) so it is hard for this mother to hear about her first baby. They will leave the cervical collar on because he also has ligament damage to his neck.
I have learned that man’s report is not always God’s report, so I wait upon the Lord. I thank you all for your prayers, your FB comments. I appreciate if people will think about their comments before they are written, as some I have seen are distressing to this momma. I know you mean well, but please save opinions on his prognosis, and be in prayer asking our Savior to heal him. I know, God’s will be done. God bless you all.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
UPDATE 8-25 MORNING
They have been waiting to take him in for MRI, to see if they can remove the cervical collar, that would be nice. Temperature is still kind of high, but manageable so far, they think it’s just his brain’s inability to regulate itself right now. They took out his ventricular i.v. from brain yesterday and cleaned up his head and nose again, much abrasions there. He is still not breathing on his own, and the trach is still an option, but they haven’t made a decision yet on that. His spinal fluid did come back clear, so that is good news. Each day things change. Many of you have asked about Chris and Cristina, of course I can’t update there for obvious reasons more than to share, keep praying for their comfort, for their peace, and for Chris to heal and grow stronger. For her little ones too. When it is your husband (having been there myself), and you have little ones at home, it is very difficult. My youngest, Koby was just a baby when Gilbert was first in ICU at Mayo. And Jessup was a 3 year old, along with all the other little ones I had at home, 5 more ranging 5,7,8,9 & 10. Pray for supportive people to continue to surround our families, and anyone disruptive to be kept away, including all nursing or doctors. We’ve been fortunate a majority of the time.
We know there are tender new mercies each morning from the Lord, I actually made that Bible verse picture below thinking on Cristina, who looks quite a bit like that, with beautiful long hair, and sweet, kind face. It’s surreal how one would have to meet in these circumstances, but the Lord knows and cares, and stores all our tears (Psalm 56:8).
Love in Christ to all who are reading.
For those of you who aren’t ‘sure’ that you know Jesus Christ, or are interested in knowing more, I am sharing a video. Going to heaven is not about some ‘religion’ or about being good. This is a short video, please consider taking the time to watch one who I consider a friend, Pastor Tom Cucuzza.
UPDATE 8-24 EVENING
UPDATE 8-24 AFTERNOON
The trauma team came but did not speak to me, waiting for the doctor to come back, but please pray, he has a high temp, and the tylenol did not bring it down. They are icing him and the room is cold. They took some cerebral spinal fluid, may not the results later tonight. They did remove the IV from his brain, the head pressures were fairly stable, so they took it out and stitched it up. The trach is still up in the air, but please pray now for his temperature.
UPDATE 8-24 MORNING
Trauma team will be in here in about an hour. Please pray for wisdom for what will be the next step. Also please pray for wisdom on how to handle a situation with a certain nurse. For the good of all, but in the right timing. Please continue to uphold Chris and Cristina. Thank you to the anonymous donor of money for them, Cristina cried and told me to keep it for Adam. I told her, that it was meant for her, she just kept shaking her head and his mother and brother were also very thankful and I just think the gesture really blessed them, so thank you again ❤
UPDATE 8-22-2015 EVENING
Bone weary. I was thinking as I prepared for bed, how much different this would be for me, if I didn’t know the Lord as my friend. No progress was made today. The CT scan was unchanged from yesterday. He is still not responsive to any commands. I talked to 4 different doctors today. Sometimes there is none, and sometimes several. They spoke of doing a trachestomy in the next couple of days if they cannot get him to respond and breathe on his own. Lots of head traumas came in last night.
The day goes on for all, I watch and wonder if they contemplate or maybe just don’t think on the existence of God. I feel such compassion for all in there. My son’s friends, the patients, the older woman silently whispering a prayer outside her husband’s room. My body is weak, my emotions are fragile, but I see so many that need pointed to the One who loves them. If they only saw the myriad ways He uses to daily draws them to Him in lovingkindness. I wonder in my head, does this make them ponder the brevity of life and what their end might be? I don’t know if they do.
I talked to Cristine, and she came by to say goodbye tonight, on her way home to her two babies. She is a sweet person, my heart really cries out for her, please keep her in your prayers, to come to know Him (if she doesn’t), for the right opportunities to present itself to continue to share with her of Christ’s great love for them all. Somebody (who wanted to remain anonymous) sent me what I ‘think’ is a beautiful banana bread loaf. I did not open it. I felt heavily impressed to give it to Cristina. She was so touched, she said her little one LOVES banana bread and she just inhaled it. And she told me her husband cooked, and she did not. When she came tonight, she said she had put the Bible verse picture on the wall. Thank you to the anonymous person who sent it ❤ May the Lord bless your efforts and touch them when they look on the beautiful script on their wall.
Love you all, so many to say thank you too, and not enough energy. Please keep praying for Adam. Adam knows the Lord, it’s part of what makes him the kind of person he is. Maybe some of you know that. But it’s the Lord that has made his heart soft and kind towards others. It’s not because of his own goodness, but because of Christ’s great love to give Himself in our place. Adam believes that, and has eternal life because of who Christ is, not of anything he has done. Anyways, I hope you all will be sure you know where you would go if you died tonight.
UPDATE 8-22-2015 MORNING
I posted in the comments yesterday, but appreciate prayers for the return of his cognitive function, also his respiratory function at the right time. For him to be protected from pneumonia. His CT scan results are not back, they just took him a little while. Last night was a busy trauma night, or I should say early this morning. Unfortunately they see more trauma on the weekends.
Please continue in prayer for the other man, Chris, and his wife Cristina. I was able to read the Bible to Chris for awhile, the Word of God is truly amazing, he was calm and his blood pressure dropped while I was reading. The first portion was from Psalm 139, for both of them. I wrote down the passages which I want to give to his sweet wife. They have two young children, so thank you for including them in your prayers.
Thank you all for your prayers. We are physically weary, but the Lord is with us. I want you all to know, I am reading your comments, and it lifts me up ❤
Love in Christ.
If any of his friends or anyone out there, are reading this, that do not know the Lord, or are not SURE of their position in Christ, please know I care about you and want to know you are all right if something happened to you. It’s not about religion, but the simple good news.
Please read this link, it is simple, and straightforward, and will tell you how you can know you would be with the Lord if something happened to you. I made certain that Adam understood and believed the clear gospel, and if I had still been involved in that stinking thinking that the Loadship (lordship) legalistic doctrine/religion brings, that one’s life or they way they live it proves whether someone is saved, I would be in more fear now.
As I see all his friends come into the hospital, my heart is moved to great love and compassion for them, I feel like a mother to many more oddly. I pray that those who do not know the Lord will come to know His great love for them.
We are so thankful for the many praying, it is not prayer that has power, but the Lord is who is powerful, so it is Who we are praying to that makes all the difference. We love Him, and we trust Him, and know that He is good to us, not matter what we see in this life.
I am the redeemed of the Lord, and I believe so is my son Adam. The Lord saved me from eternal death and He has delivered me from many afflictions in this life. When my hungry and thirst soul fainted within me, He as the one Who has satisfied my longing soul with all good things.
I want to praise the Lord for His goodness, and for His many wonderful works towards me, for saving me out of so many distresses is my life. Please read Psalm 107, and understand the lovingkindness of the Lord. Today I hope to read Psalm 139 and 63, not only to Adam, but to Chris if his wife will permit me. And that is if the Lord wishes me too, or leads me elsewhere. Pray that the Holy Spirit will bring which of His Word I should speak to my remembrance.
ORIGINAL PRAYER REQUEST. (8-20-2015)
I just received an e-mail from Holly that her son Adam was involved in a serious motorcycle accident last night.
Following is the full text of Holly’s e-mail:
I don’t know where it’d be appropriate to ask for prayer, but my son Adam was in a serious motorcycle accident last night, he has severe head injuries and is not responding to any commands. I don’t know what happened with the guy who was driving, I know they took him into surgery. They’re not acting as if they are holding much hope out, just appreciate whatever prayers.
Please join me in praying for Adam, Holly and her family, as well as the other person involved in the accident.